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Gaia Forums » Artist's Corner » Writers » Writing Contests
[ Poll ] The Storyteller's Contest (no fee, win a letter)

What Team are you On?

Durem 0.49253731343284 49.3% [ 33 ]
Barton 0.22388059701493 22.4% [ 15 ]
Aekea 0.17910447761194 17.9% [ 12 ]
Isle De Gambino 0.1044776119403 10.4% [ 7 ]
Total Votes: 67
Tags: writing  contest 
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Post: 17903353_1 created on Thu Sep 21, 2006 6:53 pmPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 6:53 pm
     
 
When people told themselves their past with stories,
explained their present with stories,
foretold their future with stories,
the best place by the fire was kept for,
The Storyteller

Welcome to

 
     
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Post: 17903353_2 created on Thu Sep 21, 2006 6:56 pmPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 6:56 pm
     
 


1. Welcome
2. Table of Content
3. Announcements
4. Contest
5. Rules
6. Past winner
7. My Quest
8. Banners/Links
  
     
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Post: 17903353_3 created on Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:15 pmPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:15 pm
     
 


7/11/08

Um the next round is up. Please let me know if it is unclear.

7/7/08

Well the Judging is over and the winner is...
.
.
.
MechaGanon2825

Congrates to the winners.

Now for the past couple of rounds I've been getting very well not that many entries or intersted so I need ideas. Ideas for contest, ideas to help draw people in w/e you got post it and join in the discussion.

Oh and as always the winning entry is posted below along with the others.

7/2/08

Well its that time again. Time to judge. Wish me luck.
Once again we have a poor showing of entries so I need ideas to help bump the thread. Anything you've got feel free to post even if it sounds silly.

5/10/08

Well sorry its taken so long but well my grandma is in town so that hindered things. Also I'm really disappointed in this round and the entries...

*sighs* well the winner is...

Emofruit8

Congrats...

Important Announcement

Look people, Please read the whole front page. There are rules and information you need to read. I am tired of getting people who well post there story and not send it to Wendys_Peter or they don't even bother with the contest prompt other than, "Oh its gotta be tragic." People if there is a rule or something you don't understand just ask Please.

Oh also a slight change to the rules not major.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Lastly if you haven't noticed or guessed it yet I have very poor Grammar and spelling. Well I need your help to improve and fix up this front page so any mistakes you see please let me know. Oh Let me know in a nice kind of way just like 'hey here in this area you have such and such posted but its should be like this.' this well be a big help to me.
  
     
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Post: 17903353_4 created on Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:22 pmPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:22 pm
     
 
This Months Contest

You enter a smoky tavern to be greeted by a smiling bar maid, “ ‘ello there sir, may I take your cloak? You look like you have a story to tell.” She grins at you and ushers you into a chair by the fire. “Sit, sit and tell us all your story.”

Well if you can’t tell yet this round is all about Storytelling. Mostly it is based off a show called Jim Henson’s The Storyteller. I’m not really looking for a fan-fic just stories done in the spirit of it. I’d like your story to feel like someone is sitting around telling it either to a group or one person.

It can be a fairy tale or something else it just has to have the storyteller feel to it.

Wikipeda Link

Links to an Episode; True Bride
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

~~You have until August 31th to get you entry in~~

If you have any questions about any part of the contest please post them here in the thread. Some one well be more than happy to help you.

Don't forget you must send a copy of your story into Wendys_Peter as well as post it here.

This is the code/form I'd like you to use in the posting and the sending. You don't really have to this round but its helpful if you do.

Name: (Your Gaia name)
Title: (story's title)
Page: (what page number is it posted on? If you don't know don't worry just guess)
Story: (story here)




1st place – First Pick of the letters, July or August
2nd place – the remaining letter
3rd place – 3,000 gold
4th place – 1,000 gold



Name: [jessii]
Title: Revenge Consumes
Page: 242
~~~
Name: Eternity Eclipse
Title: Jail Shoes
Page: 243
~~~
Name: faelein
Title: Broken Wings
Page: 243
~~~
Name: Jonni Mnemonic
Title: A Token of My Gratitude
Page: 244
~~~
Name: Shot Mannequin
Title: Life Goes On
Page: 244



This is the point system I am going to try and use from now on though I may modify it a bit.

