._unohime's Raevan

[radish]

When Nina came to fourteen hours later, she didn't expect her first sight to be the unpleasant frown of her best friend looking down on her, one foot tapping impatiently at her bedside. The second wasn't the searing pain that ate away her sensibilities; where even ambient light from her window felt as if someone turned up the sun. She clutched a hand to her temple and groaned, deepening Remi's frown.

"About damn time you woke up," she said with a sniff, turning on her heel to fetch the brunette some painkillers.

"I thought Holle was staying with you today?"

After the painkillers had kicked it and Nina felt like a Person again, she started on the great expedition from her room to the living room. Her body still hurt, and her stomach churned, certainly not used to all of the alcohol she drank the previous night, and there was the additional embarrassment she had to endure from her drunken antics, but like with all of life, Nina would cross those bridges when she got to them. For now, she studied the waters below the bridge named Holle. The Frei relayed nothing of the night before, seemingly because Nina hadn't asked, and mostly because she was afraid to. The Frei's typical jubilant frolicking and play about the apartment felt intimidating, so Nina toed her circumstances with Remi first.

"Was." Remi punctuated the word by leaning forward, confirming Holle was out of earshot as she disappeared into Nina's room to read. "We were having a great time; I introduced her to Mario Kart and she kicked my a**. Twice. Why did you ever keep video games away from her, girlie?"

Holle fixed a glare at her, upset that Remi had breached the promise she made, which clearly stated the Frei wasn't to touch such entertainment until Nina gave her express permission. She knew, once Holle started, she wouldn't stop. Video games encompassed everything her mind loved—story, colors, adventure—and it would grow and grow until she was obsessed. It was surprising Holle hadn't tackled her with demands for the latest system (though the inkling she was saving it for when her aunt left was a high possibility). The Frei hadn't even learned skills to cope and manage yet, there was no way she'd be able to handle it efficiently.

But, as always, that was another bridge for another day.

Instead, Nina sighed, and said, "I have my reasons. I still do, but I don't have the energy to get pissed at you." She ran a thumb across her temple. "Is that why you brought her home early? Because she beat you at a video game?"

"What? No, no, I'm not that petty, girlie. Sheesh." Remi pursed her lips. "I actually brought her back last night. You see, even though we had a good day together, night... was a whole other story. She couldn't sleep, Nina. Said everything felt different without you there."

Nina felt her heart sank. The sentiment was sweet, but the guilt was raw. "Oh."

"I brought her back and offered to stay with her until you came home, but she insisted she was fine waiting by herself." Nina glared daggers at her, and Remi held her hands up to protect herself from the intensity of those teal eyes. "Hey, hey, I knew you'd be super pissed to know I left her alone for that long, but cut me some slack, yea? She didn't want me there, and it's not like she did anything to the apartment."

That I've yet to discover, Nina mentally noted, and rebuked herself over.

"Fine. Whatever. I'll let it pass this once, but if you leave Holle alone again—"

"I know, I know. Don't pick fights with a mama bear. I get it."

Nina harrumphed. "Good. Okay, question: did Holle tell you anything about last night while I was asleep? Anything at all?"

Remi quirked a brow. "No? Besides you getting stone drunk, but I didn't need her to tell me that. What got into you, girlie? It's rare for you to throw back the bottles like water."

Nina leaned forward into her hand and sighed as flashbacks of her evening returned. She couldn't recall the whole night, just the significant, highly bothersome parts.

Ugh.

Ugh.

"I only went out because Harriet forced me to," she said. "I just wanted to show my face, have a few beers, then leave. But then..." Nina felt her heart thud. "I ended up getting into a good conversation with one of the new hires at the academy. Danielle "Deni" Crow. Teaches one of the water classes; not sure which. I felt sorry for how awkward she was, wanted to entertain a talk just to be nice, but I then felt... it."

"...It?"

"Yes, it." Nina motioned her hand, as if willing the feeling into a separate, tangible existence before them. "Don't make me say it, Remi. Please. I embarrassed my dumb a** enough last night."

Remi truly had to weigh the implication, sit there and meditate on thoughts, to grasp the full nature of Nina's words. However, when the realization dawned on her, her face lit up like afternoon sun. She made an indecipherable noise as her mouth hung open, hands slapping at the sofa as if needing it to ground her disbelief.

"No way, girlie!" she cried, causing Nina to wince. "You actually... You actually felt something for someone? Honestly? Holy ********, finally. Finally!"

"Shush, keep it down!" Nina snapped, before burying her face in her hand again. "Besides, it's not that big of a deal. It wasn't ******** unrelenting love. We just shared a few interests. That's it. Don't think more of it. Gods."

"I can't believe what I am hearing," Remi said. "Miss Prim and Proper Nina Swan got a little crush, and drank herself into a stupor because she couldn't handle having feelings." Instead of glaring daggers, Nina looked prepared to stab her with one. "I would think that's cute if it didn't seem so ******** you," Nina said, grounding out the words despite the desire to shove her face in a pillow and scream. She felt like a teenager all over again. "It's probably a one time deal. Next time I see her, she'd just be another co-worker. The way it should be."

Remi waggled knowing eyebrows at her, and this, this it what it took to actually have Nina punch her in the arm. However, with her waned strength, it was akin to being pushed by an annoyed child. Remi laughed heartily at the poor attempt, and Nina hid her face for a third time in shame.

"I'm afraid to even ask Holle what happened."

"Why?"

"She was probably awake here when Deni dropped me off. Which means she probably talked a bit about me. Or what happened. I dread to find out what was said or did. I'm tired of this embarrassment."

"Well, I sure ain't! Hey, Holle! Holle!"

Nina growled when Remi called the Frei's name, hitting her again with newfound strength, but hardly made a blow through Remi's hardened intentions. Holle poked her head out from Nina's room, earnestly curious.

"Yes, auntie Remi?" she said.

"You mind reminding your mama what happened with her last night? It seems she needs a little jog to her memory."

Nina wanted to kick her. Reaaally kick her, but not in the presence of Holle. She had a certain image to uphold for her daughter, after all. When she's leaving. Definitely when she's leaving. Right in the shin I'll kick her. Yes.

Holle put a finger to the side of her mouth as she searched her memory. When she seemed to compile her thoughts, she settled into the armchair beside the sofa. "Mama came home with another person, a new friend, who said to call her Deni. She put mama to bed, and then I asked her to stay for a bit." Nina's stomach flipped. "We didn't talk about much. She only introduced herself and asked what I was. That's it."

"Seriously?" Remi deadpanned, suddenly dissatisfied when it turned out to be as mundane as possible. Nina felt her stomach settle comfortably.

"Uh-huh. Oh! But Deni wants to talk to mama again. She wants to find out more about me. I don't know why she can't just ask me directly, but then again, she's mama's new friend. Not mine." The Frei pouted a little. "I want to find out more about her, too."

Remi clung to this little piece of information like it was the only life preserver in a torrential flood. When asked if that was all that was required of her, Remi let the Frei return to her activity, and considered Nina with delighted awe for her situation.

"Hear that, Nina? She wants to follow-up with you. Eh, eh? She seems ~:*interested*:~"

"Get out of my home," Nina said with a snarl, pointing at the door with stabbing jabs. "Out, now! Now, now! I don't need this crap!"

"Oh, but you do, Nina!" Remi cried, shaking her excitedly. "You're not giving this chance up! I won't let you!"

Nina grimaced, but couldn't deny the festering blot within her, the slight, disgusting hope that maybe, just maybe, this was going somewhere.

Ugh.

It was a start.

 

[radish]

Nina's reverie of a certain crooked smile was broken with the sudden slap of a magazine on her pile of ungraded homework assignments. Holle clutched the edge of the dinner table with a look of expectant giddiness, just waiting for Nina to entertain her sudden idea. Despite her slight reluctance to do so, Nina pushed her glasses higher up on her nose, and inclined her head toward the magazine.

"Yes?"

"Mama, I have a brilliant idea!" she cried, her finger jabbing enthusiastically at the ad in the centerfold. "Look, look, look!"

Nina's eyebrows rose to what had piqued the Frei's interest: a sale for tickets to a botanical garden located in downtown Barton she had never heard of, despite passing by the listed address everyday on her way to work. Nina picked up the magazine and studied the various shots of flowers and plants scattered on the ad; only catching briefly that the half-off sale had long since passed. Nevertheless, something in Holle's obvious intentions sparked something in her own, and she smoothed the magazine down on the table.

"We can see about going tomorrow," she said, observing how mirth burbled up in Holle's eyes.

"Thank you, mama!" she said. "We're going to have so much fun, I just know it!"

Nina regarded Holle with a smile, but she felt that reluctance shift in her stomach again. Though a ripe opportunity for what she'd been putting off for, frankly, too damn long, she still didn't want to go through with the inevitable.


