A Record of zOMG Warfare

[BF-dragontshd-40]

On one wonderful evening I found an old notebook in my bookcase. I don't know how it got there. It has no name or any indication of the owner, except that it is written in bad penmanship with pencils. What is known from the entries is that the owner plays zOMG avidly and suffers extreme depression. It wouldn't be noteworthy to post it here, except that the last chapter was very, very strange. So I decided, why not? There is got to be a reason this notebook ended up on my bookcase...
Translation

I found a notebook on my bookcase while I was cleaning my room. It contains a story that I wrote years ago concerning zOMG. The narrator was apparently a psychic. So why not posted here? Transcribing the notebook will take some time...

[Mage The Red]

*Monitoring this thread*

[BF-dragontshd-40]

Entry #1

I want to throw a fundraiser for NASA, dammit.
This world sucks.
Sometimes I kinda wish this world is like the one in American dreams. Like the one where NASA is actually important. You know, where everyone is scientifically literate.
But alas I'd have to deal with flowers on the bike trail.
I was skydiving the week before. I think I am. I never had the money to buy a parachute or a plane. I don't know why I have the memories. Guess is some secret CIA experiment.
A lot of people say my name wrong. They call me the witch. They call me that ugly retarded girl around the block. I will show them once I get famous and work on a multi-million dollar project. At least I don't have to dealt with this on zOMG.
What is zOMG, you ask?
It is a MMO, or Massive Multiplayer Online game. Very addictive. Very simple. So simple that even a dog can play it. But it is also very, very hard. I heard that it takes a crew half a day in the early days to reach End Boss. I haven't reach End Boss yet. I don't know what it is like. I am steal farming my way to upgrade all my rings to Charge Level 10. For some reason my crews always kick me at the robofish cave...

[BF-dragontshd-40]

Entry #2

I was caught steal farming today. The crew leader threatened to ban me. So I leave Papa Saw and arrived at Golden Beach. I don't know why. But it is good!
A ring farming crew was there. They recrewt me as soon as I showed up. I don't know why. I guess it is because I have a very rich avatar, not very rich actually but made to be rich. Haha, I am a genius. The crew actually take me farther than robofish cave and into the room before End Boss. But they didn't go for the End Boss. Instead, they were "ring farming". They said it is the only way to get rings over Charge Level 10. So I got a beehive ring and it boosted my level to 11. So proud of myself.
It made me invincible. I wish rings were real in real life, especially Duct Tape. Then I could shut the mouth of the people who insulted me. SHUT THE ******** UP NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR OPINION. I am the god of this world and no one can stop me! End Boss HERE I COME!

[BF-dragontshd-40]

Entry #3

Today was a horrible day.
First when I return from school today my dad was fighting with my mom.
They smash quite a few dishes and my mom was drawing a knife. I saw some broken bottles on the ground and realize my dad was drinking again. I don't know why they are fighting, because as soon as I entered the house my mom was pointing the knife at me, saying how she should've abandon me when she found out I am mentally retarded and tries to cut my arm off. My dad held up a silly shield and tries to calm her down, but my mom said he's drinking too much and not a responsible person.
So I slip by and got to my room and stole my computer out to my friend's house.
Miami Kate was surprised to see me at her doorstep but she let me in. I explain that there is a murderer behind me and I need a hiding place. She let me in her guest room and give me the Internet password so I can log into zOMG.
And there is the second thing that made me mad.
My beehive ring was gone! Now I am back to charge level ten. I don't know why, but at least I was able to get to End Boss before it got taken away. The fight was very intense! It took a full hour to defeat End Boss. I was drinking really fast so I was not away from the computer for a long time and the server disconnect me. But the reward was rewarding and I got four recipes. It was great!
But back to the ring removal. I found out that there was an additional ring called "abuse". I don't know why it was there. I guess I was being bad and getting punished. But I didn't do anything bad. I was being very civilized and listened to everyone's opinion. I was never rude to anyone!
Why did I have the abuse ring?

Editor's note: Just here to say that the story was mostly fictional, but inspired by zOMG events.

[eliza_bunnypooh]

This is...Interesting

[BF-dragontshd-40]

Entry #4

I found out that the ring got removed because it is a GLITCH! No way! It seems so normal and all.
Anyone who didn't get the glitched rings got rewarded with a ring called "Integrity". I don't know what the word means but it seems godly.
I was sad and Kate come to see what happened. I explained that I didn't get Integrity and that prompt Kate to check her own zOMG account. She said she was a player before during Beta testing but give up after she defeated endboss. She was surprised to hear that there was glitched rings that grant player over 10 charge levels and told me about this instance called Deadman's Shadow that was supposed to extend player charge level into CL 11 and beyond but was never implanted because the developer left zOMG. This made me even madder because since Deadman's Shadow never get implanted players can't get over level ten so they have to seek other ways to get their level above 10. The developers should never removed the rings!
Kate agreed it is wrong because she never heard about the glitch so she couldn't get the rings, and if she had heard about the glitch she would have try it out.
Kate took me to the movies later that day. We watched a movie called "Monogatari of a Golden Mastiff". It is about a dog who saved his master but died himself. It was animated by Mad House and have character design by Noaki Urasawa. They were passing out his autograph at the theater and Kate was very excited because she's a long time fan.
We got back and Kate allowed me to PS on her account for a while.