Style of Writing: 10 out of 10
Spelling and Grammar: 10 out of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 out of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 out of 10
Meet Requirements: 5 out of 5
Overall Rating: 45 out of 45



Judges are not allowed to participate in the contest.
Judges are allowed to talk with other judges to help them with judging but after they have handed in there scores and rankings to Wendys_Peter they can not make changes.
If you would like to be a Judge PM me

  
     
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Post: 17903353_5 created on Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:27 pmPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:27 pm
     
 
Rules

1. Keep it PG-13, stories and convos
2. You must post your story here and send a copy to Wendys_Peter, my mule. If you have a chaptered story/Novella you may post it off site but a link must be posted here.
3. Do not hassle any of the judges.
4. Constructive criticism only. No flaming!!
5. Don’t Plagiarize.
6. One entry per person. Do not submit another entry under a mule.
7. Stories must contain all of the required Items and meet all requirements if you expect to win a prize.
8. Advertising is ok with me but no begging me for handouts. What I mean by Advertising is you can post a link to your store, story or such maybe with a brief spill about the link but no constantly posting you link or begging people to go to the thread. Also no just posting you random stories and what not that have nothing to do with entering.
9. If you fail to accept the trade with your prize within about a week after it was sent to you all Prizes forfit.

If you break any of these rules you well be disqualified and any entry fee paid is forfeit.


It takes quit a bit to get on this list but it can be done. Please don't try and get on it.



PixieMist
SydelleRein
Lucifers Bane
  
     
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Post: 17903353_7 created on Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:31 pmPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:31 pm
     
 
Last Months Challenge

Well this round is pretty much going to be easy as I’ve had to just throw it together last minute here.

It can be about anything you want but must include all of the fallowing items.

A sheep
A purse
DVDS
Book
A Cat
A fairy
A Fancy dress
Glass
A Shell
A doll

Last Months Winner


Name: MechaGanon2825
Title: Crystal Paradise

Story: It was early in the morning, as the taxi driver drove the young girl near the outskirts of Yorkshire. The day was beautiful—beautiful enough for a little visit from the young one to her mother. She had a rather large villa placed near a wonderfully green forest.

The young girl, truth is, only visits her mother once every so often. Her mother never really pays much attention to her, and the young girl has nothing to do there. This visit, however, the young girl brought a few DVDs and board games. And, of course, she brought her doll. It went everywhere with her.

The doll she owned was a majestic, surreal copy of a fairy from her favorite movie. She was going to watch it a lot this weekend, her doll close.

The chauffeur arrived and parked in the large driveway. The girl smiled as she stepped out of the car. The man told her to have a nice day, and the girl told him the same thing. He backed out and drove away, and she looked up to the villa. Moments later, her mother came out, wearing a long white gown, calling out, “Crystal, darling.”

The young girl waved, not saying a single word. She walked up to her, and her mother asked, “What is it you feel like doing today?”

Crystal did not speak; she only pulled a DVD from her purse and showed it to her. She was not a very active talker. She said a few words every now and then, but rarely anything. The DVD was her favorite movie, Faerie’s Tears. Her mother nodded and they walked inside. She set Crystal in the living room and set the DVD to play, saying “Make sure to turn the telly off before you do anything else.”

Her mother walked off, and Crystal watched it, her mouth open and her doll closely to her.

But then she saw a twinkle in the corner of her eye.

She glanced over near the window, and saw some sort of bug. She stood up and walked over; it looked just like a fairy from her movie!

She ran to the television and turned it off, and then grabbed her purse and doll. She ran out of the living room outside. She found the fairy, and it flew away. She ran after it as fast as she could, and ended up in the forest.

It was quite the mistake to do so, that’s for sure; she was lost. She ran through the forest, in circles it seemed. She decided to just turn around and go back home, but she ended up further in the forest.

Crystal sat down in a clearing, and a delightfully small cat, yellow in color, strutted by. She leaned over by it in order to pet it, and said in a meek voice, “Well, hello there, friend.”

“Well, good day to you, madame!” the cat oddly responded. The girl was is shock. Why was the cat talking? “That’s peculiar,” it said.

“What’s peculiar?” the girl asked.

“Usually, little girls don’t talk.”

“Well, what’s really peculiar is that cats don’t talk,” Crystal said.

The cat walked out of her reach, so she had to stand up. The cat said, “Well, little girls can’t talk, or else the Fairy Queen will find out.”

