Leaf in the wind

[Lucas Moonrose]

I've not journaled in quite some time now and I feel the time is right to do so....

My life has been flipped, tossed around and thrown to the wind for the past few months. I've lost my job, my household and nearly everything that has left me feeling somewhat in control of my life.. Big things are moving in it seems, I'm trying, again, to get back into the spirit of things.


I've been depressed, angry at the world and myself... But I've been trying to see what I can do that will change all this...

I thought of trying my hand at Tarot again.. To help others and to help myself.

I've been drinking more tea lately, green. To help with Alpha wave production.

I've been talking a bit more to some of the other fellow EP members...

I've got a good lead on a job down at a Bar.. It seems like a good place to work, at least enjoyable.. I don't want to work factory... Last thing I need is a dead end job that pays loads of money but no time to enjoy said profit.. I told Tim... "I'd rather force Poverty on myself if it means I can enjoy life." Once We get a place again... Jobs... I'm going to start my herbs.. See what I can do, see what I can research.. Maybe once I get the ball Rolling in that dirrection.. I can keep moving..

Good night everyone.

 

[Lucas Moonrose]

There have been a lot of things that I notice I do... When people suggest something to me and I can feel/assume hostility from it. I'd rather walk in the other direction...

I feel like Tim's dad is doing nothing but targeting me with all his frustration... He's bothered that I've not found a job yet, even annoyed that I'm refusing Factory jobs...

He doesn't get it.. That I have choices.. That I can chose my path..

I notice how boxed in he is.. When he drinks he's less tied up.. happier.. No one should need that to release themselves..

Wish me luck.. I'm going to look for kitchen jobs.