🌱


The biggest elephant in the room happened to be the tiny Raevan flitting happily about, but she seemed completely oblivious to the tension between mother and daughter gazing at her from afar. Since Cynthia-Maria's attempt to "save" Nina from the birth of her granddaughter, they had not spoken. In fact, Nina had no desire to speak with her whatsoever, but knew she could only sit on the chance to introduce Holle to her grandparents before she found out herself and demanded it. Nina wanted to ease introductions and go through Malcolm first, but her mother happened to be the one to answer the phone that evening.

"Hello?"

"Oh... ma. It's... I-it's you."

"Hello, Nina."

"H-hi, ma. Um, is dad around? I have something I want to talk to him about."

"No, he isn't. He's gone for a few days to visit Abel and Theresia. Is it pressing?"

"Not really..."

"Then why can't you talk to your mother about it?"

Her question sounded concerned, but Nina could hear the iciness bellied beneath. Even over the phone Cynthia-Maria could tell her daughter was trying to use Malcolm as a mediator for something; the underlying matter evident considering the time frame. Nina let out a breath; well, she'd have to introduce Holle to her storm of a mother eventually, so it might as well be now.

"The Raevan was born." Nina put it bluntly, since there was no use skirting the matter anymore. She knew her mother tensed without even seeing her. "It's been a few months, actually. I would've had her meet everyone earlier, but I wanted her to get settled. She's met Noah, Remi... so there's just you and dad." Her tone deflated slightly; she realized how awful that sounded, introducing Holle to them so late. Nina knew this, with a great many other things, would come back to bite in the a** when she would least expect it. "I'm taking her out to a botanical garden tomorrow, since she wanted to go. If you're free, ma, did you want to come along? To, uh, meet her?"

Cynthia-Maria was silent for so long, Nina was convinced the line had disconnected. She parted lips to call out to her, but barely "M—" escaped her mouth before her mother replied with a quiet, "Yes."

The rest followed as if practiced; Nina told her the time, Noah drove her up there with Holle in tow, and promptly dropped off the Swans at the botanical garden with an awkward goodbye. Cynthia-Maria was parked patiently beside the building's entrance, face as blank as a slate. Holle zipped passed her, as if she were part of the scenery, before Nina could even break the ice with a greeting. The Frei was already through the door when Nina bid her mother hello, and the woman wheeled her chair passed her, as if silently saying, "Let's just get this over with."

Like the day Nina brought her mother to her apartment, she walked and pushed from behind as Cynthia-Maria guided the chair. Eventually, she signaled for her to stop, and when she didn't do so to take in the flora, Nina saw this as a sign to call ahead and remind Holle not to stray from the path.

"So," Cynthia-Maria began, "what's her name?"

"Holle."

"You named her after a storybook?"

The question was so quick and prompt that Nina was taken aback a little. Scratching the back of her neck, she said, "Yes. I liked the name... and I never said I was the most creative with names."

Cynthia-Maria hummed; that annoying little hum that made Nina feel the size of a pea. She flicked a strand of hair from her face and angled her chair to take in the sight of the Raevan. Her expression was unreadable, much to Nina's chagrin.

"She's in school?" Cynthia-Maria asked suddenly.

"No, not yet. She will be, though. At Magnolia."

"Isn't she a little old to be attending?"

"Er, yes and no? She looks a little older, but, well"—Nina gestured to the Raevan, as if her very being explained it all—"she's a kid at heart. She'll fit right in. She's not the first older-looking kid we've had at the academy, ma. I don't plan to keep her there long, anyway. It's just a transition thing, y'know, get her used to a school setting before she is ready for the equivalent of high school."

"And college?"

"If she wants to go."

Cynthia-Maria's brow furrowed at this reply, but she said nothing on the matter. Instead, her next question followed as if set on a conveyor belt. "Does she eat? Considering the lack of a full body, I mean."

Nina nodded her head. "Sometimes. She drinks a lot of water, but most of it is natural via the sun. Sometimes she snacks on her namesakes—blackberries, moss—but they're out of season, so just water and sunlight. I save a lot on groceries." Nina snickered, but her mother did not. "If you're worried about her diet, don't be. I keep strict vigil on what she eats, always."

This answer, by the pursing of Cynthia-Maria's lips, certainly pleased the woman. Efficiency was her mother's pride, and seeing a reflection of herself in her child was, in an egotistical sense, something she loved. Nina wanted to revel in that silent praise, but her stomach squirmed with rebellion; if she hadn't made that vow as a teen to never be like her mother, maybe the feeling would've been satisfaction.

"Does she know about me?"

Nina pulled herself from ruminating on the matter. "Huh?" she asked nonetheless, caught off-guard.

"About how I view non-humans."

"Oh, uh. No. No, I didn't tell her anything. It'd be wrong... I mean, she's sensitive to stuff like that. People not liking her and stuff. I didn't want to start you two off on the wrong foot."

"I see." Cynthia-Maria dropped her gaze. "That's very noble."

"It's for her sake, not mine."

Cynthia-Maria's voice seemed to escape with the small exhale she gave. She'd gone quiet, expression one again blank and unreadable. Nina rolled her eyes as her stomach gave another flip; her mother had a lovely tendency of cutting conversations short, especially when they were of importance. She stepped forward to clear the air, initiate something between them to fill the silence, but a push to the back of her mother's chair to continue their walk went ignored. Cynthia-Maria wasn't even regarding her; her sights were set completely on Holle, like she was the most interesting and dullest sight to ever be considered by the woman.

"I don't know how to respond to her." Cynthia-Maria's voice was soft, barely audible, as if not meant for Nina's ears. When she turned and looked to her daughter, the blue of her eyes was warm, nervous; so unlike the woman Nina grew to know. "She hasn't said a word to me, Nina, but I don't know what to say to her." The admittance alone was a few words short of saying she was afraid.

"Ma..." Nina was at a loss for words as well; her mother expressed only a hint of vulnerability—once—when she relayed the story of her father. To see it again without provocation shocked Nina to her core.

"That's my fault," Nina admitted. "I told her not to speak to you. Not yet."

She recalled their conversation in the car, Holle's bright eyes dulling with worry as Nina carefully warned her of her mother, to wait for her to make sure it was safe to brave the storm known as Cynthia-Maria. The Frei had protested vehemently, saying she should be the one to decide what her grandmother was like. Nina snapped at her for going against her wishes, and the Raevan had fallen sullen; remaining so the rest of the car ride. Her mood only perked up when they reached their destination.

"I-I wanted to make sure it was okay. That you wouldn't say anything to ruin a potential relationship with your granddaughter. Ma, Holle is such a great person. She's so perky, and kind, and gentle, and and"—Nina swallowed back the lump in her throat, willed away tears from her eyes—"she's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I couldn't have asked for a better kid. I... just wish you can see that too, to actually get to know her, the circumstances of her birth aside."

"Are you that afraid of me, Nina?"

She almost corrected her, ask if she meant Holle, but the insinuation of that simple question stymied every single thought in the brunette's head. Is that what their relationship had come down to? Fear?

Or had it always been this way?

Nina swallowed thickly, almost answering yes, before she glanced aside and said, "I don't know."

Cynthia-Maria let out a deep sigh, and turned away from her completely with her chair. "Honestly," she said dryly. "What's happened to us, Nina? What's going to happen?" She began to push herself along the path, seemingly content to drop their conversation completely then and there.

Unnerved, but completely relieved, Nina tailed along after her mother without another word to join the Raevan at the end of the path. Holle looked up from her in-depth conversation with the flowers to regard guardian and grandmother curiously; aware of the tension between them, but unsure of how to approach it. It was Nina who broke it, albeit unwillingly.

"Holle," she said steadily. "There's someone I would like you to meet. This is my mother, Cynthia-Maria Swan. She's also your grandmother. Say hello."

Holle exchanged glances between Nina and Cynthia-Maria before tentatively approaching the older woman. "Hi, I'm Holle Swan," she said. "It's nice to meet you, ma. Um. Grandma. Grammy? Grandmama." Holle nodded twice. "Grandmama."

Cynthia-Maria regarded the Raevan with a stiff smile. "Hello, Holle. It's a pleasure to meet you, too."

Holle returned the smile; a genuine flash of white that she gave everyone who she met. Nina felt grounded by that smile; it was so open, honest, as if brightly saying, "Let me get to know you."

"Mama told me a lot about you," she said, though most of it was relegated to their drive over to the garden. "You don't look much like her, though. I heard that was a thing between bee-o-lo-gi-cle parents and babies. Looking similar."

Nina winced as if Holle had made a major social faux pas, but Cynthia-Maria entertained the idea willing. Or maybe unwillingly; her expression was unreadable again.

"No, Nina doesn't look much like me. She looks more like her father, Malcolm." Cynthia-Maria's face softened upon mentioning the man's name, and Nina inwardly sighed.

