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- Posted: Tue, 24 Apr 2012 02:36:41 +0000
I was trying to show that Felicia understood what was going on, but was trying to cheer up Taerien... guess that failed a little. XD
And it wasn't killing Nova that Taerien had a problem with. I said that. It was that she would have to emotionally destroy Hale, and that was her problem. Although you say Taerien is a b***h, you also did point out her morals very strongly in her match with Nick, which is why the Shadow's absolute psychosis over a room full of bodies really knocked her off balance. But yes, it was a little too dramatic... but I was too lazy to fix it. sweatdrop
I have absolutely no idea why sandwich made you think of Sakura. *shrugs*
And I was actually making a joke with the bunny head, but I guess that might have been too subtle. Meh, you're a smart girl, you can figure it out. smile
Hale did speak at the end, which is why I had it reintroduced that he was mute by trauma, which was caused by his horror over death, specifially his parents'. And no, Hale did not turn against his beliefs. *sighs*
On his character profile, it describes him as an incredibly conflicted character, who is torn between doing what is right and what is necessary. He hesitates about death, but as shown in the intro story, is not above killing. It is only when it becomes pointless that he has incredible qualms about it. He has a great sense of moral duty and responsibility because of his role of Aphelion (when in actually, Nova is truly Aphelion as I mentioned), and so he killed Felicia and Taerien for the greater good.
You'll also notice he was not too happy about it. So no, he did not go against his morals. I've strongly hinted throughout the entire season that Hale is far more dangerous than Nova, as he constructed the lie that had Spencer shoot his partner, burned the body of the Ranger and sent Spencer and Tucker into another dimension on a wild goose chase, had Nova hold Sakura captive from Zakuro because he knew he loved her, and even envisioned killing hundreds of people in the intro story.
Hale, though he wants to do what is right, is very blushy around sexual humor, and is usually seen as a good guy, is a far more dangerous character than Nova. He thinks big-scale, he is constantly conflicted, and that effects his decisions, often forcing him to change his mind last minute. *sighs again* I'm getting frustrated with everyone thinking he is this white knight when his profile says otherwise, and his actions scream "evil mastermind."
And as for his shields: I guess the best way to explain it to you would be to reference Danny Phantom, because we both know that show is awesome. Danny can't escape from a shield made of spectral energy--literally, the energy coming from the ghost who creates it. Energy shields and metal/wood/plastic/other stuff shields are very different. Essentially, Hale's shields are like Vlad Plasmious' energy shields. They are a completely different form of energy that is not even from this earth--he received those powers from his God. They are from a different plane of existence, and thus not something physical Felicia can just phase though. Make sense? I hope the DP reference helped, it seemed like the easiest way to explain it.
So, I didn't really have much of a problem with the way you portrayed Hale, simply because he doesn't seem like much from the outside. You over-sexed Nova a little though. Not complaining too much, because everyone does and she'd be more or less happy with it. I do have to point out the jealously thing though. I told you:
"On a deeper level, I suppose she feels threatened by other woman because she knows A) That she and Hale don't truly love each other and he may be taken from her and that B) Unless that female was gay, there is little chance that her charms will throw them off-balance. That leaves her at a disadvantage, which she will remedy will soft words and hard blows."
Her profile clearly says she will not fly off the handle and seethe with jealousy when other woman interact with Hale. I was explaining to you why she dislikes other women, and I think the meaning got a little misconstrued. Sorry.
But otherwise it was fine.
That, and the ending was a little... not in character at all and made no sense. Let's just say those guards would have been dead, lied to, and stabbed multiple times before even landing a finger on Nova if she was confronted with... actually, I am super confused at the whole Gordan Ran thing. I'm not really sure what he was supposed to be setting up. But I think you were saying that he's responsible for their misery for... some reason, and Nova would have just killed him. Trust me, it would not matter how many security guards stood between them, she would have gladly died killing him, and Hale would have done nothing to stop her. He's good a standing by and looking in disapproval while doing nothing to stop her.
The pair being held back by lowly security guards (hired by Ran, who is cheap) after easily dominating powerful girls like Taerien and Felicia made no sense. The Shadow would have had to stop them, and it would have gladly killed Nova, which, ironically, would have screwed The Agency over, but ehh. Guess not. (Should I be encouraging the death of my character so much? Hmm...)
And now I've lost my train of thought. I think it was something like: "Overall, I really, really, really liked the pacing and style (seriously, you wrote this very well for such short time), but you need more concrete detail to link scenes, characters, and ideas together."
Don't be afraid to ask me more questions about my characters, you know I love talking about them. And don't be afraid to try something different with them as well. They are human beings and have human reactions. They change each other and are changed by their circumstances. That's what I was going for with Taerien: how would she react if she found out she was not actually in control of the situation and was probably going to be killed after ruining a man? and Hale: how would he react if he ultimately had to choose between saving Nova/his world and killing two (slightly crazy) innocent girls? Hence the title: Virtue.
I'm actually very disappointed that no one has truly tried to develop their opponent's characters. We get a lot of black and white fights in the Arena, so you'll notice I tried to make things a little more gray. Eh, we'll see how that went, I'll admit I did lose some motivation halfway through.
So I do recognize that Taerien's reaction to The Shadow's true nature was not something that reflected on her profile. But it was intentional: nothing like this has been shown on her profile: she's had a life where she is on top, in control, and always a b***h. So what happens when you take that away?
*clears throat* I'll stop now before I start to rant about character development and taking risks, because trust me, I can go on and on about that... I kinda already had.
So the point I was making somewhere in the beginning: Really good writing, a little shaky on the characters, but no worse than my rendition of Taerien/Felicia, nice fight, reread Hale's profile and backstory, I knew Felicia was aware, but failed at showing it through her ditziness (really, that was my bad, sorry), and uhm... something else about a burrito joke that I totally forgot.
I think it had something to do with the fact I'm hungry. Darn college food...