it hurts when you have that moment
that moment when you realize that you can't remember the simplest, but yet the most important things about someone.
you can't hear their laugh in your head. you can't remember their voice, or quite what their face looked like anymore.
it happens when you least expect it to.
suddenly you just notice that someone who was such an important memory can barely be reached anymore by your mind.
ahhh, memory is such a fragile thing isn't it?


okay, so enough of that. I guess right now I just feel like some important people from my past are slipping from my memory and it sucks.
But I guess that's why it's best to live in the moment.
And speaking of the moment, there have been some good ones lately!
So yeah.
let's back up a bit because I haven't posted since the beginning of the month.
I got to go to a concert with my friends earlier this month. It was really exciting. We saw Demi Lovato, and also 5h/little mix opened for her!! I really love Little Mix, so that was so so so sooooo exciting.
And then later tat week we went to the mall and lunch.
I kinda started having nervous stomach issues again. (those are starting to become a pain, I don't know if I've posted about it before, so I'll put it in a spoiler)
It first happened in the fall. I had gone out to eat with my friends and I just felt really nauseous and couldn't really eat. I thought it was because people at our table had ordered seafood, which makes me nauseous to smell, but nope. It wasn't because the whole nausea thing lasted longer than just that one night.
Pretty much every meal that week had to be forced. I just felt sick all the time.
Just sick to my stomach, but I felt hungry and like I couldn't eat at the same time. It slowly went away (maybe like 5 days?)
But then a few weeks later it happened again.
Basically every time I go out to eat, or I eat anywhere that isn't my house I end up feeling like this, and the feeling always lasts several days.
It's uncomfortable and annoying and I don't understand what is happening to me or why...

Also this month everyone had spring break which was nice. I got to hang out with a bunch of my friends~
Then E started talking to me again??? He claims that he'll be moving back in the summer. We'll see how that goes. He also seemed a bit offended that I don't start conversations with him anymore? I sometimes wish I was better with just laying my cards on the table so I could tell him how I feel and that I don't want to put in effort here any more because he stopped putting in the effort first.
Buttttt also okay so there's this guy, we will introduce him as O. Alright, so this guy works kind of where I work, but also he goes to school, so he only works during vacations.
So I had talked to him a bit when he was home for winter break, and then last week when he was back for spring break he came in and talked to me a bunch, and also asked for my numberrrr
(my friend teased me that he was flirting with me, but I am really bad at these types of things so idk)
But yeah we've been texting, and he keeps telling me that I should go visit him at his school.
I don't really Know where this thing is going now, but we shall see right? I mean it could be good. And hey he's actually my age.
((I have this problem where usually I end up liking guys that are older than me oops. Actually though it used to be the opposite *coughcough*K*coughcough*))

oooooo~ I have also seem to have finally really gotten out of my art slump. It's been almost a year, which is scary.
Like I've been teetering on the edge for 10 months and just finally regained my balance.

Anyway, I think I am done for now with this post.
Things are going to just start getting weirder and probably more personal if I keep posting. lol