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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2015 6:23 am
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So I've been dating this guy long distance(he lives 11 hours away) for about a month now, and in the beginning, things were perfect.
We talked for weeks before he asked me to be his girlfriend, and of course I said yes.
We were falling hard for each other, talking almost every day as much as possible, since he worked.
But now...
We barely talk anymore, since he's literally almost always at work. I jokingly asked about it, and he said he'd rather work than stay home and be bored.
I kinda agreed and didn't mind...until I realized that meant 0 communication for us.
He did not talk to me at all last week, and what little was said, was that he was working and was having phone problems.
I feel like I'm being pushy and selfish, contacting every day with no reply whatsoever.
And due to the lack of talking, I can't help but feel that the spark we had is gone.
Do you think he's lost interest? Should I break up with him?
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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2015 9:22 am
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I don't think you're being pushy or selfish wanting to talk to him. That isn't too much to ask from someone. Your relationship is long distance, reality is that communication is the bulk of what you have. You can't just visit him whenever you want, you two can't go out together here and there, you need to be able to talk because without that there isn't much else going on. Keep in mind, you don't need to talk a whole bunch every day, sometimes that can be too much for someone, but if he's too busy to talk to you for a whole week then that's a problem. Especially when he was so talkative before and now all of a sudden that isn't the case. If something's changed then you're allowed to ask what's up about that. You shouldn't have to wait that long for a half decent conversation, and you didn't even really get that.
I can't say if this means he's lost interest, and I don't think you necessarily have to break up right this second, but you definitely have to get it through to him how you feel about this. Let him know that while you understand that he would rather work than be home, that also cuts into the time you have to speak to him and the lack of communication is really going to hurt the relationship on your end. You don't need to have long conversations every day, but waiting a week for him to even reply is too much. If he's not really willing to listen or understand your stance on this, then that would likely be the time to separate.
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Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2015 7:30 am
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Yokies I don't think you're being pushy or selfish wanting to talk to him. That isn't too much to ask from someone. Your relationship is long distance, reality is that communication is the bulk of what you have. You can't just visit him whenever you want, you two can't go out together here and there, you need to be able to talk because without that there isn't much else going on. Keep in mind, you don't need to talk a whole bunch every day, sometimes that can be too much for someone, but if he's too busy to talk to you for a whole week then that's a problem. Especially when he was so talkative before and now all of a sudden that isn't the case. If something's changed then you're allowed to ask what's up about that. You shouldn't have to wait that long for a half decent conversation, and you didn't even really get that.
I can't say if this means he's lost interest, and I don't think you necessarily have to break up right this second, but you definitely have to get it through to him how you feel about this. Let him know that while you understand that he would rather work than be home, that also cuts into the time you have to speak to him and the lack of communication is really going to hurt the relationship on your end. You don't need to have long conversations every day, but waiting a week for him to even reply is too much. If he's not really willing to listen or understand your stance on this, then that would likely be the time to separate. Thank you so much, that was very helpful! I'll tell him how I feel and give him a week or so to respond. If nothing, then I guess I'll end it. Again, thanx.
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