Rotsab M. Hyolf
phantomkitsune
Rotsab, he didn't come off as a rapist, he just made my stranger-danger-spidey-sense go off. It was effective characterization of a rather terrifying person I would always be worried was about to become a rapist. Her knowing she had power over him didn't come across all that clearly - but again, that may be a case of my reading it on the wrong night. It's very much a your-mileage-may-vary kind of story, and I was apparently driving a Model T.
Ahh, okay. I didn't write women all that often, so I tried to make his power more physical and hers more emotional (crying on a whim, getting him going, so on). I had hoped her face being over his might convey it too. Any tips for how I could have cemented it a bit more; or was it sort of doomed, with her being physically weaker?
Haha, nah, you said you started off wanting them to have violent hatesex, which was exactly how the piece was meant to go; sounds more like I derailed it.
(Also if this is arguing then that is not my intent and I'll stop.
sweatdrop I genuinely want to fix it up; it's one of the first times I've tried romance. xD )
Pigg
Thank you for the critique PK and congrats as well to Rotsab. As I said before, I really admired your piece.
I read the article and wow. It's depressing. I've done a lot of the statistics in my head before, but it's awful to see it laid out in black and white. All the things the writer mentions - checking for exits, assessing for creepiness, staying in a group - I do it all. And no matter what, she's right. It's not going to be completely effective. It's true and it's really uncomfortable.
You too! Your piece was excellent, it was a very fitting win.
3nodding (Of course, this puts us 2-1, so
it is on.
I'm joking! It's an excellent motivator to strive to be better. )
See, the problem with those statistics is that we have no idea what group was checked; downtown New York might have completely different statistics than, say, some rural town in Alaska. Plus, with '1-in-6' it assumes rapists are evenly spread out. On top of
that, 5-in-6 men are
not rapists, which is a little over
86%. Those are some huge statistics. I'm not a fan of fear-mongering articles myself, and the way it's presented seems very slanted towards scaring women.
Should guys go up to women in the middle of a dark alleyway? Probably not without announcing their presence first and asking why she's alone in a dark alley. Should every date be detailed, complete with contact information, because you're afraid your potential date is going to rape and murder you? Probably not; or, if that is necessary, the person needs to look at getting some new boyfriends.
There's nothing wrong with being safe, but when you tell girls that the cashier at McDonald's is planning to rape them there's a serious problem. (Plus, you then have terrified citizens with mace and tasers who wrongfully use it because of the fear-mongering. Case in point; Trayvon Martin.)
It's a really crappy way to portray men, too.
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