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AGWL V - December Monthly

Poll Pimps = TEH SEX 0 0.0% [ 0 ]
Anything Goes! 0.5 50.0% [ 2 ]
Due Dec 31 0.25 25.0% [ 1 ]
Wootles! 0.25 25.0% [ 1 ]
Woot panda! 0 0.0% [ 0 ]
Total Votes:[ 4 ]
Writer Selbe's avatar

Invisible Conversationalist

The Solarised Night
Writer Selbe
Hey, hey, hey. So Solar gets a congratulations because her contest is closing but Selbe gets first post and she gets NOTHING!

Um, what? confused


I got first post on page 1900!!!

WE SHOULD BE PARTYING!
And then the Wingness said to thee, "Facepalm."
The Solarised Night's avatar

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Writer Selbe
The Solarised Night
Writer Selbe
Hey, hey, hey. So Solar gets a congratulations because her contest is closing but Selbe gets first post and she gets NOTHING!

Um, what? confused


I got first post on page 1900!!!

WE SHOULD BE PARTYING!

Calm your farm; there's no need to get worked up over it.
The Love Mutt
Screw WI, come to MA and be my roommate! haha.

[aka my roommate for next year went all crazy and bailed on me sad ]

I moved to MA recently. =P
But I'm living with my boyfriend and we have another roommate already.

Whereabouts in MA are you?
phantomkitsune's avatar

Dangerous Enabler

Sucks about the roommate flaking, TLM.



. . .I have apparently started adventures in podcasting Homestuck fanfiction. What is my life?
Do you need a hug, PK?
phantomkitsune's avatar

Dangerous Enabler

Probably! *hugs*
The Solarised Night's avatar

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phantomkitsune
Probably! *hugs*

*squints closer at your avatar's shoes* I think I would fall over if I wore those.
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Aphrodite f l y t r a p
The Love Mutt
Screw WI, come to MA and be my roommate! haha.

[aka my roommate for next year went all crazy and bailed on me sad ]

I moved to MA recently. =P
But I'm living with my boyfriend and we have another roommate already.

Whereabouts in MA are you?


Worcester area. =] You?
The Love Mutt's avatar

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I should know by next Friday if I got into either/both of the grad schools I applied to.


AHHHHHHHH.
Writer Selbe's avatar

Invisible Conversationalist

The Solarised Night
Writer Selbe
The Solarised Night
Writer Selbe
Hey, hey, hey. So Solar gets a congratulations because her contest is closing but Selbe gets first post and she gets NOTHING!

Um, what? confused


I got first post on page 1900!!!

WE SHOULD BE PARTYING!

Calm your farm; there's no need to get worked up over it.


I can't calm my farm. THE ANIMALS ARE IN HEAT!!
My entry:

The Ritual


There are no trees on the isle, only thick dense shrubs. You must look for a square break in the ground where there is neither grass nor foliage.

It is small and hard to find. Stoop down to your knees and feel with your hands, you won't be able to spot it standing up. You'll know when you find it; the ground is different here. It will feel hot when touched and, if you put your ear against it, you'll hear a steady heartbeat.

Start digging.

It won't take long. The hatch isn't buried that deep. When you find the gate, it will be overrun with vines. It doesn't matter how many times this door is accessed, the vines will always be there.

Clear them away, your hands will start to bleed but ignore them; the door must be completely clean when you open it. If even one stem is on the wrought iron when it's used then you will enter the wrong place and be left to wander an endless tunnel for the duration of one year, the end of which you will awaken upon the shore of the isle, having aged ten years.

If accessed correctly, you'll look down into a deep, shadowed, stone stairwell. The strong odor of rotted mackerel will reach your nostrils. Ignore this and descend. When you've reached the third step, start counting to three hundred OUT LOUD for each step you take from that point on.

You must count to three hundred, the stairs will not end unless you do. Do not try to cheat.

Once you've reached the last step, the stairwell will disappear behind you. The floor will then stretch into two paths, one in front and one behind; you must now choose your path. Be wary for everybody can only complete this ritual once, and once chosen, you cannot turn back.

FRONT
If you chose to go straight from the point where the stairs end, you will continue down a stone paved passage. The rest of your surroundings, at that point, will be completely shadowed. If you try to touch the ground outside of the path you will find nothing there; it is an endless abyss.