Right. Dad. That's always a safe topic when it comes to ma.

Holle's eyes glittered. "Oh, grandpapa! Mama looks like grandpapa?" She glanced between Nina and Cynthia-Maria again. "Can you tell me about him, grandmama? Since he's not here, I want to hear about him, too!"

Nina choked when she saw a smile blossom on her mother's face. It was a quick one, cheery and definite, and gone away as if snatched by the wind. "Of course," she said, wheeling ahead a bit to be followed. "What would you like to know?"

Holle clasped her hand together and floated after the older woman, dimples deeply set in her face from her wide, wide smile. "Oh, anything and everything!" she cried. "Whatever you want to talk about!"


🌱


The two were an animated pair. Nina had never seen her mother work tirelessly to keep up with a conversation; shifting between listening and giving replies all the while Holle chattered endlessly about whatever was on her mind. Normally others would get captured in her mother's commanding air, letting her take the lead and keep it, so it was comical to watch her mother flounder before someone who wasn't even trying to take charge.

It seemed Cynthia-Maria had met her match. That, in itself, was satisfying as Nina looked on from behind.

Holle's disgruntles about the complexities of a television remote were suddenly cut off as Cynthia-Maria glanced at the watch on her wrist.

"Malcolm is supposed to be here soon," she said. "So we should start wrapping this up. Holle, it was a pleasure to meet you. Nina, it was also good to see you after such a very long time."

The brunette audibly gulped at that statement. Honestly, her mother knew how to lay on the guilt thick.

"Same with you, ma..."

"Please do call more as well, Nina. It's nice to hear your voice."

"R-right."

"Aw, grandmama, do you really have to go?" Holle's bottom lip jutted out in disappointment. "I was just getting to the good part! The part where I learned how to use the remote. And video games! Mama, she can't leave until I talk about the video games I played with Remi!" She floated over to Nina and tugged on her arm childishly, flashing those eyes that the woman was weak to.

"As... much as I would like her to stay too, sweetie, ma has to head out. We shouldn't keep her, okay? It might be seen as rude."

Holle sighed regretfully. "Okaaay. I understand. I'm sorry if I kept you, grandmama. I'd love to spend some more time with you, though!"

"That sounds fantastic; how about a weekend at our home? Malcolm and I would love to have you, Holle. I'll be sure to have Nina follow-up on when." The stare she leveled on her daughter meant it would happen without complaint; Nina felt a shiver up her spine and mentally noted to call her mother later to determine a date.

"Have a pleasant day, ladies."

With that, Cynthia-Maria turned on her chair and parted herself from the two's company. Both Holle and Nina watched her leave, before the latter released all tension from her form when she was finally gone. Holle blinked curiously.

"Mama, she's not that scary!" Holle huffed. "Stop making mountains out of molehills."

"Don't you have use that idiom on me, young lady," Nina admonished jokingly. "You only experienced her for a day. Imagine having been raised by that woman."

"Well, if she raised a person like you, mama, she might not all be that bad." The dimpled smile she gave was absolutely endearing. Nina chagrined deeply.

"Honestly, how you say something so embarrassing with a straight face?"

"Because it's the truth!"

 

[radish]

Nina felt her stomach lurch from the post-it note stuck to the corner of her computer screen; the message scrawled in very neat, feminine script reading, "I hope you're feeling okay! -Deni⛤" Nina plucked it off and turned it about, as if expecting a hidden cipher on the back, and looked again to the very simple sentence with a look of bewilderment, guilt, and much to her chagrin, joy. She couldn't gauge how long it'd hung there, completely unnoticed by her.

Even more so that it was never touched upon; Nina saw Deni a myriad of times over the past few weeks. Never long enough to make conversation, but a brief passing here or there to exchange a smile, bid good morning or good day, send off with a goodbye. She was always regarded in the same manner, formally polite, and Nina would always respond in kind—mundane, businesslike. She was the same with all of her coworkers.

But that note, that one little sliver of paper likely penned during a lunchtime, overstepped a boundary Nina didn't even know she had erected. Her throat clenched as she willed down emotions that came with the thought.

She was concerned about me. Enough to leave this about it. Her throat clenched again for emphasis. Oh.

She wasn't sure which was more poignant: worry that someone worried for her after she drank herself silly, or that that worry went without reply for, in Nina's opinion, what felt like a lifetime.

Immediately, her head jerked about in search, and Nina discovered she was the only one left in the teacher's office. Her desk was in the dead center of everything; she could see and hear all around her, but that only served to make her a constant purveyor of gossip (and to avoid it as well; considering she was always within earshot). Her sudden regret to having let Deni's kind words go unanswered was exchanged with the urge to rush home. Nina did so without a second thought, rising from her seat and pulling up her phone to call Noah; the post-it note smoothed onto the top assignment of the pile of papers flung into her tote.


🌱


"Weeelcome home, mama!"

Holle had gotten remarkably good at avoiding a certain awkward soul; speeding passed Noah's characteristically slouched form and into the awaiting arm of her guardian. Nina treated Holle's hugs as a necessity now; at first, she saw them as trivial and childish, but there was something comforting coming home to someone glad to see her. Especially when that person was her kid—her favorite person in the world.

"Mamaaa, you came home so late today!" Holle whined, holding her at arms length. "You could've called if you were going to be!"

Nina's shoulders sagged under Holle's hold. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I got caught in some things. Did you eat?"

The Frei nodded her head. "Uh-huh. I was waiting for you to come home, but couldn't anymore." She pouted. "I hate eating dinner alone."

Noah glanced to her from his seat on the couch. "But don't you, like, only drink water for dinner?" he asked.

"Yea, but that can be lonely!" she said.

Nina leveled a look at him that said, "Please don't press the matter." He gave her a small nod in response, and when she lumbered to the kitchen after dropping her tote in the open space next to him, asked, "Noah, are you staying for dinner?"

"Nah, I'm going up to Durem to see Grazie. I'll be leaving in a few."

Holle's eyes sparkled at the mention of the Herald, and she spun around to tell Nina what a wonderful, wonderful person she was, but the words were clamped away by her hand over her mouth. Thankfully, Nina didn't catch her, bending down into the fridge to fish out vegetables from the crisper. Noah did, however, quirking a brow. She stuck her tongue out at him in retaliation.

"Could you do me a favor, then?" Nina asked, kicking the fridge door closed with an arm full of vegetables. "Bring me back some of those macarons? The ones you got me for my birthday two years ago?"

"Full dozen?"

"Half. Harriet wouldn't eat that much."

"You got it."

Noah stood and stretched to his full height, but it did little for his posture as he slouched toward the door. His goodbye from Holle was her tongue again, but it went breezily ignored. Noah was only bothered by a light spook when he pulled the apartment door open and nearly collided with the two bodies beyond it. His eyes fastened to those as grey as a storm and the other as calming as a blue sea.

"Noah! Good to see you!" Malcolm clapped him on the shoulder heartily. "How's it going? Asked out that pretty girl of yours yet?"

Noah gave a choked response that was completely indecipherable. Cynthia-Maria pursed her lips as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and skittered away; seemingly glad to extricate himself from anyone with the surname Swan. With him gone, their attention was turned back to the apartment.

"Ma? Dad?" Nina looked incredulous from her position behind the kitchen counter, her hand tightening on a head of broccoli. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We decided to pay a visit," her mother replied as Malcolm rolled her in. Her eyes leveled on Nina, daring her her to make a comment about it being unannounced.

"Oh, I see. Well—"

"Grandmama!"

Holle couldn't contain her excitement. She bounced in place before zipping over to the older woman; hovering just low enough to pull her by the shoulders into a hug. Cynthia-Maria's lips thinned in a sad excuse for a smile as she patted the Frei's back. Once released, she looked to the man next to her, and amethyst eyes sparkled as she looked to a face that, without a doubt, resembled her mother's.

"Grandpapa!" she cried, barely unable to contain her excitement again as she captured him in a hug as well. "Grandmama was right! You do look like mama!"

Malcolm chuckled warmly, returning her embrace. When she withdrew, he held her hands gently, and gave her a once-over. "Look at you, look at you. Aren't you the prettiest thing?" Holle swayed back and forth in place, pleased by the compliment. "It's nice to finally meet you, my dear. I'm Malcolm, or grandpapa, it seems."

Nina felt her chest grow warm. Their meeting was how she had expected it to go: adorably sweet. She knew Holle would like Malcolm instantly, but never did it seem both of her parents would be swept up by Holle's sunniness.

Then again, she's always had a way with people.

Off to the side, Cynthia-Maria crossed her arms and and seemed mildly pleased with the state of things, as if all items on her agenda were met as expected. Then again, Nina wouldn't doubt if that were true—they always were, one way or another.