[Aqueitas]

BF-dragontshd-40

Entry #4

I found out that the ring got removed because it is a GLITCH! No way! It seems so normal and all.
Anyone who didn't get the glitched rings got rewarded with a ring called "Integrity". I don't know what the word means but it seems godly.
I was sad and Kate come to see what happened. I explained that I didn't get Integrity and that prompt Kate to check her own zOMG account. She said she was a player before during Beta testing but give up after she defeated endboss. She was surprised to hear that there was glitched rings that grant player over 10 charge levels and told me about this instance called Deadman's Shadow that was supposed to extend player charge level into CL 11 and beyond but was never implanted because the developer left zOMG. This made me even madder because since Deadman's Shadow never get implanted players can't get over level ten so they have to seek other ways to get their level above 10. The developers should never removed the rings!
Kate agreed it is wrong because she never heard about the glitch so she couldn't get the rings, and if she had heard about the glitch she would have try it out.
Kate took me to the movies later that day. We watched a movie called "Monogatari of a Golden Mastiff". It is about a dog who saved his master but died himself. It was animated by Mad House and have character design by Noaki Urasawa. They were passing out his autograph at the theater and Kate was very excited because she's a long time fan.
We got back and Kate allowed me to PS on her account for a while.

whats entry number five

[BF-dragontshd-40]

Aqueitas

whats entry number five

Slowly transcribing the story, might take a while (read: months). Just be warned that there are certain scenes that are quite confusing.

[SilkyNums]

This is great! biggrin Keep em coming. 3nodding

[Aqueitas]

BF-dragontshd-40

Aqueitas

whats entry number five

Slowly transcribing the story, might take a while (read: months). Just be warned that there are certain scenes that are quite confusing.

Oh come on i am dying to know the next one. is this factual or are you making this stuff up. i don't really care it is amazing i hope it ends well. A happy ending with something good. How long until the next one i know months or weeks but a date so i can check.

[BF-dragontshd-40]

Entry #5

Grandma came and pick me up. She took me to her house down in San Francisco. My dad was there too, but he leave as soon as he saw me. I don't know why. At least I have my computer over and can play zOMG, living on the moon wouldn't be a problem. Except I CAN'T BECAUSE PROJECT CONSTELLATION IS CANCELLED. What the hell is Obama thinking?
But anyways, I farmed more. I need more orbs to level up my rings. It is getting easy by each day. I kinda wish Deadman's Shadow get released so there are more contents for me to play. It is getting boring, but still fun because people change every day. One day I crewed with a guy who was a monkey trainer. The other day I crewed with someone who collect owls. You never know what you will crew with each day.
As for the removal of glitched rings? I got over them. It doesn't make any difference. It doesn't matter. Abuse was a fun ring, after all. It decreases your stamina! I should equip that ring during a smob run.
I finally know why my previous crews never walk further than the robofish cave. There is a difference between smob runs, smeb runs, and regular eb runs. Smob runs kill everything and stop at the robofish cave, netting some 15k gold. Smeb runs get all the way to End Boss by speeding thru and not kill everything except necessary animated, like the Grunny subs. Regular ed runs, the one that took me to the End Boss, takes everything slowly. There was also ring farming which I prefer to erase it out of my mind.
Dad told me he signed me up for a special ed school around the block. I would be able to get there by thirty minutes of biking. I never biked before. I only knew how to ride a unicycle! They say if you know how to ride a unicycle you know how to ride a bike. That's not true, and I got a wound to prove it.

[BF-dragontshd-40]

Aqueitas

BF-dragontshd-40

Aqueitas

whats entry number five

Slowly transcribing the story, might take a while (read: months). Just be warned that there are certain scenes that are quite confusing.

Oh come on i am dying to know the next one. is this factual or are you making this stuff up. i don't really care it is amazing i hope it ends well. A happy ending with something good. How long until the next one i know months or weeks but a date so i can check.

I hope I can transcribe to a major event tonight, then I have real life stuff to tend to, probably one or two entries per day. There is a point in the story where entries got very long, but before that there will be some...fifty small entries. Although the story have factual basis it is mostly exaggerated and fictional. wink I can't tell you the ending yet, but it surprised me when I re-read it.

[Aqueitas]

BF-dragontshd-40

Aqueitas

BF-dragontshd-40

Aqueitas

whats entry number five

Slowly transcribing the story, might take a while (read: months). Just be warned that there are certain scenes that are quite confusing.

Oh come on i am dying to know the next one. is this factual or are you making this stuff up. i don't really care it is amazing i hope it ends well. A happy ending with something good. How long until the next one i know months or weeks but a date so i can check.

I hope I can transcribe to a major event tonight, then I have real life stuff to tend to, probably one or two entries per day. There is a point in the story where entries got very long, but before that there will be some...fifty small entries. Although the story have factual basis it is mostly exaggerated and fictional. wink I can't tell you the ending yet, but it surprised me when I re-read it.

Awesome i will be reading.

[BF-dragontshd-40]

Entry #6

Special ed school was the same as the old school. Five days a week, from eight to three. Kate was happy that I found a place to be safe. She give me a little bracelet that she took a whole week to made. I was happy.
On the Friday of the first week of school I was bone tired from riding my bike for five day straight. My grandpa taught me how to ride a bike in a few hours! It kinda surprised me I could master it in such a short time, even though I have PTSD from falling off and injure my head. But I was really tired and couldn't play zOMG for five days. It saddens me but I guess I could play it on Saturday from now on.
Kate told me she's rediscovering zOMG and points me toward the z! forum. There is a lot of nice people over there that can help you, she said. Furthermore, she found out that Deadman's Shadow is slated to be open in November 11th, and that is known in the community for quite some time. The only reason I don't know is because I didn't know z!F existed. I guess I should've pay attention to the train sequence, because it talked about the z!F.
You know what else I found out? The train sequence was not just Leon give you a ring and you kill some OMG. It is much longer and involved Frank and a subway. I was really curious on what it is, but alas I don't have a time machine.

Editor's note: I realized this entry foreshadowed an event much later in the story...