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What makes a child "legit"? Goto Page: 1 2 [>] [»|]

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Ricette

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 5:34 pm
I have found out that I am one month pregnant. I am not married yet to the father and we do not want to get married because of the baby. Now, my mom brought up a discussion on making the child "legit" by marrying before the child is born. His mother thinks the child is already "legit" regardless of our marital status. What do you all think makes a child "legit"?
Keep in mind I am not Christian  
PostPosted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 4:51 am
Ricette Wrote:
I have found out that I am one month pregnant. I am not married yet to the father and we do not want to get married because of the baby. Now, my mom brought up a discussion on making the child "legit" by marrying before the child is born. His mother thinks the child is already "legit" regardless of our marital status. What do you all think makes a child "legit"?
Keep in mind I am not Christian


Legit is nothing. It is a child regardless of the parents. I don't believe in "bastards", as people do not choose who they are born to or the circumstances of their birth, and thus do not deserve a smeared reputation because of such thought.

Get married or don't, a child in or out of wedlock is a child all the same. And if you don't feel you have the ability or financial stability to care for your child, you can put it up for adoption. While it may be difficult to do, the child will be given a chance.  

divineseraph

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Ablazed
Captain
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:24 pm
I completely agree with divineserapah.

There are NO illegitimate children. There's just no such thing.  
PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 11:31 pm
Look at a dictionary for this one.

Legitimate (of a child) - born of parents lawfully married to each other.
Baby born WITHIN marriage.

Illegitimate (of a child) - born of parents not lawfully married to each other.
Baby born OUTSIDE of marriage (even if they are married later, but then the father can claim the child as his own).

Question: Did you wish to marry this guy BEFORE you found out you were pregnant?

If no, do not saddle yourself in a relationship that may never be healthy.

At this point, you need to figure out your life.

Are you going to keep going with this guy?

Is he going to take responsibility for the child?
- If not, RUN AWAY! He is not a man, but a boy.

Are you able to care for the child in all his/her needs? (food, clothing, shelter, hygiene, schooling...)

Will you be able to raise the child on your own?
- If not, adopt. There are hundreds (if not thousands) of married couples looking to adopt a baby since they cannot have one of their own. You would give them one of the best gifts in the world, and you would be giving your child his/her best chance in life.

Regardless of your religious views, these are things that you need to consider NOW.

Overall, I will pray that you will make the right choice for the child because right now, they are the one that needs the care and love and protection.  

SloanSage

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Ricette

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 2:20 am
He and I were planning on getting married before the pregnancy, and, it was planned yet unplanned. We both wanted one, and child or no, we will still wed. We has luvs. I still am angry at the legit issue. Why should a child born with parents one way be condemned in some manner and one child with parents another way be blessed and such?  
PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 8:06 am
Don't listen to ancient dogma. If we consider past rules on what gives a child personhood, black people, pagans and women are also illegitimate human beings, for how they were born and their biological status.  

divineseraph

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SloanSage

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:44 pm
Illegitimacy was how many people of higher standings decided who received inheritance. That is all. It is no longer a practiced standard. If you write a will for all of your children to be included, then so be it. There are many cases where an illegitimate child was given an inheritance. So really, it was not a law, just more of a social guideline.

And I have a friend who was just like you and your soon-to-be-husband. they had planned on getting married and then they were surprised with their first baby girl. They are happily married and plan on being so for the rest of their lives. They also plan on more children, but after they both finish college and they get steady jobs. At least, they will wait fie years.  
PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 7:28 am
It's still a bad standard, from an objective view. One has no choice in what they are born as. Thus, one should not be punished, since one did nothing wrong in being born out of wedlock.  

divineseraph

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SloanSage

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 10:06 pm
Who said that the child would be punished? No one can call a child a b*****d if they do not know. you are not obligated to wear a Scarlet Letter, or a Cross, or a Star of David.

God has blessed a couple with a new life, and that is that.

Besides, look at the "bastards" that have been successful in life and history.  
PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 4:16 am
Well due to the centuries of children born out of wedlock being called illegitimate, its been passed on to many parents who still try to cling to that old school and so any grandchildren born out of wedlock are not legitimate in their eyes, and a few see it as bad in the eyes of their church to not have a child born in wedlock, which is my mother's take.

So it still has a precedence on it all. Horrible as it can get.  

Ricette

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Mountain Rose

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 11:20 pm
In my study of the Bible, I haven't found anything about the legitimacy of children. I think that was a social thing. The reason that people looked down upon an illigitimate child was because their parents obviously sinned.  
PostPosted: Sun Nov 16, 2008 11:58 pm
[quote="Ricette"]Well due to the centuries of children born out of wedlock being called illegitimate, its been passed on to many parents who still try to cling to that old school and so any grandchildren born out of wedlock are not legitimate in their eyes, and a few see it as bad in the eyes of their church to not have a child born in wedlock, which is my mother's take.

So it still has a precedence on it all. Horrible as it can get.[/quote]

Question, will the child be loved less because it is born out of wedlock? By the grandparents, I mean? If so, they really need to look at themselves a little more. A child born of rape is in the same situation, only a little worse. It is still born out of wedlock, but the mother did no sin. Would the grandparent of a child made from rape love the child less? Is it the child's fault?

Maybe ask your mother these things, she might think a little more and change some of her thoughts.  

SloanSage

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promised_child

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 10:06 pm
Ricette Wrote:
I have found out that I am one month pregnant. I am not married yet to the father and we do not want to get married because of the baby. Now, my mom brought up a discussion on making the child "legit" by marrying before the child is born. His mother thinks the child is already "legit" regardless of our marital status. What do you all think makes a child "legit"?
Keep in mind I am not Christian


i will tell you what my mother told me when my grandfather called me a b*****d- there are no illigitimate children, just accidental parents. if you both show love to the baby, baby will be basicaly happy. as for legal legitimacy, just give said child its daddys last name. thats really all marriage would do for the kid.  
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2009 9:37 pm
Legitimacy is a social classification I think.  

OneWithDunamis

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promised_child

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:17 pm
so it is.  
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