Everything Must Go! (RESULTS POSTED)

Do You Know Me?

That would be a "No."	40.2%	[ 39 ]
Of course! We're BFFs!	5.2%	[ 5 ]
Who really knows Anyone?	29.9%	[ 29 ]
Gold?	24.7%	[ 24 ]
Total Votes:			[ 97 ]

[calviness]

THANKS FOR PARTICIPATING! SEE BELOW FOR RESULTS!


Also, Please read the section about my critiques below - I don't want anyone's feelings to be hurt, and I would really like for everyone to get a fair sense.

Insert Totally Awesome Artwork Banner Here

Some of you know me. Some of you don't, and were probably lured in here by my over the top title. Either way, I'm glad to know that the rumor of my departure from the world of Gaia has brought you all to mourn (or to frisk me for valuables).

I have been on and off Gaia for a long time. But, I think I am finally done for real. However, Gaia has been good to me. Back, eons ago, when I was a budding author who wrote almost entirely in phrases like "blood-flavored sorrow" and "crimson tears," Gaia's authors took me under their wing and helped me to become less hackneyed (and hopefully slightly more grammatically correct).

The point is, knowing I am leaving, I want to get rid of all of my stuff. What better way than with a writing contest?

So - to the Basics!

What is it: An Everything Goes, all out writing contest. Everything is eligible. I don't care if it is prose, poetry, scripts, lyrics, non-fiction, or interpretive text. Fantasy, Horror, NSFW (though I'm pretty sure that Gaia insists that we link that separate...), Whatever. I personally dally in pretty much everything, and I encourage you all to as well.

When: End Date = March 28th!
Final Crits/Judging Begins = April 7th!

Who: Everyone. If you are willing to submit and critique, you're good.

Why: The money! At the moment, it is rating at over 3 mil. That will most likely triple as soon as I can find the password info for my old account...
Also - I will give every entrant one of my in depth critiques. I don't claim to be a master, but I'm not too shabby either. You certainly could do worse in meeting your critiquing needs.

So, have fun, and good luck!

Edit: Get Your Edits/Critiques In!

[calviness]

All THAT Jazz

So - As I said - This is an Everything Goes, Wing McCallister style of contest: (see here)
I don't care if it is poetry, or prose, or lyrics. I will be unlikely to read anything longer than 5,000 words.

The Twist? - As part of your entry, you will be required to critique another entrant's piece. You are more than welcome to critique more than one, but you will critique someone's. Why? Because you WILL be judged on your critique.

Other than that... it's pretty straight forward. (I may have stolen these rules from BLB before she left.)

1. No PM submissions will be accepted. Just post it in this thread. If it is really long, try to link it in a post here.

2. Only one entry per person, so make it count.

3. All entries should be in standard size and color-- that is unaltered size and plain black, unless it is used as a poetic effect.

4. You may edit your entry in its original post until the close date. If you make edits elsewhere, copy it over, or I probably won't read it.

5. By joining this contest, you agree to being critiqued - by me and others. I understand if you disagree with your critique, but let's try to keep it mature.

6. I am the only judge.

7. Even though I love a good fight, follow the TOS.

8. I will probably add more if I think of it. You will obviously not be required to adhere to those rules until I've added them in.


Fact: I don't care about your feelings.
That aside, I have total respect for all you budding artists out there. It can be hard. Don't be afraid to ask questions. If you are unsure about what to give in a critique - give it a shot, and ask me how you did. I'll give you pointers to help you beef it up before I score it. The same (on a limited basis) applies to poetry. If you are unsure about a specific aspect - I am more than willing to chatter away about my opinion.

Fact: Don't act like a jerk, and we'll get along fine.
I grew up in a culture that values respect and common courtesy. Even on the internet.

Fact: Everyone who submits both an entry and a critique WILL receive something from me. However, if you submit a dirty limerick you made up with your buddy, you will probably get something super cheap. There have been lots of holidays with free giveaways, and I would love to get rid of that stuff.