"Nina, were you just getting started on dinner?"

Nina's attention diverted to her father as she nodded her head slowly. "Yea. I came home late, so I was going to make something light. Stir fry. Did you guys want?"

"No, we've eaten already." Malcolm motioned to the kitchen table. "Sit, sit. Let me take care of it."

"Ah, dad, you don't—"

"C'mon, when's the last time I got to make you dinner?" Malcolm was already rolling up his sleeves, a sign she should discontinue her protests. "I'll be done in a bit."

Relinquishing her hold on the broccoli, Nina maneuvered over to the kitchen table and took her typical seat at the northern chair. Cynthia-Maria occupied the spot adjacent to her; shifting the seat out of the way to roll her chair there. Holle, caught between wanting to pacify her mother but also entertain their new guests, fetched the armful of paperwork from Nina's tote and slid it in front of her. Nina granted her a thankful smile as she got to work, leaving Holle to the company of Cynthia-Maria.

Save that Cynthia-Maria seemed disinterested in Holle; her silent presence by Nina's left invading the woman's bubble with a stern call for attention. Nina would've been inclined to ignore her, but it felt impossible with the way Cynthia-Maria leaned in.

"Are you okay, Nina?"

The sudden inquiry caused Nina to follow her mother's line of sight down to the pile of papers, centering onto the post-it stuck to the top. She suddenly felt like Noah; choking back embarrassment from where the inquiry may lead. Even worse, the message had garnered the Frei's curiosity as well, and the telltale shine to her eyes meant Nina wasn't going to like where this was going.

"Oh! Did Deni ask about me?" Holle asked hopefully.

"Deni?" Her mother loomed closer.

Nina cleared her throat. "No, sweetie, she didn't. The last time I actually had a chance to speak with her was that night I went out drinking."

"Drinking?"

"M-ma, it was with some co-workers. Geez. I'm thirty-nine, not twenty-one anymore."

Cynthia-Maria huffed and pulled away. "Who is she?" she asked. "Are you finally making another friend? Besides that Remi of yours."

Nina thinned her lips. "Ma, Remi's a good person. Lay off it. But I guess? We talked a little when I went out and she dragged me home when I drank too much. Not quite a friend, but we know each other."

"Hm."

"She's super nice!" Holle chimed in. "She wanted to know more about me, about what I am, and mama's suppose to tell her. You should do that soon, mama; it's been a long time since you've last talked to her."

"I—we've—been busy. I hardly had a chance to talk to her, sweetie."

"That's a really thin excuse, mama. It's been weeks, I'm sure you've had at least one chance!"

Nina hunched a little in her seat, internally admonishing herself when Holle spoke the truth. Okay, it was a thin excuse; she had plenty of opportunities, she simply never followed-up. She detested when her daughter made a point, especially at the behest of Nina's ineptitude.

Cynthia-Maria's eyebrows rose for a brief moment, clearly impressed by the little exchange. Something in her expression quirked to Holle, but was only caught by Nina.

"What's this about a Deni person?"

Malcolm slid a plate of steaming vegetables in front of Nina and settled himself into the seat on her right. The scent of cooked food filled her with a bestial yearning, and she dug into her stir fry with gratitude. Partly glad to finally have a meal after such a long day at work, and partly to have an excuse to shut herself up before she dug herself a deeper grave of embarrassment. Of all things to bother her equilibrium, it had to be the topic of love and relationships. She could make do with all manner of odd talk and looks, multiple appendages and lack thereof, but basic human emotion bothered her. It always did.

And there was no way she'd want to tackle that subject with her parents.

"Mama maybe a new friend," Holle filled in for Malcolm. "She got really drunk, and Deni brought her home, and she stayed to talk a bit, and she said she wanted to talk to mama about what I am, and mama hasn't talked to her yet, and she should, but she hasn't." The Frei nodded her head twice at her succinct explanation.

Nina shrunk a little deeper into her seat when she was leveled with that stare of her father's; a departure that took Malcolm the Father away and replaced him with Malcolm the Therapist. "Drunk?" he asked. "Nina, what caused you to—"

"Dad, it's not like that," Nina drawled. "Gods, don't attempt to psychoanalyze your own daughter again. I don't get drunk, as in staggeringly drunk, often. That was the first time in years. Years." Both older Swans looked to her worriedly. "Is that why you randomly came over today? To see if I was fairing well?"

"Precisely." Cynthia-Maria's short, terse reply caused Nina to stiffen. "It's been months since you've moved out and I can count on my hand the number of times you've called. You haven't even had lunch with your father. Clearly something must be wrong."

Nina's brow furrowed. "Well, I had a clear reason not to talk to you considering what you tried to do. Don't try to bring dad into this, he knows I've been busy."

Malcolm cleared his throat. "Kiddo, hear your mother out. We just—"

"I am well aware of the one mistake I made. For that, I accept full responsibility of my actions," Cynthia-Maria said. "There is more to you, however, Nina. Not only have you withdrawn from us, but you've overtaken the care of a child. In my opinion, you need us more than ever if you are to be a proper parent. Otherwise, that one night of drinking may turn into more."

You can't even ******** apologize to me, Nina thought, her hackles stiffening ramrod straight as a static of anger ran through her. And now you're trying to lecture me on how to care for me kid?

Nina opened her mouth to rebuff her, but a sudden pounding of fists to the table made her jump. All three Swans swiveled their heads to Holle, whose face was flushed red from anger. Amethyst eyes leveled on each of them before the Frei drew in a deep breath.

"It's upsetting that there is so much doubt between everyone here who is supposed to be family," Holle said. The mature lilt to her tone surprised Nina. "I wish we could just get along, but... I guess it isn't that easy since there are problems here that have been around longer than I have. But mama takes good care of me." Holle looked at Cynthia-Maria when she said this. "She doesn't need help. We are just fine."

Nina thought her mother looked like a fish as she gaped; mouth opening and closing as if she tried to find the right words to say. Instead, she gave a small, "I see," and rested her hands in her lap stiffly. "My... apologies... then. For intruding."

Nina was now the one gaping upon hearing her mother apologize. However, the Frei took her words in stride, and granted Cynthia-Maria the sweetest smile. "It's no problem, really," she said. "I know it's only because you care."


🌱


Holle facilitated their conversation from then on out. Light talk was made on a myriad of topics, and whenever anything seemed desperately close to dipping into an argument, Holle shifted concentration to something else. Nina was thankful for her daughter's spry insight; it made talking to her parents—specifically, her mother—less tiresome. Clearly, she would have to bring the Frei around whenever it came to dealing with such a storm.

Soon, the conversation began to wane, and the four of them parted; Holle dragged Cynthia-Maria into Nina's room to tell her about her favorite books, while Nina was left to the company of her father at the kitchen table. She attempted to tackle her assignments again after finishing her meal, but couldn't pass up a chance to converse with her father after such a long time.

"I'm sorry, y'know," she said to her father as her room door was clicked shut. "We haven't missed a lunch together once, but I really mean it when I say I've been busy. I'm not avoiding you or anything."

"I know, kiddo," Malcolm said. "You're a mom now and working full-time. It was to be expected."

Nina sighed. "Why can't mom be as understanding as you? She's... She's just..."

"Your mom is worried, kiddo."

"Then why can't she just say so instead of making demands?"

"She's... trying her best." Malcolm scratched the back of his neck. "She's always had trouble simply saying things, Nina. Always had. Action has always been her method of approach. Well, action through her own plans. It's complicated."

"She's complicated," Nina huffed.

Malcolm wouldn't deny the truth, but didn't seem keen on following through with it. Instead, he shifted topics to the post-it note, fingering it contemplatively. "So, this Deni person..."

"It's not what you think."

Malcolm smiled wryly. "Clearly it must be. You're beet red."

Nina touched a hand to her cheek and sighed. "We talked once, dad."

"Must've been a good talk, then."

Nina flushed a little deeper, looking away. "Yea," she said. "Yea, it was. I haven't talked with someone at such length since, well, since Andrea."

"Are you, at least, going to ask her out for coffee?"

"Dad, I don't even know if she's single!"

"I hope she is."

Nina hiccuped. "I... hope so, too."

"Atta girl." Malcolm smiled at her. "You deserve to be happy."

Nina flashed him one as well as her chest warmed, before it dipped into a displeased frown. "Y'know, I'm not fond of these ooey-gooey moments that have been happening lately. It's bothersome."

"Well, you're going to have to get used to it, kiddo," Malcolm said in a matter-of-fact tone. "You have a daughter now. They're going to be very common."

 

[radish]

(Backdated to November 14th, 2017)


Multicolor, metallic bits caught the light as Holle scooped up a handful from the basket hooked to her forearm and tossed them to the air. The confetti rained down with restless abandon; a torrential downpour as the Frei floated about and made sure to coat every inch of the apartment. Her giggles bounced off the walls as she bounced around, but once she heard the telltale turn of a knob, quieted as she rushed up to the apartment door.