“The Fairy Queen?” the girl asked.

The cat nodded, “Why yes, of course, the Fairy Queen. You must have heard of her. She is the largest, most grandest of all fairies, wearing a long dress and surrounded by the most beautiful glass tree sculptures. And she forbids little girls to speak, or else she demands a sheep offering.” The cat began to walk down a path. Crystal followed it.

She asked, “Why sheep?”

“Because,” he explained, “the sheep, to her, is one of the most beautiful animals. She uses its wool for her fancy dresses and its blood for her make up.”

Crystal made a face of disgust. “Can I meet this Fairy Queen?”

“Oh no, it’s most advised not to do any such thing. In fact, I’d advise you to stay as far away as you possibly can. Why are you here anyway?”

Crystal began to speak, but then spotted the fairy, and ran after it. The cat ran after her, too. But, the green forest soon became a cold, blue forest. The cat became scared, but Crystal didn’t mind it much. She did, however, end up catching the poor, little fairy. She said to it, “Well, hello there.”

“Please don’t eat me!” it said, scared for its life.

Crystal pouted. Of course she wouldn’t eat it. In fact, she would never eat anything she found outside. “Why would I eat you, might I ask? I don’t even eat normal bugs!”

“I’m no bug!” the fairy said. It flew out of reach from Crystal, but stayed to speak to her. “I’m a fairy. My name is Nina.” She did an introductory curtsy.

Crystal curtsied back, because this was the polite thing to do, and she was always instructed to do what was most polite. “My name is Crystal,” she spoke. “Are you friends with the Fairy Queen?”

The cat, trembling, spoke now, “Shh! She’ll hear you. You’re in dangerous territory now. This forest is the forest which leads to the Fairy Queen’s chambers! Can’t you see the beautifully sculptured glass trees I spoke to you about?”

“Why, yes I do.”

The fairy, Nina, said, “Little girls like you should not be speaking. The Fairy Queen will become upset.” Crystal pouted again. “If it matters to you at all, yes I am friends with her. I am her right hand woman.”

Crystal’s eyes lit up with joy. “Oh, please, can I see her?” She spoke so loudly and so passionately that she dropped her belongings. The cat snuck up and looked at the doll.

“Well, this seems much more peculiar than a talking little girl—why do you have a doll of the Fairy Queen?” the cat asked, touching her most favorite doll.

Crystal snatched it from the cat before she was questioned further. “Let’s go see her, please?”

Nina sighed, knowing that she would not be able to stop her. Before she could say anything, Crystal ran in the direction of the beautifully sculpted, glass trees. They really were quite beautiful.

The young girl stopped short of the gate. The fairy and the cat caught up with her and Nina said, “Will you be patient?” Crystal shook her little head, and the fairy opened the door. The castle looked like it was made out of glass or ice, and the temperature, Crystal swore, was below freezing. She took a step inside, nonetheless, and proceeded to the Queen’s chambers. The cat and fairy followed closely behind, much more scared for their lives than the little girl was.

She walked up the steps to the throne, and saw the most beautiful woman she’s ever seen ever. She was tall and fair skinned. She wore a fancy dress, made from sheep’s wool. Her hair was of the most smooth and milky blonde. And around her neck, she wore the most beautiful pendant—it was a sea shell in the shape of a key. She looked down upon the three wanderers, and asked, “Who dares to step on my floors?”

Nina said, in a very weak voice, “This little girl wanted to see you. I’ll go take her away now”

Bu t no such thing happened. The little girl only stared into the eyes of the Fairy Queen. Words were not spoken for quite some time. It was the Queen who spoke first, “Why are you here? Little girls are not allowed to see me without a sheep sacrifice.”

Crystal responded, “I do not have a sheep to offer.”

“Then why do you waste my time?”

Crystal stood there, now fearing this Queen. She looked down at her doll, noticing the similarities between the two. She dropped her doll and said, “I... guess I don’t have much of a reason.”

The Queen curled her lips, saying, “Do you know what I do with little girls that speak to me, wasting my time?” Crystal shook her head. “I eliminate them.”

Crystal immediately turned around, running back to the gate. The cat wasn’t too far behind, and Nina was sure to follow, but the Fairy Queen called out to all her fairy minions to take care of this little girl. Nina, however, decided to disobey orders and help the little girl.