Me addressing Issues:
Concerning Capitalization and Critiquing Crits

[calviness]

Entrants

Bait-kun - Sonnet ....................... crit by Sol
Pandamoneyelephant00 - Fake Flowers ....................... crit by Sol and creativedreamer and Schmeal and Writer Selbe
WTDH Mule - The day goes by ....................... crit by bait-kun and Sol and piggg
Anne Green - Empty Smiles ....................... crit by piggg and Yutora
The Solarised Night - Virtual Obsession ....................... crit by jaded-peacock and piggg and Eripsa
Kivery5 - Lost Dreams ....................... crit by Yutora
madametrixie - untitled ....................... crit by Bait-kun and Kivery5
AngelHanten1 - untitled ....................... crit by Sol
piggg - The Midshipmen ....................... crit by Squiddish and Eripsa
x_Squiddish_x - untitled ....................... crit by piggg
Mid-Afternoon Madness - untitled ....................... crit by Kivery5
xxcreativedreamerxx - Fake ....................... crit by Kivery5
johnidiotsmith - I Am ....................... crit by TLM
Mairose - What the Waves Delivered... ....................... crit by moonbird67 and Eripsa
moonbird67 - The Final Sunset ....................... crit by jumpforjo and Eripsa and Gordan_Ran
jumpforjo - Love ....................... crit by ScrewLogic...
ScrewLogicIAmATurtle - White Room ....................... crit by The7thKira
The7thKira - We Burn Romantic ....................... crit by TLM
Soul Taker007 - untitled ....................... crit by Kivery5
Yutora - Ashes to Ashes ....................... crit by Koda Crest and Maiden
Lusci - Dear Ex-Lover ....................... crit by Spider London
Eripsa - Sergeant Crick ....................... crit by moonbird67 and Sol
Schmeal - Riverbank ....................... crit by Moonbird67
Spider London - This Is Our World ....................... crit by Kurayami
TLM - Saint Valentine ....................... crit by Sol
Koda Crest - A Time Paradox ....................... crit by Eternal Complex
The Blue Bob - Untitled ....................... crit by Koda Crest
Eternal Complex - The Cage That Sets Me Free ....................... crit by Hardcore Uvula
Mustached Bunny - Untitled ....................... crit by The Blue Bob
CARAJ - 3,695 ....................... crit by xVoldie
xXFakeFlowersXx - Bitter Sweet Dream ....................... crit by CARAJ and Kurayami
Maiden of the Stars - What We Stand Upon ....................... crit by Kurayami
iloveasdf - Breakaway ....................... crit by Inadvertant and Kurayami
Inadvertant Angel - Endorphin: Hour of Dawn ....................... crit by Yutora
KurayamiYoshido - Soul's Garden ....................... crit by DruidTigeress and Saline
DruidTigeress - The Final Frontier ....................... crit by Icily Platinum
xVoldie - The Light ....................... crit by Moonbird67
Writer Selbe - Dystopia ....................... crit by Moonbird67
NoSenseNonSense - A Knight's Resolve ....................... crit by Yutora
Hardcore Uvula - William ....................... crit by Eternal Complex
Icily Platinum - The Ritual ....................... crit by Mokomonko
Saline Everwood - Going Home ....................... crit by Bysshe Shelley Keats
Bysshe Shelley Keats - The Bogey Man's Disease ....................... crit by Yutora
Mokomonko - The Slow Descent ....................... crit by Moonbird67 and Starry Starry Fright
Starry Starry Fright - My Angel ....................... crit by Moonbird67

Quote:

Entrants
(Those with Red will not receive crit. They will receive a Token Item, as thanks for participation, but will not be eligible for rankings)