Nina was barely two steps in before Holle surprised her with a handful of confetti thrown to her face. The brunette started, eyes wide, before she pursed her lips and then blew at the silver piece clinging to the tip of her nose. Holle beamed at her brightly, swaying in place as she caught her guardian’s hand in both of her own.

“Mama!” Holle chirped. “Welcome home! Do you know what today is?”

Nina glanced about the apartment. “Confetti?” she said. “Where’d you get all of this confetti, sweetie?”

“Rose gave it to me,” Holle said. “I asked her for some.”

Nina blinked. “Wait, wait, Rose actually talked to you this time?”

Holle ducked her head. “Not actually,” she said. “I asked her for some as she was leaving. She just gave it to me without a word. But!” She leaned in toward Nina. “Do you know what’s today, mama? Do you?”

Nina blinked again; one, twice, thrice. Her eyes held Holle’s as she mentally processed what could be the cause for the sudden festivities, and when it dawned on her, Nina drew in a sharp breath through her teeth. Her hand drifted up to her temple even as Holle continued to cling to it, rubbing at the throb that persisted.

“Oh. Oh. Oh, s**t…”

“Mama?”

“I’m sorry, sweetie. I’m so, so sorry. I’d forgotten today was the fourteenth. s**t! I-I didn’t even think to…” Nina dropped her shoulders. “And then there’s her…”

Holle’s tilted her head. “Who, mama?” the Frei asked, but she got her answer as the clack of heels resounded down the hallway.

“Sorry about that, Nina. I’d forgotten something in the car—oh. Um…?”

Holle’s eyes glittered upon seeing the familiar face. “Deni!” she cried, releasing her guardian’s hand to grab the woman’s in her own. The basket about her forearm swished, spilling a bit of confetti. “It’s been, like, forever since I last saw you! Are you here for my birthday party, too?” Holle turned about to Nina. “I don’t think you really forgot, mama, if you invited a guest!”

Nina cleared her throat. This was awkward. Far too awkward. There was obviously another reason she’d brought the other teacher home with her, completely unrelated to Holle turning a year old, but she couldn’t admit it. Not yet. Not when she was still mentally accepting that there was now a thing between her and the other woman.

She danced around the notion with one Danielle “Deni” Crow since that day in the bar; feelings eventually growing mutual after Nina worked up the courage to ask her out. The idea of “casual dating with no expectations or promises” only began when the brunette expressed how dissatisfied she was with just coffee dates. To no surprise, Deni was of the same opinion, and they agreed to a relationship a week ago. An actual relationship.

Nina’s first relationship in over a decade.

Gods, this is not the time to be thinking about that now, she thought as she regarded Holle babbling incoherently at Deni. Whatever she was saying, Deni only nodded her head. I asked Deni today to help me break the news to Holle, but.. there’s this. Her birthday. That I entirely forgot about because all I’ve been thinking about is my, uh, g-girlfriend. She mentally sighed. Gods, am I a teenager?

“Nina.”

The brunette broke from her thoughts when Deni called her name. The awkward smile she flashed her way had Nina lovestruck for a moment, making her think that even when slightly flustered, she had a lovely countenance. Clearing her throat, Nina stepped in, and clutched a hand on Holle’s shoulder.

“Sweetie, why don’t we talk inside? This isn’t much of a party if we have it out in the corridor.”

Holle nodded her head twice. “You’re right. You’re so right, mama,” she said. She grabbed both Nina and Deni’s hands and began to drag them both inside. “Let’s-a go! We have a party to get to!”

Both Nina and Deni exchanged sheepish smiles as they were pulled into the Swan apartment. They continued to hold this look even as Holle disappeared into her room to “put on her birthday suit” (Nina reassured Deni that her daughter, without a doubt, wouldn’t appear to them naked; she wasn’t even aware of the double meaning). Left to their own devices, the two women milled about the kitchen table, unsure whether to seat themselves or remain standing.

“She’s still as spunky as the first day I met her,” Deni said as she leaned against the kitchen table and fingered at a piece of confetti. “Hits you with an avalanche of eagerness with just a hello.”

Nina gave a one shoulder shrug. “You’ll get used to it,” she replied as she moved herself to the kitchen. She began to rummage about in the fridge, looking to salvage anything that could be used for an impromptu birthday party. “When you start to come around more often.” Nina gave pause. “If you want to.”

Deni chuckled. “Of course, I want to, Nina,” she said. “I mean, now I have a reason to.”

Nina blushed. “Right,” she said, mentally warding off the extra embarrassment that rose up within her.

There was little in the fridge; completely unsurprising considering how late she remained back at the school, opting to eat dinner before heading home, and Holle’s paltry diet consisting of only water or fruit. Fruit appeared to be the only sweet item useful for Holle’s birthday, anyhow; an untouched carton of organic blackberries proved to be the only worthy substitution for a cake.

“I could go out and buy a cake,” Deni offered when Nina placed the carton on the kitchen table. “To make this feel like an actual birthday party.”

“No, no,” Nina said. “It’s fine, we don’t need a cake. Holle would only be able to eat a small slice, anyhow; she has a rather sensitive palate and can’t stomach many foods.”

Despite saying this, Deni was already fixing her purse on her shoulder. “It’d only take me fifteen-ish minutes, Nina,” she said. “Besides, I feel like you need some alone time with your daughter. To talk to her.”

Nina sighed. “You’re right,” she said. “Go get a cake. By the time you come back, Holle and I will probably be done talking.”

Deni nodded her head, bidding her goodbye with a pat on the forearm. A few minutes after Deni had left, Holle burst from her room with a pirouette. She sported a flamboyantly puffy dress that looked ill-suited for a girl appearing in her teens. The taffeta and mesh abomination was matched with an innumerable amount of necklaces about the Frei’s neck and a glittery tiara that exclaimed “Happy birthday!” on her head. Nina winced, immediately knowing who had bought everything for her.

Remi and I have to have a discussion about buying Holle clothes, she thought. Because Remi’s tastes are dreadful.

“Ta-daaa! What do you think, mama? Don’t I—huh?” Holle glanced about the apartment. “Mama, where’s Deni? Did she go?”

“Deni went to pick up a cake,” Nina said, beckoning her over to the kitchen table.

“Oh!” Holle’s eyes glittered as she hovered to her seat. “That’s so kind of her! Do I actually get to eat cake today, mama? Are you sure it’s okay?”

“It’s fine,” Nina said, popping the container of blackberries open and chewing on a few. “Since it’s your birthday, I’ll make an exception.”

Holle clapped her hands together. “This birthday couldn’t get any better,” she said. However, upon catching the serious glint to Nina’s eye, Holle straightened in her seat. “Is something wrong, mama?”

Nina swallowed her mouthful of blackberries. “Nothing’s wrong, but there is something I wanted to discuss with you,” she said. “It’s the reason why I brought Deni over today.”

Holle puffed out her bottom lip. “It wasn’t for my birthday?”

“I never said it was.”

“Oh. Right. You didn’t…” Holle deflated. “Then what was the reason?”

Nina drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She honestly would’ve preferred admitting her relationship with Deni with her by her side, but at the same time, being forthright with Holle as her parent felt like the best option. Nina rolled about the multitude of ways she could reveal the truth to the Frei, but there was only one way to go about it—just being honest.

“Holle, I brought Deni here today because we’re, ah”—she cleared her throat—“we’re… Holle, I brought Deni here today because—”

“Are you two together, mama?” Holle widened her eyes when she said this, the sparkle to them undeniably brilliantly. When Nina didn’t readily say anything, Holle stretched across the kitchen table and grabbed her hand again with both of her own. “Are you, mama? Are you two dating? Did you finally tell Deni how you feel?”

The very insinuation, despite being true, had Nina choking as she flushed redder and redder. Taking this as a confirmation, Holle flung herself across the table and captured Nina in a tight embrace. She babbled delightedly in Nina’s ear before shoving herself back and shaking her by the shoulders mirthfully.

“Mama, that’s fantastic!” Holle cried. “I knew you could do it! You have to tell me all about it! Was it as romantic as they make it out to be? With soft music, and blooming flowers, and pretty pink fog and bubbles, and—”

Nina narrowed her eyes. “Remi’s been giving you anime to watch, hasn’t she?”

“N-no…”

“Holle.”

“O-okay, fine! She has! But she says it’s unfair that you won’t let me.”

“That’s because you let your imagination get the better of you when you do. Such as now. That isn’t how it happened.”

Holle harrumphed. “It would’ve been nice if it did,” she said. “I could imagine it like that—”

“Please don’t,” Nina said, ducking her head. “I just asked her after school one day, told her I was tired of just drinking coffee with her. She agreed and that’s that. Not as romantic as you might’ve expected.”

