comments on February/March's competition As before, just because I write more for one person and less for another doesn't mean a thing!
princessjewelgirl: I loved the way that some of the words were in bold so that they stood out. I have to admit that when I first read this, I wasn't particularly impressed... but I just read it again and loved it! It was very meaningful too!
rockywitch: hmm it's hard to rhyme, I find! To be good at rhyming you can't make it sound childish- which it often does when people rhyme. However, you did very well. I liked the last verse especially.
Mameoyashi: It was great! You have a great imagination, and portrayed your story very well too. The love of the man was so realistic, and everything you wrote about was as well. I really enjoyed it.
Cheersfan222: Very thought provoking! (if that's how to spell it!) And enjoyable too!
Teran: I love your descriptions- some people write with mainly dialect, and some with descriptions and you are the latter. The way you write is great! I also liked the very realistic and life-like way you wrote this piece.
sarahs_cutie: 1 suggestion is to use punctuation. Without punctuation, a poem doesn't really flow. You did use some, but generally the poem was just one huge sentence. I liked the words, expressions and thoughts that you put into this.
|)ark_Kaya: Another descriptive writer! I loved the descriptions, especially from the beginning to about the middle. It was very realistic until she had wings coming out of her back, but this was interesting and very well written too.
Alanasweets1: I don't know if this is personal or true, but you certainly portrayed it in that way- well done.
PrincesKatrina: Again, no punctuation- but I think you intended that. It was nicely written.
DarkLighting: Nicely written and nicely expressed.
alter-ego-tim: Absolutely great! You make it sound as if you actually have been in the army and lost a fellow friend. You have brilliant descriptions- another person who is not a dialect writer! The best part of this piece was the fact that you had very short sentences. In many cases it would not work, but in this circumstance it fitted perfectly.
Live_Wire: Very good. I like the repetition a lot!
Malocide: I really liked the style and structure of this piece. The last line is very meaningful and finished it off well.
Anlia Bateson: Very nice. Good verses and a good end.
Crimson Desire: Lovely, especially the beginning- I loved the way you said 'Don't do something' 'When something happens'. It was lovely.
Vorastrix: Very nice, especially the way you put across yours and other peoples feelings so well.
serpenteyes: This was very sad and put across so well. You really appealed to the reader and gained their sympathy.
princessjewelgirl: a 2nd entry... I only counted the first one. However this was also very nice. It was romantic and very sweet, well done.
singukusa: Well rhymed. Very nice.
Larinna: I like the repetition of 'You dropped me'... it's very forceful and meaningful. Very nice.
cynicalstitch: Great! I especially liked the end- from when he locked the door. It was great!
Midnight_Scars: No capital letters or punctuation- that's the only improvement. The rest was very good!
N3verwhere: oooh this was interesting! I enjoyed it alot! The beginning especially!
FentraWrenn: Very nice! And the only one who posted in a colour xp (I think!)
Makedaset: oooh wow an unexpected end! That was great!
Ardente: Very nice! Your end is great too! You're good at descriptions and dialogue too. Nice one. (and you seem to have received a dedicated fangirl: cynicalstitch xp )
SongsofSorrow: Very nice. I like the short sentences, the references to other things (such as parting the sea) and the questions posed.
Queen_of_the_Seven_Angels: Very nice. Good chorus, and lovely end.
jubei yamagami: very nice. I like the fact that you included japanese even if we can't understand it! nice effect!
Ruana~Tambre: Great start with wonderful descriptions. You express young love well (as if you know something about it xp ) Very good end- you make us dislike Stephani alot!!! (nice choice of name... it's mine xp but spelt with an e at the end too!)
heroinkiss: oooh lovely! another one with bold words in, which are brilliant! I'm guessing it's the song that the saxophone is playing. I love the way you have two stories- well the bold part and the other. And it was just lovely.