Continue down the stone lane, it will gradually widen before you. Soon, you will find yourself walking down a cobblestone road. When you hear the sound of hooves pounding behind you, jump to the side as quickly as possible. If you were too slow, your body would have been trampled to death by the oncoming carriage.

If you survived, the carriage will pull up next to you. DO NOT LOOK INTO THE DRIVER'S FACE.

Keep your head down towards your feet and continue walking in a straight line. No matter what the driver says, do not look up. He will whisper terrifying threats into your ear: ripping your head right off your shoulders, slitting your throat, setting your skull on fire, and other morbid horrors, unless you look up right away. Ignore all of them.

Eventually, the threats will cease, he'll swear under his breath and then he'll tell you a number. It'll differ for any person completing the ritual. Remember this number.

Once he's done, it'll sound like he's driving away. Do not look up yet. Count out loud to one hundred AFTER the sound of his cart has completely dissipated.

You can look up now.

You'll find yourself standing in an area utterly obscured by mist. Follow these steps exactly; for each one take only one step: left, up, left, left, up, right, up, left, up, right, right, up and then up again. With the last step the fog will blow away to reveal a deep chasm that would have awaited you had you ignored these instructions.

You are now standing in the middle of a long yellow carpeted hallway that stretches endlessly out on both sides. Ten feet tall ornate mirrors line the walls only to the front of you, each one is numbered numerically. The one you come out on is arbitrary.

Take the number the carriage driver told you and attach it to the end of your current age. That is the mirror that you must locate.

You'll know when you find the right one; a swirling gray gaseous substance will obscure the entire length of its reflection. Step up close and place your palms flat against the surface. Immediately, a pair of bloodless dead hands will pull you through the glass.

You'll wake up on a thick and wide piece of driftwood, floating on the ocean's tide. Next to your side, you will find enough sustenance to last you until you reach civilization which is where the waves are taking you. The travel will take some five to seven days during which you will be free from misfortune or disaster.

BACK
If you chose to turn around from where the stairs end and disappear, you will find yourself face to face with an elaborate monochrome labyrinth. Whether or not you are good with mazes is insignificant for you suddenly find that you are sinking at a steady pace through the once solid dirt ground.

Try not to struggle in the quicksand-like substance, it will delay his arrival.

Soon, a green glowing sprite will appear before you. It will float a few inches away from your face. The sprite will introduce himself as Glycom, the guardian of the labyrinth path. As awkward as it is with half yourself inside the ground, bow to him. You must do this.

He'll proceed to ask you three questions. The first two will be formulated from facts about your life that should be impossible for him to know; they will be phrased in a way that forces you to admit your sins/faults. While it is simple to answer them correctly (tell the truth and do not try to hide anything), you must do this in a swift manner, for by the time he starts, you'll have already sunken three quarters of the way through.

He'll ask the questions purposely slow, so admit to them as soon as you can.

The third and final question will be: "who do you love most in this world?"

The only correct answer is: "myself, but I respect everyone else."

If you hadn't bowed to Glycom in the beginning, his voice will grow angry here. He'll condemn you as a liar and curse you with a life of misfortune, right before his glowing light devours you. You'll wake up in your bed, inside your home, as if everything had been a dream. Discord and disasters will plague your life from then on. No matter how many times you sail out, you will not be able to find the island again.

If you had done as instructed and bowed to him, Glycom will sound pleased and your entire self will rise from the ground. The floor will solidify. He will now guide you through the maze; Glycom will move promptly so do not lag. When you exit the labyrinth, he will wish you luck before vanishing.

You should now be facing a completely barren white area; it is very cold here. Sounds of thunder roar above you yet you cannot see any clouds, or even the sky for that matter.

Proceed with walking straight. After trekking for about an hour and a half, the voice of your mother will sound behind you; her voice will sound urgent and desperate. Ignore this. She will continue to call out, urging you to help her; the tone of her voice as well as her condition will worsen as you continue to not acknowledge her.

Finally, a strangled scream will pierce the air.

Make a sharp turn to your left; run as fast as you can now.

