The Battle of Heart and Mind

[Steadfast Hope]

I feel silly for asking this, I know that everyone has issues with relationships and finding love, but I really just want someone to tell me what I know I need to hear.

I'm falling for my best friend. I didn't mean to...it's surprised me, if that's at all possible. I honestly don't want to be attracted to him, and it is appalling to me that part of my heart even wants that, because I know that's not the role I was meant to play in his life. All my logic is there- He's not a christian. He is not mine. He just got out of a relationship, one that shattered his heart. If I were to date him, even if it were with the knowledge he is not the man God has for me, then I know I would be doing irreparable damage. To him, to me, to our relationship as it is now. If I were to ask for more from him, I would lose all I have. I would be responsible for pushing him further away from God, because after he trusted me with so delicate a thing, there is no way I could be trusted with mending what I myself had broken anew.

Yet, for as much as I know what I should do, there are moments where I find myself wanting something else. I want God. I need God. I want all of him, to drown in his promise. I want his will, I want his blessing. If I do this after recieving a blatant "no", then I am outright disobeying my Lord. I know that. I want to run from this temptation, this inkling of desire.

But how does one run from herself? How do I carve that part of my heart out and throw it away? I will. I will do whatever necessary, because God has given me the grace to see the danger in that desire...

I just don't know how.  

[moosiklady]

That's a tough one - PRAY! We all have temptations sometimes, and some are pretty hard to resist. Keep your love as real as it can be - and that means doing what's BEST for both of you.  

[rillegas08]

Ooh. A delicate situation.

First off, why are you attracted to him? That will help me help you. Second, what did he trust you with?

I may sound intrusive, but in order for me to make the right decisions, I need to know some details. If you don't feel like telling me, I'm fine with that.

I'll pray for you, Steadfast Hope.  

[Steadfast Hope]

I don't even know. I think its partially because I spend so much time with him, partially because society tells me that my best friend cannot possibly be a guy unless I am secretly attracted to him, and partially because I see so much in him, he is a great guy. (( Details of which I wont get into. You don't want to hear all that case, just take my word for it. ))

He trusted me with his heart. He dated my best friend in high school, and after they broke up, it emotionally shattered him in some ways. So, he turned to me. He talked to me. He trusted me with his dreams, with his fears...and I could never truly ask him for more than his friendship. He'd never feel that way about me in the first place, and if it didn't work out, who would he have? He's been in some rough places, and by some miracle God has trusted me to be there for him. I don't want to betray that trust. Either God, or my friend's.

Thank you. I need it.  

[Aquiella]

Well, since I've always had a switch in my brain that is automatically set to "friend" and needs to be switched in order to be considered anything more than that, I'm not sure how to help you. But I'll do my best!!!

I have a strong will. (It kept me alive at least once.)

Sometimes I'll be tempted to do or watch something I know I'm not supposed to. When that happens, when the thought invades my brain and tries to convince me, I squash it. Mercilessly.

I think that's what you should do. Pray. And until you figure it out, or god tells you, keep that thought out of your mind.

Shake your head if you have to!! Better to look silly to the world than to be sinful in the eyes of God!!



If I think of anything else, I'll let you know. *prays and hugs*  

[lordstar]

Steadfast Hope

I don't even know. I think its partially because I spend so much time with him, partially because society tells me that my best friend cannot possibly be a guy unless I am secretly attracted to him, and partially because I see so much in him, he is a great guy. (( Details of which I wont get into. You don't want to hear all that case, just take my word for it. ))

He trusted me with his heart. He dated my best friend in high school, and after they broke up, it emotionally shattered him in some ways. So, he turned to me. He talked to me. He trusted me with his dreams, with his fears...and I could never truly ask him for more than his friendship. He'd never feel that way about me in the first place, and if it didn't work out, who would he have? He's been in some rough places, and by some miracle God has trusted me to be there for him. I don't want to betray that trust. Either God, or my friend's.

Thank you. I need it.

He trusted you with his heart
but you do not trust your own heart

and why the self sabotage
certainly your smiling face is God's greatest joy
so what if he is not Christian
if God wanted him to be then he will find his own path and without any help
perhaps he is the one for you just as God has planed

you will never know if you don't try  

[Aquiella]

stare yeah. Not the best idea. That's the same as saying "How do you know you won't like it if you don't try it?"

Ever stick your finger in a light socket? "How do you know you won't like it if you don't try it?"

Ever licked a flagpole in -2 degree weather? "How do you know you won't like it if you don't try it?"

If you think you have to try everything to see if you'll like it.... you ain't gonna live very long!!  

[lordstar]

Aquiella

stare yeah. Not the best idea. That's the same as saying "How do you know you won't like it if you don't try it?"

Ever stick your finger in a light socket? "How do you know you won't like it if you don't try it?"

Ever licked a flagpole in -2 degree weather? "How do you know you won't like it if you don't try it?"

If you think you have to try everything to see if you'll like it.... you ain't gonna live very long!!

Both your examples are verifiable by other means
The situation above and its outcomes are not

Besides
"How do you know you won't like it if you don't try it?"
is silly

The point here is she wouldn't know either way unless she tries something  

[Steadfast Hope]

lol. You both make me laugh.

The fact of the matter is...I have too much to lose. And I'm just not brave enough to risk it for something I'm 80% sure wouldnt' work out anyway. I'm not brave enough to lose what I have in a foolish hope for more.

But thanks for the input anyway, Lordstar. I think it's good advice...just not for this guy paticularly.  

[lordstar]

Steadfast Hope

lol. You both make me laugh.

The fact of the matter is...I have too much to lose. And I'm just not brave enough to risk it for something I'm 80% sure wouldnt' work out anyway. I'm not brave enough to lose what I have in a foolish hope for more.

But thanks for the input anyway, Lordstar. I think it's good advice...just not for this guy paticularly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBK-_ClgWDY

There is an interesting story behind this song
see what you think

Anyway I wish you the best  

[Steadfast Hope]

It is appreciated.

lol. I'm afraid I don't understand the clip.  

[eaglepurple]

Convert him into a christain... oh shoot srry i dont know wat im saying...

god bless  

[SloanSage]

Right now, all you can do is just be a friend. The guy has trusted you with his heart, now you need to trust God with his heart, and yours.

Do not act on your feelings. He is not Christian, and that is the first reason. Second, you may be the one who ends up with a shattered heart.

Pray for him and his salvation. Pray for yourself and any temptation that may come your way. And trust God with EVERYTHING!

I will be praying for you.  

[Aquiella]

I'm glad I made you laugh. That was my basic intention. That and showing you how rediculous the "don't knock it till you try it" idea really is. XD

Read your bible. Pray. Ask God to show you what is right and wrong in this situation.

I'm prayin' for ya girl!! v^_^v