She opened the gate, and the three of them all ran out of the castle. But the little girl fell. She knew that soon she would be picked off by the diminutive fairies. But Nina sprinkled some dust upon her and said, “Don’t give up!” Crystal blinked and stood up. She was able to fly now, along with the cat!

The three of them flied high into the sky, and Crystal pointed out to them, “There’s my lovely, little house!” The fairy and the cat looked at one another and nodded. The three of them began to fly downward. They landed near her house, the safety of her nice, little house, and the Crystal said, “I very much loved this adventure.”

“Oh, as did we, I’m sure,” the cat said, meowing. The fairy smiled and flew off.

“Crystal?” she heard. She turned around and saw her mother. The cat was still there, licking its paws. “Are you playing around with stray animals?”

“Oh, but mum, this cat and I had the most wonderful adventure. We met the Fairy Queen! Isn’t that right, Mr. Cat?” Crystal said. The cat only meowed in response. She frowned.

Her mother sighed, smiling. “Have you been reading too many fantasy books? Or watching that movie too many times?” Crystal became silent. Her mother laughed, “Come, let us go inside. It’s about time we take a tea break. I made your favorite crumpets.”

Crystal smiled, and the cat smiled, too. It winked, and then ran off. Crystal looked up to her mother, and the two walked inside. She neglected to watch the rest of the movie. In fact, she just sat there with her mother and conversed with her the rest of the night. It was the first night that she had said so much in such a little time. Her little adventure was never spoken of, though. She knew it was just too special.
 
     
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Post: 17903353_10 created on Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:36 pmPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:36 pm
     
 
Last Months Second Place


Name: NiGHTMARE BULLETS
Title: Memories to Isolate You (I don't do well with titles. I'm sorry.)

Story:

Constance sat on the stained glass window ledge of her church. It was around midnight and the priests were asleep. She didn’t worry too much about them waking up and walking in on her thinking moments. Then again, why would she have to worry? If they did walk in they’d think they were hallucinating anyway. The ledge she just happened to be sitting on was very high up; even a cat would have difficulty getting up. Her secret? She was magic.



She sighed and looked out of the blue glass. Constance could hear the rain gently tap against the windows. The rain made her feel safer in the church. She couldn’t tell you exactly why but it did.



Constance tilted her head back and rested it upon the bricks, closing her eyes. She began to review some of her memories, ones that were both happy and sad. Ones that she came to the church and thought about the most. Slowly the memories engulfed Constance, the cold room, the cold reality slipping away.



A girl around the age of four stood in front of a large church, hugging a rag doll. “Mommy, are you sure it’s okay to go in? You’re a fairy and daddy was a human and I’m half and half. Are you sure it’s safe for us?” The young girl asked her brown eyes wide and full of fear.



A tall woman around the age of thirty-four knelt down next to the girl and smiled. “Of course honey.” The woman reassured, pushing a strand of brown hair out of the girl’s eyes. “There is nothing to be worried about. We are all God’s sheep, God is our Shepard. He protects and loves us all the same. Remember that Constance.”



She nodded at her mother and squeezed the doll a little tighter. “Hand mommy.” Constance said, surrendering one arm from her doll to reach up and grab her mother’s hand. Her mother just smiled and grabbed her daughter’s hand. Both of them turned to face the church, to go to a mass on the anniversary of her father’s death.



As they moved closer the fear in Constance’s eyes did not disappear. In fact, the fear became worse. She soon heard her heart pounding in her ears and her heart thumping in her chest, and yet she managed to keep her breathing steady.



Her mother grabbed the door handle and looked down at Constance. “Are you ready baby?” Constance kept looking forward and slowly nodded. “Okay then.” Constance’s mother pulled the door open and the scent of incense hit them. She began to cough, not being used to the smell.



Still coughing, Constance and her mother walked into the church and took seats in the back pews. A deacon was reading a scripture story from the bible, but Constance couldn’t hear it. Her heart was the only thing she could hear.



The young girl studied the people around her. They all had their heads bowed and most of them were dressed up. She noticed on woman in particular. She wore a dark green dress. It was an off the shoulder dress with the hem down to mid calf. On the right side were gold flowers going down in an oblique line. It seemed both inappropriate for Church and yet fancy to Constance.