Holle chagrined. “That’s boring,” she said. “I think you deserve one of those really heartfelt romances—like in the movies. At least with the very pretty music!”

“I’m not much for such sappy things,” Nina replied. “Anyway, that’s what I wanted to tell you, Holle. You… took it better than I expected.”

Holle crossed arms across her chest. “You thought I’d be upset or something?” she said. “You should know me by now, mama! I’m not going to be mad at you when I was the who said you should be happy!”

“That’s, that’s very true,” Nina amended. “It’s just, you’re my kid, Holle. You’ve had my undivided attention everyday for a year. Now you’d have to share it with Deni. You sure that won’t be a problem?”

Holle was quiet for a beat, but she suddenly shook her head. “It won’t be a problem, mama,” she said. “I’m not a kid anymore. I’m finally a year old. That means I’ve matured. I’m an adult now.”

Nina laughed. “You’re not quite an adult yet,” she said. “You have changed though, Holle. Gotten much more mature. I’m proud of you, sweetie.”

Holle swayed in place. “Thank you, mama,” she said. “Though I will admit, I do feel a little bad. We won’t get to spend as much time as we used to together.”

“We three can always go out together,” Nina said. “I’m sure Deni would be fine with that.”

“Okay,” Holle said. “Now that Deni is your, um—”

“Girlfriend.” Admitting it out loud had Nina reddening yet again.

“Right, girlfriend. Now that Deni is your girlfriend, should I call her something?” Holle’s eyes drifted up to the ceiling in thought. “Should I call her mama, too? Mommy? Mother? Mom?”

“A-ah, sweetie. I don’t think—”

Just as Nina said this, the apartment door opened, and Deni entered. Holle darted her eyes to her when the woman held up the boxed cake, bouncing out of her seat and flinging her arms about Deni’s shoulders.

“Mama Two!” Holle cheered. “Welcome back!”

Deni shot a bewildered look between Holle and Nina upon being called thus. “Nina, what’s this about?” she mouthed to the brunette.

“I’ll explain later,” she returned.

“C’mon, c’mon, open the box, get the cake out,” Holle urged as she pulled Deni inside. “It’s my birthday, after all!”

Deni obliged her, dragging the Frei along with her to the table. “Yes, yes,” she said, giving a small laugh. “It sure is.”

 

[radish]

The sudden firm hold on her shoulder made her wings flutter from a start. “We’re gonna hang out,” Noah said. “Let’s go.”

Holle huffed at him, shaking his hand loose. “Why?” she asked, puffing out her cheeks. “I’m fine here. At home. Where I want to be.”

Noah glanced to Nina and Deni behind the kitchen counter, their conversation relegated to soft, terse whispers. Reading the atmosphere, his eyes landed back on Holle in tandem with his hand on her forearm, now dragging her out of the apartment. “C’mon. We’re gonna go.”

Despite the Frei’s protests, Noah shifted his chin over his shoulder and called, “Holle and I are gonna take a walk, Nina. See you in a bit.” She flashed him an awkward smile in gratitude before returning to her conversation with Deni.

The two reached the sidewalk outside the apartment before Holle jerked hastily away from him. She curled hands into fists and puffed out her cheeks in a bubble of anger, but when Noah shoved hands in his pockets and began to traipse away, Holle’s dissatisfaction was quick to dissipate as she trailed after him.

“What was that for, Noah?” she asked, floating into step with him. “I was going to read a book!”

Noah rolled his eyes at her. “You can’t be that oblivious, Holle,” he said. “Couldn’t you tell Nina and Deni wanted to be alone?”

Holle blinked. “They did? Didn’t seem like that way to me.”

“They did.”

“But they were just talking!”

“Yes, but it was a sensitive topic—whatever it was. They obviously have a lot to work out.”

Holle hummed in thought. “I don’t know why they need to be alone to talk about something,” she said. “It changes nothing whether we’re there or not.”

“It’s, it’s just—damn it.” Noah rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s just a thing, okay, Holle? People who’re in love need privacy. Between themselves. You wouldn’t understand.”

Holle harrumphed. “You’re right, I don’t,” she said, floating ahead. The wind caught under her shawl, whipping up the transparent fabric. “Love—romantic love—is such a weird thing. I don’t think about it at all.”

Noah gave pause with a blink. “Really?”

“Mhm.”

“You’ve never felt that way, ever?”

“Never ever.”

“But all of the—”

“I read those kinds of books, sure, but it’s not like I have an interest in them. The romantic part, I mean,” Holle said. “I do feel things, but different things. For like mama. Or Gretchen. I like them. They’re my favorite people.”

“Oi—”

“But I don’t like-like them.”

Noah’s lips drew to a thin line across his face. His cast his eyes over the railing to the river beyond; his aimless wandering with Holle having taken them both to the bridge crossing nearest the apartment. “H-how do you even like Grazie, anyway?” he asked. “Haven’t you only met her once?”

Holle’s lips drew open to a wide smile. “Nope!” she chirped. “We’ve met up tons of times. She even comes to Barton to meet up with me. She’s super, super cool.”

“How did you two even get so close?”

“She gave me her number, remember?” As if to emphasize this, Holle pulled up her contacts, and shoved her phone in Noah’s face. “She texts me a lot.”

The familiar line of numbers made him frown. “So, you really—”

“No, Noah,” Holle said, bumping her shoulder against his. “I really don’t like her that way. Promise. She’s just a good friend.”

“Hmph.”

“So, you don’t have any competition. She’s all yours.”

Noah choked back his retort; a flush burnishing even the tips of his ears red. “W-what would you know?” he said. “You don’t understand love.”

“You’re right,” Holle said. “Doesn’t mean I can’t tease those who do!”

The Frei pushed at him with strength Noah thought impossible of her. Yet, his hold on the crossing’s railing barely had him budging. “Y’know, Holle,” Noah said, “you’ve changed.”

Holle tilted her head. “I have?”

“In subtle ways, yea,” he said. “Before, you were, ah, you were more of a kid.”

“I’m only a year old, Noah,” Holle said. “Even if I think I’m old-ish, you would still think of me as a kid.”

“I mean, you are, but like—” Noah furrowed his brow, searching his thoughts to better explain himself. “Okay, like, you’ve matured more in a year than what a regular human kid would mature in say, six.”

“Well, I’m not human, Noah. You know that.” Holle wiggled her ribbon half at him. “It’s kind of obvious.”

Noah rolled his eyes. “You’re not giving me a chance to explain,” he said.

“Then, explain yourself better.”

“Forget it. J-just forget it.” Noah slumped forward on the railing, burrowing his face into the nest made by his arms. “Do you even like me?”

Holle puffed out her bottom lip. “I don’t like-like people, Noah.”

“Not like that, Holle. Gods.” He shifted one eye open to her, crinkled from a glare. “When you were young—er, younger—I honestly thought you didn’t like me. Didn’t tolerate me. Like, at all. Do you still feel that way?”

“Yea,” Holle said. “I mean, I didn’t like you. I thought you thought I was weird.”

“I still think you’re weird.”

“Yea, but I mean, othering weird. It was as if you wanted to have nothing to do with me.”

Noah rose, pursing his lips. “Actually, yea, I kinda didn’t…”

“I picked up on that,” Holle said. “It’s why I didn’t like you. Who wants to be thought of as weird?” Her eyes drifted up to the cerulean sky in thought, before she added, “As I thought about it, though, I figured it was okay.”

Noah frowned. “You just accepted it?”

“No,” Holle said. “It’s more like I thought you had the capability to be a better person. I thought you could change.” The Frei tapped an app on her phone and began to fiddle with it. “I think people are good, Noah. Good people can change, so everyone’s capable of change.”

“That’s… very mature of you, Holle,” Noah said.

Holle giggled. “Really?” she said. “That sounds like something mama would say.”

“I bet she has already.”

“Yep,” Holle said. “Tons of times.”

Noah’s lips pulled back into a small smile. “How goes it with school?” he asked. “Aren’t you gonna start soon?”

Holle shook her head. “Not yet,” she said. “Mama has been homeschooling me, but it’s only basic stuff. She hasn’t arranged anything with Magnolia Academy yet.”

“Don’t you want to go?”

“Of course!” Holle cried. “I’m so eager to start school, but mama doesn’t trust me yet. Well, my powers. She doesn’t trust my powers yet. They’re coming in slowly.”

“You still hear plants?” Noah asked.

“Sometimes,” Holle said. “It drifts, but I do hear them. Feel them. It’s weird. I’m tired when I’m not around plants, either. Maybe it’s a side effect…”

“Maybe.”

A silence lapsed between the two, the winds cascading over the river beyond bringing with it a salty-sweet tang. Holle, distracted by her phone, broke from her concentration to catch Noah overtaken by some faraway thought. She bumped against him lightly again, if only to beckon his attention back to their company.

