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 Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 2:28 pm
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 2:34 pm
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 3:08 pm
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Exactly! That's exactly what I like to say--they're for soup cans and cereal boxes, not people!
That's actually one of the reasons why I'm having a hard time coming out to my parents. I mean, I know that they are both perfectly okay with homosexuality, bisexuality, and etc. but it bothers me that I don't even know how to begin to describe it. "Mom, I might possibly have a girlfriend someday. I mean, I'm not lesbian or bisexual but I might have a girlfriend." would leave her utterly confused since she's the type of person who needs labels. And she very loosely understands pansexuality so explaining it to her would be just as confusing as saying the above. As for my dad... Though he isn't homophobic or anything, he's very skeptical of it. I mean, he's totally okay with girls being attracted to girls and guys being attracted to guys but it just seems like a very foreign thing to him. So the "well... I don't know what I am but I could be this." would also leave him utterly confused since he also knows very little about the LGBTQ+ community. So I'm sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place with this whole label thing since LGBTQ+ stuff is very new to my parents and pansexuality would take a great deal of explaining. *sigh*
Oh, yeah I've gotten into weird arguments with others about "figuring it out" and all of that. I mean, I think it's great that people want to find others they can identify with and do so by calling themselves a thing but it's become such an "important" thing that it's like it's forced on people. It's the same sort of thing about my gender. I'm genderfluid, for the most part at least. I have a lot of different styles of clothing which generally range from dresses to fandom t-shirts. I'll wear whatever I'm in the mood for. Sometimes that's a nice dress with flats and sometimes that's my "Bowties Are Cool" shirt with a hoodie, rainbow suspenders, and jeans. I've been lectured again and again on who I need to choose been dressing like a boy and dressing like a girl and I'm just like "Pfff, Git da fuq outta ma face." |
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 3:24 pm
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Nerdy Oatmeal Exactly! That's exactly what I like to say--they're for soup cans and cereal boxes, not people! That's actually one of the reasons why I'm having a hard time coming out to my parents. I mean, I know that they are both perfectly okay with homosexuality, bisexuality, and etc. but it bothers me that I don't even know how to begin to describe it. "Mom, I might possibly have a girlfriend someday. I mean, I'm not lesbian or bisexual but I might have a girlfriend." would leave her utterly confused since she's the type of person who needs labels. And she very loosely understands pansexuality so explaining it to her would be just as confusing as saying the above. As for my dad... Though he isn't homophobic or anything, he's very skeptical of it. I mean, he's totally okay with girls being attracted to girls and guys being attracted to guys but it just seems like a very foreign thing to him. So the "well... I don't know what I am but I could be this." would also leave him utterly confused since he also knows very little about the LGBTQ+ community. So I'm sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place with this whole label thing since LGBTQ+ stuff is very new to my parents and pansexuality would take a great deal of explaining. *sigh* Oh, yeah I've gotten into weird arguments with others about "figuring it out" and all of that. I mean, I think it's great that people want to find others they can identify with and do so by calling themselves a thing but it's become such an "important" thing that it's like it's forced on people. It's the same sort of thing about my gender. I'm genderfluid, for the most part at least. I have a lot of different styles of clothing which generally range from dresses to fandom t-shirts. I'll wear whatever I'm in the mood for. Sometimes that's a nice dress with flats and sometimes that's my "Bowties Are Cool" shirt with a hoodie, rainbow suspenders, and jeans. I've been lectured again and again on who I need to choose been dressing like a boy and dressing like a girl and I'm just like "Pfff, Git da fuq outta ma face."
Hmm that's a tough one to explain...
When I 'came out' to my dad i just said "dad i don't think i'm entirely straight'
in which he replied 'what does that mean, then?'
'it means i could possibly like a boy, girl, girl who wants to be a boy, girl who is now a boy, boy who wants to be a girl, or a boy who is now a girl. i could like anyone'
and he seemed to take that well enough :3
maybe you could try something similar with your parents if you feel like you need to tell them something solid.
