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Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 2:29 am
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 10:24 pm
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Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2014 9:59 pm
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It's important for my primary's other partner(s) be someone I can be friends with- not close friends, but we need to be able to get along well enough to a) work together when needed, and b) have a frank discussion if something's not right. Likewise, if I have a secondary who has a primary partner, I'd like to know I can talk to them if I need to - as Facebook friends, if nothing else.
I'm a firm believer in all-partners-are-important, and firmly against typical primary rules like the veto, and firmly in favor of respect and working together to make sure everyone's needs are met and no one is getting trampled on. I'm also a firm believer in the 'open door' policy - if a metamour has a problem with me, I want them to be able to come to me about it rather than using our shared partner as a go-between.
Do I need to *like* my metamours? No, not really. I wouldn't veto them even if I hated them; I would bring up any concerns to my partner, for sure, but unless they're harming my partner (without consent) or they're intentionally attacking our relationship, I do my best to avoid meddling... because secondaries are people, too - not just toys to be disposed of when they don't suit our purposes. They deserve respect just like anyone does. (Mind - things that do affect me, like living situations, I absolutely need to like them... but this also goes for roomies, so is not strictly a poly thing.
I'm not too concerned about secondary partners' other secondary partners - mostly because that opens a can of scheduling worms I'm not quite willing to open.
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Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2014 10:58 pm
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Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2014 6:24 pm
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