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AGWL V - December Monthly

Poll Pimps = TEH SEX 0 0.0% [ 0 ]
Anything Goes! 0.5 50.0% [ 2 ]
Due Dec 31 0.25 25.0% [ 1 ]
Wootles! 0.25 25.0% [ 1 ]
Woot panda! 0 0.0% [ 0 ]
Total Votes:[ 4 ]
FrostedMidnight's avatar

Dangerous Darling

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I quite like the hemmingwayapp VOC, it works fairly well from what I can tell. 3nodding
Recording is up! Thanks to PK for being this month's judge, and busting out a super fast recording.
TheVoiceOfCreation's avatar

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Frosted: I HAVE DECIDED I WILL WRITE THIS ENTIRE ******** NOVEL I AM WORKING ON WITH THAT APP!!!!!! My target audience will appreciate it, I'm sure. I don't know why that entire first sentence had to be in CAPS. It's a pain in the a** considering I use shift not CAPSLOCK. lol
FrostedMidnight's avatar

Dangerous Darling

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Thank you for your comments PK! I am very aware that editing is one of my weaknesses and have struggled to correct it, but I find that what I really need is an extra set of eyes to look over pieces for me most of the time.

I also find your comments about the obese character interesting--I had actually described several characters in more detail in the initial version of the story, but they got taken out for one reason or another. I don't know why the obese body is the only thing that made it through, It definitely wasn't intentional (I'm super fluffy myself, so making fat people evil would be quite hypocritical of me lol).

Still I will try to be more aware of that in the future! Its an interesting thing to think about.
FrostedMidnight's avatar

Dangerous Darling

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VoC, what is your novel about?? Yes, that app is very nice! I'm not sure how much grammar it fixes though, do you know? It only really gave me comments on my sentence length.
phantomkitsune's avatar

Dangerous Enabler

I think it's not necessarily a matter of hypocrisy, but internalizing a lot of really toxic stuff? I know my writing's changed a lot in the past few years as I've tried to root out some of the worst stuff I'd internalized. It's really changed how I write female characters, in particular - mostly getting away from the Joss Whedon mold of Strong Female Characters.
FrostedMidnight's avatar

Dangerous Darling

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Yeah, I could see that, though not in this particular case as it wasn't her obesity that made her a bad person, and she wasn't even "evil" per se, just hella rude (in fact you could argue that the main character has the makings of a villain as she just effectively sentenced that woman to death by letting her pass).
I get really annoyed by rude people in real life and this story was my way to vent by creating a character that had to be rude in order for them to not cause the deaths of others. I intentionally never gendered the main character so that I could pretend every time someone cut me off in traffic maybe if they didn't I would die or something. They are everyone and no one all at the same time (wow that was probably waaay more than you ever wanted to know about that piece, haha).

I know what you mean, my writing has become a vastly different creature than it once was.I've learned so much and I feel like everything I read helps shape me a little, in a good way.

Why no longer strong female characters? or Just not super quirky like whedon?
phantomkitsune's avatar

Dangerous Enabler

I just feel like Whedon has made very particular molds, and a lot of them are really ugly - like, every single one of his female characters has been sexually assaulted, except Black Widow in the Avengers movie, and the opening scene with her interrogation is still hella skeevy until she takes control. And a lot of Whedon's mold is women being complete badasses at all times, which is kind of dehumanizing, in a way. Like, real people are allowed weakness without it being some huge defining thing. So moving away from that kind of mold, more towards characters with dimensionality, has been important to me.

I kind of wish they'd actually make a TV show out of a Tamora Pierce series, because then we'd actually have good diverse examples on TV.

And yeah - I actually quite liked that the narrator wasn't gendered. It was a strength of the story.
PK, what do you mean you don't care a d**k about poetry? D:

And how did I stack up vs my prose-writing competitors? Well done? I'm.... confused.

Sorry for being a butt about this; I just don't think I understood the judging/critique.
phantomkitsune's avatar

Dangerous Enabler

Not that I don't care - I don't usually have a lot to say. Something either works or it doesn't and I have less of a working vocabulary to describe why than I do for prose.

Oh, and you won. I guess I didn't have that anywhere in there clearly.
This is gonna sound stupid but I need to try my hand at prose if I actually want to grow as a writer. Where do I begin?
phantomkitsune's avatar

Dangerous Enabler

Part of it's going to be seeing if you want to approach it the same ways you approach poetry - like, where do you start? Is it a line, a concept, a tone?

'Cause there are some prevailing schools of thought about starting with character or with plot but they're mostly kind of reductive. Like, you need both of those, but not necessarily to start there. The core component of a narrative is to have at least one character who wants something. There's a whole lot of places to go from there, and a bunch of ways to arrive there (like, if you start with the concept of transcendental dolphins you might still end up with Arthur Dent; same with starting with the line "I never could get the hang of Thursdays" ), but that's the core bit.

Since you know how to stick words together, it's mostly going to be form, I guess, so I'd suggest trying a known structure as a first foray, just to see how things have to be blocked out. A three-act structure or kishotenketsu or retelling something famous (fairy tale retellings are some of my favorites) could be a good way to see how the rhythm of it works. There's reading you can do, about structure and the hero's journey and w/e, but that makes it really easy to overthink, and just writing out a structure you know (like action movies or murder mysteries: you know how they go, since they all go the same) can make a lot of it make more sense anyway.
FrostedMidnight's avatar

Dangerous Darling

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Entry

ALMOST

We (almost) succeeded,
The race was (almost) run.
We had a ball, danced down the hall,
it was (almost) fun.

We (almost) got married,
(Almost) had a kid--
Our love (almost) grew,
We (almost) knew
the love our parents did.

And we (almost) grew old together.
We (almost) had it all--
You (almost) got better,
We (almost) beat the doctors' call.

You (almost) squeezed my hand.
You (almost) took a breath.
I laughed and cried,
You (almost) died,
I have (almost) nothing left.

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