The priest stood up and motioned for everyone to sit. Constance sat through the rest of the mass, waiting desperately for the end. She was still afraid. Finally as the priest and the alter boys proceeded down the aisle and the rest of the pews cleared out Constance’s mother, Margaret, grabbed her hand and led Constance to a statue of Jesus surrounded by seven candles. Three on the right side, three on the left side, and one in front of him.



“See Constance,” Margaret began. “This is our Shepard. He is the son of God, the one who came down to Earth to save us from our sins. He is whom we praise. He is who loves and protects us. Do you understand that Constance?”



“Yes mommy.” Constance replied, her eyes fixed on the center candle. It was flickering.



Margaret bowed to the statue and whisper “amen”. She then stood up straight and smiled down at Constance, whose eyes were still fixed on the center candle. “Come on sweetie.” Margaret picked up her daughter and headed for the door.



Constance watched the flickering candle blow out. Now only six candles remain burning.



Margaret carried Constance out of the church and into the bright sun. She kept carrying her until they had reached the bank. There she had put Constance down and told her to wait in a chair. Constance did as her mother had asked and took a seat near an empty crawl space.



Margaret walked up to a bank teller and placed her purse on the counter, beginning to dig around for something.



Constance sat in the chair patiently, listening to the bell ring. She looked up at the man who walked in. He didn’t even notice Constance, he just walked right past her as he pulled out a gun a cocked it to someone’s head. A few people screamed and a loud gunshot was fired.



Margaret turned to the scene, instantly motioning for Constance to hide in the crawl space.



Constance nodded and went to go hide in the dark crawl space.



The man began to shoot everyone, killing Margaret last. Constance covered her mouth to try and muffle her scream. The killer jumped behind the counter and headed back towards the vault. Constance kept her mouth covered; now trying to muffle her sobs. She kept her eyes on her mother, watching the blood pour out of her mother’s wounds.



A few minutes later an alarm began to ring and she heard the killer curse as the vault sealed him inside. It took the police around fifteen minutes to finally get in and Constance was still in the crawl space.



At first the police just stopped in shock. A few shook their heads. Six out of the seven cops headed back towards the vault, the seventh looked around at the dead bodies, checking to see if anyone was still alive.



“Is there anyone else here?” He called out.



Constance just looked up at him from the crawl space. She didn’t know if she should come out or stay hidden.



“Anyone? Please?” He asked again.



Constance removed her hand and cried, “Help me!”



The cop turned towards the crawl space and pulled out a flash light. He crouched down and shined the light on her. She winced at the light and his expression fell even more. The other six cops came back out and stood next to him. “The vault door killed him.” One of them said.



“What are you looking at?” Another one asked, crouching down next to him. “Why, there’s a little girl in there!”



“Sweetie, will you please come out of there?” The cop with the flashlight asked.



Constance didn’t answer, she just stayed there.



“Please sweetie?” He asked again.



Constance wiped the tears from her eyes and began to crawl out.



The cop turned his flashlight off and walked up to her. “It’s going to be alright sweetie.” He said picking her up. “It’s going to be alright.”



He then walked her out of the bank and sat her in his cop car, driving her back to the police station. He put a DVD in the DVD player and turned on the television while he went to go talk to the chief.



That was the last time Constance had ever seen her mother. She kept her eyes closed as another memory engulfed her mind.



An older looking Constance sat in the sand, playing with sea shells. The orphanage was taking a trip to the beach. After all, it was a nice, warm, sunny day.



Constance now looked about the age of seven. Her hair was a little longer and her skin was a little paler, but overall she looked and felt the same. Big brown eyes full of fear and her heart still thumping in her ears.



A boy around the age of eight sat down next to her. “Can I play with you?” He asked, smiling at her.



Constance sat up straight and looked at the boy. He was everybody’s best friend in the orphanage. He had jet black hair and crystal blue eyes. Constance just blinked at him. Why did he want to play with her? Nobody liked her, they all thought she was weird.



“Please?” He asked again.



“Sure.” Constance answered, playing with the shells again.



“Thank you.” He said. “By the way, my name is James.”



“My names Constance.”



“That’s a pretty name.”



“Thank you.”



“Do you like my name?”



“Yes.”



“Thank you.”



Constance smiled a little bit.



“What are you trying to do?” James asked Constance.