AngelHanten1 - No Crit Given
Anne Green - No Crit Given
Bait-Kun - crit: WTDH Mule, Madametrixie - SCORE: 4.2
Bysshe Shelley Keats - crit: Saline - SCORE: 7.2
Carah Rose - crit: FakeFlowers - SCORE: 3
Druid Tigeress - crit: Kurayami - SCORE: 10
Eripsa - crit: Sol, piggg, Mairose, moonbird67 - SCORE: 10.1
Eternal Complex - crit: Koda Crest, Hardcore Uvula - SCORE: 5.2
Hardcore Uvula - crit: Eternal Complex - SCORE: 6.3
Icily Platinum - crit: Druid Tigeress - SCORE: 6.4
iloveasdj - crit: No Crit Given
Inadvertent Angel - crit: iloveasdf - SCORE: 4.2
johnidiotsmith - No Crit Given
jumpforjo - crit: moonbird67 - SCORE: 4
Kivery5 - crit: Midafternoon, xxcreativexx, Soultaker7, madametrixie - SCORE: 4.85
Koda Crest - Yutora, the bluebob - SCORE: 9.2
KurayamiYoshido - crit: Spider London, fakeflowers, iloveasdf - SCORE: 5.4
Lusci - No Crit Given
madametrixie - No Crit Given
Maiden of the Stars - crit: Yutora, - SCORE: 7
Mairose - No Crit Given
Midafternoon Madness - No Crit Given
Mokomonko - crit: Icily Platinum - SCORE: 9.1
moonbird67 - crit: Mairose, Eripsa, Shmeal, xVoldie, WriterSelbe, Mokomonko, Starry Starry - SCORE: 7.2
Mustached Bunny - No Crit Given
NoSenseNonSense - No Crit Given
Pandamoneyelephant00 - No Crit Given
piggg - crit: WTDH Mule, Anne Green, Sol, Squiddish - SCORE: 7.35
Saline Everwood - crit: Kurayami - SCORE: 5
schmeal - crit: Pandamoneyelephant - SCORE: 6.2
ScrewLogic - crit: jumpforjo - SCORE: 4.3
SoulTaker007 - No Crit Given
Spider London - crit: Lusci - SCORE: 4.1
Starry Starry Fright - crit: Mokomonko - SCORE: 9
The 7th Kira - crit: Screw Logic - SCORE: 6.1
The Blue Bob - crit: mustached bunny - SCORE: 8
The Solarised Night - crit: Bait-Kun, Pandamoneyelephant, AngelHanten1, TLM, Eripsa, WTDH - SCORE: 9.6
TLM - crit: johnidiot, 7th Kira - SCORE: 9.7
Writer Selbe - crit: Pandamoneyelephant - SCORE: 7.3
WTDH Mule - No Crit Given
x_Squiddish_x - crit: piggg - SCORE: 8.1
xVoldie - crit: CARAH - SCORE: 7.1
xxcreativedreamerxx - crit: Pandamoneyelephant - SCORE: 6
xXFakeFlowersXx - No Crit Given
Yutora - crit: Anne Green, Kivery5, NoSenseNonsense, Bysshe Shelley Keats, Inadvertent Angel - SCORE: 8.2

Critiquers (No Entry, But Critiqued
Jaded-Peacock
Gordon Ran

[calviness]

THANK YOU ALL FOR PARTICIPATING! This has been a wonderful contest, and I thank you for your patience. I will try to quote you in the critique, but if I am not able, then I apologize - They will be in alphabetical order.

Prizes, Rankings, Etc:

Top 10 will get an item of their choosing from the list - #1 chooses first, 2 second, and so on. If you are in the top 10, please PM your item choice ASAP. (Hint: sending me a list of your preferred top several might help if the person above you chooses your 1st choice)

White Leopard Fur Hat
The Watchmaker
Apprentice Charm
Antique Shop (4th Gen)
Fremere's Guard
Astra-l: Spectacular Golden Halo
Depth of Hades
Reve Rouille (2nd Gen)
Big Book of Myths
March 2011 Monthly Collectible Letter

Rankings/Moneyz:

Ranking will be the added scores between Piece (Scale 1-5) and Critique (Scale 1-5). Multiple Critiques will be averaged, with an overall point bonus for additional critiques. (.2 each additional critique)

IN THE CASE OF POINT TIES: I read through the pieces again, comparing and contrasting, to rank them compared to each other. I took into consideration the points already given, and then evaluated.