“Hey, mama says I’m really bad at math,” she said. “Are you good at math, Noah?”

“I’m decent,” he said.

“Then, tutor me,” Holle said. “Help me with long division.”

Noah let out a small huff of laughter. “Fine,” he said, reaching a hand up to muss up Holle’s already unkempt locks. “I’ll help you out.”

Holle slapped his hand away with a grunt. “Good!” she cried. “Because I really need all of the help I can get!”

 

[radish]

Holle always found the name, Roland’s Assortment of Magical Ingredients, ill-fitting for the shop. While it did have a back section with all manner of odd and dried out bits collected from various flora and fauna, approximately eighty-percent of the store was potions brewed by Roland alone. Holle also didn’t know what eighty-percent of those potions did, save the ones with obvious labels like “antidotes,” “love potions,” “ethers,” and “laxatives.”

Holle floated before one shelf and tapped at a glass vial halfway filled with some kind of amber goo. At once, the contents retched back at the sound, curving up as if to frown at her sudden rudeness. Her eyes sparkled in awe, but the enthusiasm was short-lived when Gretchen called to her.

“C’mon, Holle, what did I tell you about poking at things?” she said, scanning eyes to a clipboard in hand and checking off one of the listed items. “If something happens or you make a mess, Roland will take it out on me.”

The warning was a repeated scolding from Gretchen, even if the Frei couldn’t help her curiosity. Ever since Nina loosened considerably, Holle was allowed further from the house—even learning to take the bus. She quickly learned the route to Durem, and would travel to and fro from it and Barton to meet with Gretchen to hang out. This was usually during her work hours, but due to the frequent absence of her boss, neither she nor Holle were reprimanded during her shift.

“Ohhh, but I can’t help it!” Holle cried. “They’re all so interesting! I’ve never heard of any of these. Like, what does a Draught of Deliriousness do? Or a Flask of Efficiency? Or, or this one—who is Mulder and why do they have a potion named after them? I really want to know!”

Gretchen blinked at her. “Well, your guess is as good as mine,” she said. “I just pack the shelves and work the register. I have no interest in finding out.”

Holle puffed out her bottom lip. “Really?” she asked. “You don’t find any of this interesting?”

“It is interesting,” Gretchen said. “I mean, of course it’s interesting. Look at the variety potions a potion maker can make. It’s endless!” She clicked her tongue. “It simply doesn’t interest me.”

Holle hummed in thought. “Then, what does interest you, Gretchen?” The Frei floated up beside her and tilted her head. “You’ve told me a bit about yourself, but not about your interests or hobbies.”

Gretchen shrugged a shoulder, checking off another item on her clipboard. “I don’t really have any,” she said. “I guess, work? Work is really all I think about.”

Holle frowned. “Seriously? Nothing at all?”

Gretchen shook her head. “Nope,” she said. “Don’t really have the time to think, let alone spend the time entertaining, interests or hobbies when I’m trying to pay for rent, or food, or, well, just living.”

Holle floated back from her, suddenly overcome with a bit of shame. Never before had the Frei considered how lucky she had it, since Nina paid for everything. Conceiving of the idea of working bothered her when she didn’t even know of what it entailed. All she knew that it was stressful. Very, very stressful.

Her awkwardness had her grabbing at a sack placed down by the shelf Gretchen worked at. Empty glass vials clattered together as the Frei hefted it up and began to float off to the entrance. “I’m, I’m going to take these out to the recycle bin!” Holle said as she flitted away. Her reply was a distant, “Thanks!” from Gretchen before the Herald returned to her work.

Situated next to a laundromat, the side alley where both the trash and recycle bins were held a strong, heady chemical smell. Holle wrinkled her nose at the stench, finding it almost dizzying. Knowing of her sensitivity to such things, the Frei wanted nothing more than to dump the sack into its proper receptacle and leave, but found herself stiffened at the sight of another person in the alley.

Crouched on the little stoop before the side entrance to the shop was a young boy. He had his head buried in his arms, small sobs wracking his body with a tremble. Holle wasn’t sure how old he was, but guessed him to be around twelve to thirteen years of age. A tremor passed through her as his cries grew louder, so she tentatively placed the sack of vials down by the recycle bin and approached him.

“Hey,” she called to him. “Are you, um, okay?”

When the boy looked to her, his eyes were red-rimmed and puffy; his short-cropped locks sticking to his wet cheeks. Scrubbing at his nose and giving a sharp sniffle, the boy said, “I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me. You can leave me alone.”

Holle frowned. “I just can’t leave you while you’re crying,” she said. “You can tell me what’s wrong.”

“I said, it’s nothing. Mind your own business,” the boy snapped.

Holle puffed out her cheeks. “Well! I don’t know who taught you manners, but they did a terrible job.” She folded arms across her chest and nodded her chest twice. “I’m not going to leave now, so you’re stuck with me until you tell me what’s wrong.”

The boy glared at her. “Leave me alone!”

“Not going to happen!”

It was childish of her, Holle knew that, but she was adamant about finding out what was wrong. Even if she couldn’t come up with a solution to the boy’s situation, at least she could offer some comfort. Yet, the boy refused to say another word to her. They mired in a tenacious silence between them until it was interjected by the presence of Gretchen exiting the store.

“Holle, something wrong?” the Herald asked as she approached. “You were taking a while, so I came out here to check on—oh.” Her eyebrows rose as she looked to the boy. “Someone you know?”

Holle shook her head. “No, I just found him here. Crying.” The boy glared at her again. “He won’t tell me what’s wrong.”

Gretchen laughed lightly. “Well, of course not,” she said. “You’re a stranger to him.”

“But—”

“Let me.” Gretchen moved passed the Frei and seated herself on the stoop next to the boy. “My name’s Gretchen,” she said to him as he inched away from her. “Yours?”

The boy pursed her lips before turning his head fully away from both of them. Holle huffed at his rudeness, but after a long beat, finally said, “Kizoku. My name’s Kizoku, but don’t call me that. I’m fin with just Ki. Or Kay. Key. Just not… Kizoku.”

Gretchen smiled. “Okay then, Ki it is,” she said. “What’re you doing here, Ki? Is something wrong?”

Kizoku averted his eyes. “Nothing’s wrong,” he said. “I just wanted someplace to sit.”

“And cry?”

“N-no! J-just to sit…”

Gretchen hummed in thought. “So, the crying came afterward.”

Kizoku pursed his lips again. “I guess…”

“Mm. Well, y’know, Ki, I know you aren’t familiar with either of us”—she gestured to Holle as she said this—“but if there’s something on your mind, we’d be willing to listen.” The Frei nodded twice to confirm this.

The boy’s cheeks reddened from anger. “I said there was nothing wrong!”

“Easy, easy,” Gretchen said. “You did say that, yes, but it’s a reassurance for another time. If there is something bothering you.”

“There won’t be.”

“Okay then. That’s fair.”

Gretchen leaned back on her hand and considered the dreary strip of sky above. Holle’s eyes followed hers, a passing thought considering the possibility of rain. With the Herald there, the Frei was comforted somewhat. Had it’d been only her to diffuse the situation, she was positive she would’ve just made the situation worse.

“Ki, if you ran away from home or something, you can stay here.” Gretchen’s voice again had Holle shifting her attention back to her. “For a bit, at least. I can call the police station—”

Kizoku’s eyes widened before he shifted uncomfortably. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yea. You don’t. I didn’t run from anywhere.”

“Okay,” Gretchen said. “If you prefer, I can call your guardian or an adult you trust and let them know you’re here.”

Kizoku jolted to his feet. “I said I didn’t run from anywhere!” he cried.

Gretchen’s brows furrowed. Despite her even tone, there was a hint of concern in her voice. “If you’re reacting that way, I can’t help but think you did,” she said. “You should be someplace safe, Ki. Not, not here.”

“T-then, I don’t want to be here either!”

It was this reply that drove the nail in. Kizoku’s feet stomped against the alleyway as he raced down its length, not once turning back to look at the Herald and Frei. Holle’s outstretched hand barely was a gesture to stop him, but once he was gone, she frowned at Gretchen.

“Gretchen!” she cried. “We have to stop him!”

“No, no. Let him go,” she said. “He’ll be back.”

Holle blinked at her. “What do you mean?” she asked.

“I just remembered,” Gretchen said. “Roland had mentioned someone would be coming to live with them in the next few weeks. They asked me to keep an eye out for his arrival. That’s… probably who they were talking about.”

“I see,” Holle said. Her eyes drifted to the sidewalk beyond the alleyway, her face tense. “Why’d he run away like that? Weren’t you just trying to help him?”