“I don’t know really. I’m just playing with them.” She replied, her smile fading.



“Oh.” James smile faded a little too. The two sat in silence for a few minutes, but then James smile reappeared. “Do you want to be my friend Constance?”



Constance looked up at him shocked. “Um, yes please.”



“Okay then.” James smiled.



“Come on children! Back to the bus!” A woman called out. Both laughter and groans filled the air. James stood up and held out his hands to help Constance up. She took his hands and pulled herself up.



They walked back to the bus hand in hand.



Constance smiled at the last memory, opening her eyes. It was a lot brighter then what it was when she had closed them.



“Hey! You up there! Get down from there!” A man’s voice yelled up. Constance looked down to find the priest yelling at her.



“s**t.” She whispered, throwing her bag down.



“Get down you devil!” He yelled up to her.



Constance sat confused. Devil? Her brown eyes scanned the room. All the candles were blown out. A myth says that when the candles are blown out it means the devil is present. Just like the myth about six and seven. Six is the Devil’s number while seven is God’s.



The side doors to the church opened and people began to walk in, slowly forming a crowd around the priest. Constance jumped off the ledge and a few people screamed. She swiftly grabbed her bag and weaved herself out of the crowd and ran out through the church doors. She kept on running until she reached the highest hill.



There she fell down to her knee’s and began crying. “If God is my Sheppard and Sheppard’s protect, guide, and love their sheep why have I been forgotten?” She screamed, pounding her fists on the grass.



Constance felt a hand fall on her shoulder and a soft hand caress her face. “You haven’t been forgotten Constance.” A boy’s voice said.



The eighteen-year-old Constance looked up at the smiling nineteen-year-old James. “I’m not God but I promise to always protect, guide, and love you for the rest of my life. I’ve always been with you until these past few years where you pushed me away. No longer. I won’t let you push me away anymore.”



James pulled her up and held her. “You’re not alone anymore.”
 
     
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Post: 17903353_11 created on Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:38 pmPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:38 pm
     
 
Last Months Third Place


Name: XxAiDarknessxX
Title: Chaotic Moments

Story:
Let's all start out with the fact that this was not anyone's fault, ok? It was just a little experimenting with alcohol. Yes, experimenting, science teachers get us to do it so hopefully we find ridiculous temperature taking exciting that we'll listen. Right now all I want to do is count sheep. Sheep, those white and black fuzzy creatures that I told myself I would never see ever since my last experience from a field trip to a dairy farm.

Sheep 1

Sheep 2

Sheep 3

Sheep – s**t!