1. - 300,000 - Eripsa - Overall: 10.1 Piece Score: 5 + Crit Score: 5,4,4,5 (averaged, plus .6) = 5.1
2. - 250,000 - Druid - Overall: 10 Piece Score: 5 + Crit Score: 5
3. - 200,000 - TLM - Overall: 9.7 Piece Score: 5 + Crit Score: 4,5 = 4.7
4. - 150,000 - Sol - Overall: 9.6 Piece Score: 4 + Crit Score: 5,4,5,4,5,5 = 5.6
5. - 140,000 - Koda - Overall: 9.2 Piece Score: 5 + Crit Score: 4,4 = 4.2
6. - 130,000 - Mokomonko - Overall: 9.1 Piece Score: 5 + Crit Score: 4 + .1 tiebreaker
7. - 120,000 - StarryStarry - Overall: 9 Piece Score: 4 + Crit Score: 5
8. - 110,000 - Yutora - Overall: 8.2 Piece Score: 3 + Crit Score: 4,3,5,4,5 = 5 + .2 tiebreaker
9. - 100,000 - xSquiddishx - Overall: 8.1 Piece Score: 3 + Crit Score: 5 + .1 tiebreaker
10. - 95,000 - The Blue Bob - Overall: 8 Piece Score: 3 + Crit Score: 5
11. - 90,000 - Piggg - Overall: 7.35 Piece Score: 3 + Crit Score: 3,4,3,5 = 4.35
12. - 85,000 - Moon - Overall: 7.2 Piece Score: 3 + Crit Score: 3,2,4,4,3,3,2 = 4.2
13. - 80,000 - WriterSelbe - Overall: 7.15 Piece Score: 3 + Crit Score: 4 + .15 tiebreaker
14. - 75,000 - Bysshe - Overall: 7.1 Piece Score: 3 + Crit Score: 4 + .1 tiebreaker
15. - 70,000 - xVoldie - Overall: 7.05 Piece Score: 2 + Crit Score: 5 + .05 tiebreaker
16. - 65,000 - Maiden - Overall: 7 Piece Score: 3 + Crit Score: 4
17. - 60,000 - Icily - Overall: 6.4 Piece Score: 3 + Crit Score: 3 + .4 tiebreaker
18. - 55,000 - Hardcore - Overall: 6.3 Piece Score: 4 + Crit Score: 2 + .3 tiebreaker
19. - 50,000 - Schmeal - Overall: 6.2 Piece Score: 3 + Crit Score: 3 + .2 tiebreaker
20. - 49,000 - The7th - Overall: 6.1 Piece Score: 3 + Crit Score: 3 + .1 tiebreaker
21. - 48,000 - xXcreativeXx - Overall: 6 Piece Score: 3 + Crit Score: 3
22. - 47,000 - Kurayami - Overall: 5.4 Piece Score: 2 + Crit Score: 3,4,2 = 3.4
23. - 46,000 - Eternal - Overall: 5.2 Piece Score: 2 + Crit Score: 3,3 = 3.2
24. - 45,000 - Saline - Overall: 5 Piece Score: 2 + Crit Score: 3
25. - 44,000 - Kivery - Overall: 4.85 Piece Score: 3 + Crit Score: 1,1,2,1 = 1.85
26. - 43,000 - Bait-Kun - Overall: 4.2 Piece Score: 2 + Crit Score: 2,2 = 2.2
27. - 42,000 - ScrewLogic - Overall: 4.3 Piece Score: 2 + Crit Score: 2 + .3 tiebreaker
28. - 41,000 - Inadvertent - Overall: 4.2 Piece Score: 2 + Crit Score: 2 + .2 tiebreaker
29. - 40,000 - Spider - Overall: 4.1 Piece Score: 2 + Crit Score: 2 + .1 tiebreaker
30. - 39,000 - JumpforJo - Overall: 4 Piece Score: 2 + Crit Score: 2
31. - 38,000 - Carah - Overall: 3 Piece Score: 2 + Crit Score: 1

Specialty Gifts:
Most Critiques Given - Birthday Crown - Moonbird67
Critiquing At End - Long-Stem Black Rose - Yutora, Moonbird67

Critiquers With No Entry
Cookie, 25,000 Gold

Entrants That Failed To Critique:
Cookie

Any gold or items that I have left afterward will be dispensed at whim. (Probably to those who posted a lot, or gave exceptional critiques, or made exceptional progress)