“I probably crossed a line,” Gretchen said. “It’s my fault, don’t worry.” As she stood and passed by Holle, she cupped her shoulder and gave it a small squeeze. “I’ll tell Roland what happened later. Let’s get back inside, yea? We’re probably going to get a customer soon.”

“R-right, right,” Holle said, nodding her head.

She floated after Gretchen as both of them reentered the store. Yet, despite assisting her, the Frei couldn’t take her mind off Kizoku.

Just who was he?

…And why was he crying?

 

[radish]

Holle didn’t like asking Nina for money. Her guardian had no problem giving her whatever amount she requested (as long as it was reasonable, of course), but considering she hadn’t earned it herself, the Frei was reluctant to ask. Especially now, when she was given the freedom to take the bus to and from Barton as she pleased.

On the one day Noah visited, Holle bugged him until he gave in to drive her up there. This, surprisingly, didn’t take long—she only had to remain persistent for an hour. For once, it was the Frei dragging him out of the apartment, not the other way around. Nina bid them off with a small wave; her mind completely taken by her Sudoku book.

Noah ground his feet to the asphalt just as he reached the parking lot with Holle, causing her to smoosh into his back. He rolled his eyes at her as he said, “Would you give me a chance? All of this rush isn’t going to get us any quicker to Barton.”

“We’d be there by now if you stop talking. Let’s go!”

Noah quirked a brow at her. “Why are you so eager, anyway?”

Holle pulled back from him, eyes sparkling. “I’ve got a present for Gretchen!” She reached into her tote and produced a lovingly wrapped gift in green. “She texted me about never having good books to read, so I picked out three of my favorites and decided to gift them to her. Just as a, say, thank you for being for being my friend. Is that weird?”

Noah shook his head. “Nah, I don’t think its weird. I’m sure she’ll love it. Now, come on.” He beckoned her along, keys jangling as he threw them up and down. “Let’s get a move on.”

Holle furrowed her brow at Noah as she floated after him. “That’s a complete change in mood,” she said. “What? Did you have to know why I wanted to go to Barton in the first place before you took me there?”

Noah grinned at her. “Precisely,” he said.

Holle huffed. “Poophead,” she said.

“It’s what you get for bothering me for an hour,” he said. “Keep that up though, and I won’t take you anywhere.”

Holle gawked nervously. “S-sorry!” she cried, floating after him faster. “I promise I won’t do it again!”


🌱


Considering it was midafternoon on a weekday, activity was nonexistent in Roland’s Assortment of Magical Ingredients. Gretchen informed her of this; unless it was the weekend or a week before finals for potions students, it was rare to find customers within. Granted, it was one of the things Gretchen liked about the place—the lack of people.

As Noah and Holle entered, the only sound to greet them was the jingle of the entrance bell. Noah’s eyes took in the shop as Holle’s patience wore thin; she zipped in passed him and made for the cash register in the back of the shop.

“Gretcheeen!” she called. “Noah and I came to see you! Are you here?”

Yet, the Herald was no where to be found. Instead, she found another figure manning the register—a dapper looking person without a head. A steady blue fog drifted up from the neck area, forming a little mote of surprise when Holle reached the counter.

“Oh, uh,” the Frei muttered, floating back a bit. “Who’re you?”

“I should be asking you that!”

Holle started at the unfamiliar voice, jerking her attention fully to her left. There, seated atop a small stack of books, was a head. Long, sand-colored hair was swept back and held loosely by a blue ribbon. Their face, though of indiscernible age, was brightened by a smile. Holle exchanged glances between the head and the body before approaching the former, curiousness brimming in her eyes.

“I’m Holle,” she said.

“Oh, well, hello!” the head said. “Gretchen has told me much about you. I’m Roland. I’m sure she’s mentioned me.”

“Ah!” The Frei’s eyes glittered. “It’s so good to finally meet you! You’re, like, never in your shop!” The corner of Roland’s mouth twitched at the mention of their absence. “Where’s Gretchen? Doesn’t she work today?”

Roland managed a shake of their head. “She called out, said she had some business to take care of,” they said. “Since I’m free for the next few days, I decided to tend to the shop myself.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, why are you never in your shop? Do you like vacations that much?”

Roland’s smile was gentle. “No, it’s all business-related,” they said. “I travel around the world collecting ingredients since I make all of the potions you see myself.” Holle glanced about the shop in awe when they said this. “Admittedly, I do feel awful leaving full responsibility of the shop to Gretchen in my stead, but with you here, I don’t have to worry as much. You’re here to keep her company.”

Holle blushed lightly. “She’s a good friend, so I’m glad to spend time with her,” she said. “You don’t have to thank me.”

Just then, Noah finally made his way to the back of the shop. He’d begun to say something, but gave pause when he saw Roland’s body manning the register and the head Holle conversed with. He suddenly backpedaled and yelped, preparing to flee the shop if necessary. The Frei blinked at him, clueless.

“What’s wrong?” she asked him.

“H-Holle, h-head, and the body, and the head—Holle.” Noah’s pointed finger switched between the two. “We have to get out of here!”

Holle gave him a blank look. “Noah, this is Roland,” she said. “Stop being rude.”

“W-wait, what?” he said. “You’re Roland?”

“That’s correct,” their head said. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Noah. Gretchen has told me quite a bit about you, too.”

Noah wasn’t sure if he should flush from the mention of the Herald or appear blue in the face from fear. “Yea, nice to, ah, meet you, too,” he said. “So I, uh, I just have to know,” he motioned to Roland’s body, “what are you?”

Holle frowned. “Noah!” she admonished.

“What?” he said. “I’m curious!”

“You, you don’t have to be so direct about it! Whatever Roland is is none of our business.”

“C’mon, Holle, they’re… they’re just a head!”

Holle flared her nostrils in anger. She all but shoved her ribbon half in his direction for emphasis, saying, “And I’m just a torso! I don’t see you finding qualms with me.”

Noah choked back his reply as the tension grew, but Roland’s voice managed to clear the air. “It’s fine,” they said coolly. “I don’t mind his curiosity, Holle.”

She looked to him. “Roland…”

“I’m a Dullahan,” they said. “I’m sure you’re familiar with them.”

While Holle nodded her head furiously, Noah scratched the back of his neck. Roland’s exchanged glances between the two of them had them smiling sheepishly.

“In the simplest terms, my head can be separated from my body.” Their body stepped away from the register to pick up their head from the stack of books. Roland fit it on, stoppering the blue smoke once leaking from their neck. “Or I can put it back on. For a time, anyway. If I fall, well, it would pop off.”

Holle’s eyes widened. “How convenient!” she cried. “Does that mean you can still control your body when it’s separated?”

Roland hummed in affirmation. “I find it more comfortable with my head off, but some people are unnerved by it.” They glanced to Noah who had averted his eyes throughout their whole demonstration. “So, I mostly do it when I’m alone. Had I been expecting you, I would’ve been presentable.”

Holle waved a dismissive hand. “It’s no problem, really. Noah here is just sensitive to everything. Don’t mind him.”

Noah huffed. “If you don’t change the topic right now, I’m not driving you home.”

Holle felt inclined to snark him, but knew his threat was halfway true. Rolling her eyes, Holle said, “Last time when I was here, I met a boy named Kizoku. Do you happen to know him, Roland?”

Noah elbowed her in her side as a sign to mind her own business, but she breezily ignored him.

“Ah, yes. Ki. He mentioned having met an “odd floating person.”” Holle puffed out her cheeks at the description. “I’ve recently taken him in, so he’ll be staying with me for a while. I’m sorry he was rude to you. However, considering his circumstances, I feel it is somewhat warranted; he was, more of less, thrown out of his home. I hope you can forgive him.”

“Of course I forgive him,” Holle said. “It’s only right.”

Noah could tell by the intention on the Frei’s face that she wanted to pry, so he gently stepped in and said, “Is he here now?”

Roland shook their head. “He’s away collecting more of his things. He’ll be gone the rest of the day.”

“Then later?”

“Ki probably wouldn’t want any company after that. He’s still adjusting since he not only had to leave his family behind, but his friends, too.”

Holle’s eyes wavered. “You mean he has no friends?”

“No one he can turn to at the moment, no.”

Suddenly, Holle slapped hands on the countertop and leaned forward. The force of her determination had Roland leaning back. “I can be his friend!” she cried. “No, I will be his friend! No one deserves to be alone!”

Roland smiled gently at the Frei. “I know you mean well, Holle, but please give him time. He’ll warm up to the idea of friends eventually.”

“Yes, but—”

“You’ll be a good friend to him when the moment comes, Holle,” Noah said. He clasped a hand on her shoulder and drew her back. “Just give him time.”

“O-okay,” Holle said, puffing out her bottom lip.

Had she known Kizoku’s circumstances, she would’ve been gentler with him in the alleyway. However, she internally made amends, and promised to become friends with him—no matter what.

We’re going to be the best of friends! she thought. I know it!