Either gravity was twisted upside down or somehow I am psychic, which caused my body to rollover and flop onto the ground. Growling at the intruder of my hell sleep, I looked up. My eyes were barely open and a groan of exhaustion escaped my mouth. "Were you drunk Raven?" The voice came from the sadistic sweet mother, you know, the mothers that are oh-so sweet, but deep down you know they are just those maniac's with chainsaws and in a few years are living on the streets till they are sweep off to the hospital in straight jackets.
"Which may explain why someone, such as god, being sadistic as he is dropped a bowling ball on my head mother," I said dully, rolling over.
"Raven," mother sighed, "You knew today you were going have to baby-sit Kaitlyn!"
I forced myself up and from the fast motion I swear puke entered my nose rather than my nose. "Mom, you gotta be flipping me off!"
Turning, the mother who at least weighed 170 pounds and had long brown hair, stared at Raven, shaking her head. "Why can't dad do it?" I asked, sitting up and resting my head against the bottom of the couch area.
I felt a furry creature on my head and sighed, I reached my creamy pale smooth skin arms up to grasp my cat, Charman. I guess I named my cat that after the toilet paper commercial, that stuff got me cracking up once. It is weird to see how far commercials go from humans to little girls to bears!
"Hey there hairball," I said with a monotone, the cat hissed at me. Ok, maybe there was a fact that was true around this house. No matter how much that happens, this cat will always hate me. I blame the ghost of my dead cat Benji, I sort of experimented with him too! It started with setting his tail on fire, he didn't really enjoy that.
"Girl your father is in jail!" Mother spat, loosing her patience as she rumbled through her blue leather purse. Actually, that purse was pretty ugly, even if it was an antique. I stare at my hoodie and grin as if the idiot I am, proud to be a retard that uses hoodie pockets to keep important things in it.
"Sweet! Can I move in with him now?" I asked joyfully, clapping my hands. Stopping, my mother looked at me as if I had a purple butt and was singing barney as I kept bouncing on a sit and bounce.
"…Jail…fits perfectly," mother said sarcastically and picking up her purse. She set down $100 dollars on the green hard counter top, knowing how I enjoyed ordering a bit of pizza, actually a lot, that whore of a mom knows me well enough to beat 5 clones of me in a trivia show. "Woah, has anyone heard of censor?" I asked, covering my eyes with my hand and falling back, hitting my head against the coffee table causing a book to fall down on me as well. "Sh-" Mother looked at me, warning me to zip it before I face the bar of soap.
A little girl, no, an annoying twerp walked into the living room parading around in a pink little fairy costume. "What are you…a prostitute?" I asked, trying not to laugh. The little girl with short brown hair looked up. Her eyes were the same as Raven's, blue.
Cocking her head to the side, the girl spoke, "What is that?" "What you are," I said. The girl jumped up and down singing, "I'm a prostitute and you're nothing!"
"Raven, stop telling Kaitlyn bad words," mother scolded walking over to the closet and grabbing her coat. Kaitlyn turned looking at her mommy. "Mommy, what is a prostitute?" Looking at Kaitlyn, the mother said dully, "A prostitute is a girl that gets paid to do things…you know wrestle." Kaitlyn grinned, remembering how she found her mother 'wrestling' with the next door guy.
"Please, don't remind me of that night! I got front row streets!" I cried, bringing my hands to my head. "How would you know Raven? You were gone that day!" Mother said and I replied, "I know you did it…but my friend's grandparents did too!"
"Your friends were grandparents," mother sighed shaking her head.
"Come play with me Raven!" chanted Kaitlyn, yanking on my arm. I groaned and whined, "I'm pooped!" Kaitlyn's eyes widen, "Mommy! Raven pooped!" Sighing, the mother looked at the two girls. "Kaitlyn, pooped is an expression…Raven; please…spare the rest of the girl's sanity." I nodded my head, hopefully I could do that.
Kaitlyn looked over at me and I raised an eyebrow. "Why do you hang with old people?" Kaitlyn asked. I shrugged and said, "They move faster than mom…they are easily grouchy and pissed off." I grinned at my reasoning skills and Kaitlyn nodded, she never understood many things I said, but who does?
"Can we watch a DVD?" Kaitlyn asked and I shrugged, grabbing a DVD. "Ok, we have two choices, recorded DVD of Michael Jackson or Scary Movie 2." Kaitlyn shook her head saying, "I don’t like Michael Jackson." "Well I do," I whined, "and I have a headache, I don't want to listen to sappy Barney songs." Kaitlyn started to cry, "But you said they were the best, Barney is better!" I sighed and placed a hand on Kaitlyn, and said without a care in the world, "Barney is a homo; he touches little boys and burns little girls." Kaitlyn turned and ran off, probably to get rid of all her Barney collectables.
Suddenly, sound of glass clashing onto the ground made me jump up. "Holy cow! Kaitlyn are you banging that wall?" I exclaimed, running to Kaitlyn's room. I stop, starring at the glass on the floor with a crying Kaitlyn. "…I threw my Barney doll at the window, but it didn't break!" "…Glass is breakable…" I flatly said shaking my head and I'm insane?!
Kaitlyn looked at me and I sighed, walking over. "Watch…" I said and picked up a shell from my sister's shell collection. "Hey! What are you going to do with that?!" Kaitlyn screamed and I cursed, "Will you shut up, god…I have a headache for crying to god!" Kaitlyn looked down, frowning and I grasped the shell. I didn't hesitate to throw the shell at a piece of glass and it broke more. "See, when you try to break something by throwing it at something else…you is creating pressure which causes the object being attacked to break…" I said and Kaitlyn stopped frowning, a smile plastering on her shy face. I stood up and walked out, to the devil, I swear these are the most chaotic moments of my life!
 
     
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Post: 17903353_12 created on Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:38 pmPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:38 pm
     
 
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Post: 17903353_13 created on Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:39 pmPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:39 pm
     
 




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Post: 17903353_14 created on Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:40 pmPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:40 pm
     
 
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Post: 17903353_15 created on Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:48 pmPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:48 pm
     
 
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