NOW - CONCERNING CRITIQUES

The time constraints, and sheer number of entries into this contest, meant that I did not have the time or energy to put into my usual level of critiquing. I did everything possible to be as thorough as possible, but I believe that I may have lost some of my politeness in the process.
IF A CRITIQUE SEEMS UNFAIRLY HARSH:
I critique to a purpose: Revision. That means that I critiqued these works with the same harsh eye that I would normally turn to my own work. When I am looking to find ways to improve, I don't always necessarily see the positive things that are throughout the piece. Let me reassure you. I spent an average of an hour and a half on the entries in this contest - that means multiple read through, pondering of issues and ideas, and weighing different word choice - I am not the sort of person who can spend that much time on something without respecting and admiring the work that went into the original piece. Please understand, I loved every piece submitted, even if I did not express it. If you would like me to regale you with the positive strong-points of your piece, I am more than willing - just send me a PM and I will tell you about the things that really worked for me.
IF A CRITIQUE SEEMS VAGUE/CONFUSING:
Again, I was trying to move through a lot of pieces, without having my brain turn to complete mush. There are a few short-hand things that might crop up to be confusing:
Single Words are almost always suggestions for replacement for the word immediately preceding it - these were usually tense or spelling errors, and should not be too complicated.
Comments will almost always follow or interrupt the sentence about which they are talking. I probably screwed up a few times, but I hope that I gave you enough reference to know what I was talking about.
If there is some point that you are confused on - please feel free to contact me. I may not remember immediately what I was thinking, but I promise I will know with a re-read through. If you are confused about anything that I have suggested, please feel free to ask - just be warned, I am in the process of leaving Gaia, and might not be around too much longer, so try to get ahold of me as soon as possible.


AS ALWAYS - THANK YOU EVERYONE!

[calviness]

Help Guide

Nu Sanniang

I would like to join...but..I dont feel confident as a writer in general to critique other works.

Thecrazymusicgirl

what do u mean by critique?

Critiquing is the Bomb! When you revise your own work, you actually do a critique of it. When other writers/teachers/mentors read and comment on your work - they are giving you a critique.

A Critique is simply a well-thought out reaction and analysis of a piece.

The best part, is that you don't have to know what you are doing. When you read a piece of prose, you automatically know whether or not you like it. A critique gives you a chance to look in depth at the piece to see WHY.

Why is this important? Because it is easier to see problems in other people's art, than in your own. As you give critique, you learn the things that make it hard for you to enjoy a piece. Not only that, but critiquing endears you to other people. You took the time to think about someone else's work. That makes them a lot more likely to do the same for you.

Why do you want people to do that? Because it makes your work better. Artistic Integrity aside, your readers will not be in your head, seeing the magic that you see. A good critique can help you to better show them that magic.

If you are still hesitant - don't be! As I said, critiquing takes no experience. When I was first starting, I still swapped critique with some of the writers that I admired. They didn't get as much out of it as I did, I'm sure, but I was still able to spot things that they had missed.

If you are still unsure, the OP/L has given us a really good critiquing guide. (Complete with a guide on responding to critique, and asking for it.) It is aimed at poetry, but most of the tips apply across the board.
Poetry Guide

If you are still unsure, you can check out some great critiques by me and other writers.
Lady TirThe incorrigible FelixThe Lovely Solmyownjunk
You can also see below, Since Sol has already offered up a critique.

As before - Please don't hesitate to enter because you are unsure about your critiquing skills. Just mention that you are new at it, and we will help you out.

[Wing McCallister]

Super sadpanda, Cal...

Have fun with the contest though. razz

[Bait-kun]

You didn't say open so I'm sorry if this post is a bother but here's my sonnet. Also this is on my deviantart so don't think I'm stealing. Hope you like it.

O ye prince of many dour endeavors 1
why would such a nobel partake in death? 2
Objects ye' gods shall avoid forever 3
Stolen from men who curse in thou last breath 4
Hoarding thee entities corrupts thy name 5
May it be, thy demons detested thy fame 6
Doth thou loyalty remain lucid and pure? 7
Or shrouded by morbid night terrors lure 8
O weary prince, rest in the endless herse 9
Deluded, his obsessions turn a curse 10
Thy deceased never have before graven 11
Until thou eternal soul was taken 12
Ye affliction's crow, eating what's inside 13
Whilst in the heavens your tale must confide 14

[phantomkitsune]

The AGWL is a creeping many-tentacled monstrosity, pervading everything with it's awesomeness.

Sad that you won't be popping by anymore. I think when I am done the current round of whatever the heck it is I'm supposed to be doing I will try to find something to submit and also critique everything.

[Nu Sanniang]

I I would like to join...but..I dont feel confident as a writer in general to critique other works.