As for gender identity.. i think you should do whatever feels right to you day to day. <3
i wish people weren't such douchecanoes about these things.. |
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2014 7:59 pm
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PunkyHeart_Vampire Nerdy Oatmeal Exactly! That's exactly what I like to say--they're for soup cans and cereal boxes, not people! That's actually one of the reasons why I'm having a hard time coming out to my parents. I mean, I know that they are both perfectly okay with homosexuality, bisexuality, and etc. but it bothers me that I don't even know how to begin to describe it. "Mom, I might possibly have a girlfriend someday. I mean, I'm not lesbian or bisexual but I might have a girlfriend." would leave her utterly confused since she's the type of person who needs labels. And she very loosely understands pansexuality so explaining it to her would be just as confusing as saying the above. As for my dad... Though he isn't homophobic or anything, he's very skeptical of it. I mean, he's totally okay with girls being attracted to girls and guys being attracted to guys but it just seems like a very foreign thing to him. So the "well... I don't know what I am but I could be this." would also leave him utterly confused since he also knows very little about the LGBTQ+ community. So I'm sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place with this whole label thing since LGBTQ+ stuff is very new to my parents and pansexuality would take a great deal of explaining. *sigh* Oh, yeah I've gotten into weird arguments with others about "figuring it out" and all of that. I mean, I think it's great that people want to find others they can identify with and do so by calling themselves a thing but it's become such an "important" thing that it's like it's forced on people. It's the same sort of thing about my gender. I'm genderfluid, for the most part at least. I have a lot of different styles of clothing which generally range from dresses to fandom t-shirts. I'll wear whatever I'm in the mood for. Sometimes that's a nice dress with flats and sometimes that's my "Bowties Are Cool" shirt with a hoodie, rainbow suspenders, and jeans. I've been lectured again and again on who I need to choose been dressing like a boy and dressing like a girl and I'm just like "Pfff, Git da fuq outta ma face." Hmm that's a tough one to explain...
When I 'came out' to my dad i just said "dad i don't think i'm entirely straight'
in which he replied 'what does that mean, then?'
'it means i could possibly like a boy, girl, girl who wants to be a boy, girl who is now a boy, boy who wants to be a girl, or a boy who is now a girl. i could like anyone'
and he seemed to take that well enough :3
maybe you could try something similar with your parents if you feel like you need to tell them something solid.
As for gender identity.. i think you should do whatever feels right to you day to day. <3
i wish people weren't such douchecanoes about these things..
Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I'll keep that in mind for when I muster up the courage to do so. Sometimes I sort of want to keep my family in the blissful false reality that I am straight so they don't feel pressured to fight with the Catholic-conservatives of my family about this. (Since I know that some of my cousins, uncles, possibly both or maybe just one of my aunts, and maybe my grandmother would make a stink about it but I've learned to not care about what they think. My mom and dad on the other hand... Not so much)
Lol, yeah people just like to slap labels on things. Stupid labels! scream That's what I normally do, I wear whatever feels right.
Yeah, I know right? I've always found it so odd that people are so terrified of the idea of love and finally figuring other out. I guess homophobia, transphobia, and all of that is just such a foreign concept to me that it's hard for me to understand being afraid of something so wonderful and nice, you know? It's frickin love! Love is great! Don't be scared of it! Ugh, some people... |
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Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 9:20 pm
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Nerdy Oatmeal Heyo lovelies. So, I'm not meaning to offend at all if this does end up causing any tension. But am I the only one who thinks that the pressure people/society puts on people to have a specific sexuality is sort of... stupid? Well, not exactly stupid but just odd and a little silly. Like the world just wants to be able to put people in little tiny boxes so that so-and-so goes here with all of the who's-a-what's and so on. This could just be me since I've always had a hard time figuring out what exactly my sexuality--and gender identity for that matter--is. I've told myself that "I'm this" and "I'm that" but none of them quite fit me right, you know? I've called myself pansexual currently just because a lot of people need a label so they can put me in one of the shiny little boxes called categories but, in all honesty... It doesn't fit it. Sure, I can say that I identify with it but I identify with a lot of sexuality labels as well. I identify with greysexual/asexual, sapiosexual, pansexual, and bisexual. So I've gotten to the point where I've decided that labels are weird and not exactly worth my time. Am I the only one who feels like that? Just curious.
I know I'm really late on this... and I mean REEEEALLY late, as the topic was made last July, but I agree with you guys completely. The main reason I don't want to come out to my parents-- or one of the reasons, is because I don't want to be categorized by a label. I don't want my parents looking at me, or people for that matter, and all they see is a big sign that says 'Hello-- my sexuality is lesbian!"
I know it seems dumb, and I shouldn't care what other people think.. But one of the reasons I do is because I'm autistic, super sensitive to what everyone feels about me, and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I tend to take things too personally. I don't want my parents just looking at me and seeing my sexuality, y'know? I came out to my best friend, and she was super supportive. But to know the parents that adopted me, who raised me, can't see the fact I'm happier with women and accept it. I don't know how to deal with that...
I tend to avoid the subject of sexualities with my parents, as they make religious remarks about it. They always say I'm confused, or going through a "phase" and I CANNOT STAND IT!
I'm sorry for rambling, I just needed to get that off my chest... |
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