Count your steps out loud as you're running. Do not miscount! If you feel warm vapor against the back of your neck, run faster. Your mother's voice is warped at this point: garbled and inhumanly high pitched. A distinct hissing and insect-like buzz accompanies her words. She will scream your name in agonizing tones that will echo painfully in your ears; she is trying to slow you down.

Never stop or turn around. Keep running until you get to a hundred steps, exactly. It is vital that you do not do more or less.

No one has ever told of what they see should they miscount.

If done correctly, the screaming will stop. When you look around, you'll now find yourself waist deep in cool blue tinted water, in what appears to be an underwater grotto. The walls are slick black and glisten like recently cooled volcanic rock; it is cold to the touch.

Thunder again roars above you, this time from the outside; through small holes in the cave walls you can see that you are completely surrounded by ocean on all sides.

Now, take a deep breath and dive in. The water deepens farther into the cave but you won't have to go far.

About ten feet from where you dived in, you'll see a merperson that is the opposite gender of yourself. They will nod their head to you and produce from behind their back a glowing white pearl the size of a fist. They will place your hand on top of the jewel.

A strong electric shock will course through you then, making you black out.

You will wake up on a fishing boat. The captain will say they found you unconscious in the middle of the ocean, being carried by a dolphin. The captain's face will be that of the merperson but if you ask them about it they will say they have no idea what you're talking about.

They will advise you, in a stern and terrifying voice, to never speak of those "dreams" to anyone else.

"For your own safety."
________________________________________

If you had chosen the path in front of you, you will find that you age much slower than before. One year for you is the equivalency of ten years for everyone else.

If you had chosen the path behind you, fortune and luck will accompany your chosen profession until your death.

Which path did you choose?
The Solarised Night's avatar

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My god my jaw aches. I got a tooth removed yesterday. Two of the roots had molded into one and a third had wrapped around my jaw bone, bringing a whole 0.9cm of the bone with it. 10 shots of anestethic and I was still screaming my lungs out. I can't open my jaw much more than to fit something the size of my finger in so no chewy foods or apples for me. I don't know if I can go the full 12hrs at uni tomorrow at this rate. sad

I still owe Wing and PK an entry, but all I can do is sleep lately. I have an idea/ outline sketched for PK's and a 2000 word draft for Wing, but nothing is ready. Essays are due in on Friday. Blah. This was the worst time to get all ******** up on pain killers.
Writer Selbe's avatar

Invisible Conversationalist

I know the feeling... of owing an entry.
The Solarised Night's avatar

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.:NOTICE FROM SOLAR:.


Hello everyone, I wanted to announce that after much hard work and determination, I finally have my Custard the Kitten! A seller sold him to me for 30 mil (15 mil pure + 15 mil in items) [By the way, the LMP for custard right now is between 50-60 mil so trust me, it was a bloody good deal] Since some of the items I gave are important to me, I will have to request those at a later date.


A big thank you goes to:

~ Seika Arai, For her amazingly generous donation
~ RhysiePiecey: For being so supportive, and giving me the Hells Prison Bundle as a page prize
~ LoveforChii: For making me smile once a week with those unexpected 20k donations.
~ Mahareta: For putting up with me and holding such wonderful contests that have contributed to my quest
~ Wing McCallister: For guiding me a a writer and awarding me with the February monthly prize, and for just being Wing; nuff said
~ The Everlasting Night (aka Kevin): For telling me I wasn't allowed to spend real money on pixels razz
~Humphrey Poptart and the other GA regs: For having awesome tanks to grab off and for hosting mine.
~ Doppelganger Love, Schizophrenic Chicken, & Dark Rybrin: For always listening to me, bumping the hell out of my BG thread, being there to chat, and never letting me give up on this quest.


BUT WAIT, HERE'S THE GOOD PART!


You may or may not be aware that for a few months now, I have been planning to run a large giveaway called: Cirque Du Martini's Plushie Carnivale. I will shortly be creating a circus/ carnival themed giveaway thread where every item on gaia ending in "plush" or "plushie" will be up for grabs! Due to the completion of the Custard quest several months earlier than expected, the Plushie Carnivale will be opening in the next two months!


SO IN CONCLUSION:


~ I have my amazing pixelated cat
~ I truly appreciate everything that everyone has done for me
~ I need to work my a** off to get my items back
~ A kick a** give away will be coming your way as soon as I get the funds together



THANK YOU ALL!

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