[Thecrazymusicgirl]

i hav the most dumbest question ever (u can laugh at me )
but what do u mean by critique? what does that mean?
so sorry, i do not know sweatdrop

[The Solarised Night]

You're going? surprised

[The Solarised Night]

Bait-kun

You didn't say open so I'm sorry if this post is a bother but here's my sonnet. Also this is on my deviantart so don't think I'm stealing. Hope you like it.

O ye prince of many dour endeavors 1
why would such a nobel partake in death? 2
Objects ye' gods shall avoid forever 3
Stolen from men who curse in thou last breath 4
Hoarding thee entities corrupts thy name 5
May it be, thy demons detested thy fame 6
Doth thou loyalty remain lucid and pure? 7
Or shrouded by morbid night terrors lure 8
O weary prince, rest in the endless herse 9
Deluded, his obsessions turn a curse 10
Thy deceased never have before graven 11
Until thou eternal soul was taken 12
Ye affliction's crow, eating what's inside 13
Whilst in the heavens your tale must confide 14

Hey Bait, welcome to the thread. I'd like to discuss my thoughts of this piece with you.
First of all, I noticed that you have taken a traditional approach by capitalising every new line. Personally, I am not fond of this because in isn't always grammatically correct (such as capitalising 'or') You don't need to change it though, especially since the traditional format suits the style you've established by including outdated 'olde English' such as 'ye' and 'thee.'

I would like to see more guiding punctuation considering you use a couple of commas here and there. You either need to drop the punctuation completely or go through with it all the way; you can't have both.

Now to the subject manner. I feel as though you start to lead the audience on with this hypothetical question at the beginning but it isn't answered. You get us interested with this question of why the prince wants to partake in death but then brutally change the subject to focus on these vague objects that seem to corrupt the soul. I don't have a very good grasp of the imagery here because the establishing lines differ so greatly (In my opinion) to the two that follow. Considering the first four lines are related by rhyme, I believe it would be more powerful if the subject remained the same within them, otherwise it is just these two very different statements within the one section(?) Does that make sense?

Line 6-7 again you brutally change the topic just when I start to relax into the message and image you are trying to give me.

Line 8 - the word 'lure' seems to be grammatically incorrect and simply added there for the sake of keeping up with the rhyme. It is weak.

Line 9 - ********. Seriously? This is a complete contrast to the opening lines where it seems as though you use positive connotations (noble) to contrast against the clearly negative (death) to, (in my opinion), say that it is a bad thing that the prince wants to die. Now in this line you are practically telling him to. Make up your mind about the message you are trying to send.

Line 10 - Your tense changes in this line and it doesn't make grammatical sense. You go from speaking to the prince, to this jumbled version of third person. I also think this line is weak and has only been added in to keep to the rhyme scheme. Forcing a rhyme doesn't make it better for fitting to the sonnet form; it just makes it weak and sloppy.

Before I even finish analysing this, I want you to tell me, in all honesty, what is the message you are trying to convey? Once you clear up that confusion, then I can help you a bit more.

[calviness]

Wing McCallister

Super sadpanda, Cal...

I know, it is the lamest. But, seeing as I find time to post about once a month, I figure it is time to cut it out. Time to move on, so to speak.

phantomkitsune

Sad that you won't be popping by anymore.

I will miss reading all those backlogs. Luckily, I will get something from you to comfort myself with... I will be excited to see your entry smile

The Solarised Night

You're going?

Yeah. I've gotten a little disconnected from the community, so it's either invest lots of time into reconnecting, or bail. No matter how much I loved it here, I just don't have the time.
Can I also say - thanks for critiquing already! That's like awesomepossum, right there.

[calviness]

Nu Sanniang

I I would like to join...but..I dont feel confident as a writer in general to critique other works.

No worries! Everytime is a good time to start critiquing. You don't have to be a professional writer to give good advice. I just want to hear what you have to say.

Thecrazymusicgirl

i hav the most dumbest question ever (u can laugh at me )
but what do u mean by critique? what does that mean?
so sorry, i do not know

That would only be a silly question if you could easily google the answer. But in writing, we use critique to mean more than its definition. All I am asking is that you spend a little time looking at someone else's entry, and helping them to refine it a little. Does that and the above post help? If not, I can find a simpler explanation somewhere.

[calviness]

Bait-kun

Thanks for the first entry so quick!
I hope that Sol's critique can help you get some good ideas for refining this piece. Good luck!