Suggestions Please?

[PrincessNeko]

Before I expound on my story, would you please give my story some actual suggestions?

The link is in my signature.

I'm a little disheartened that my rating is so low, but nobody will tell me what their issue is with the work.

[hatred corsair]

hmmm i think your topic is nice...how bout creating a plot wherein the antagonist and protagonist aren't clearly distinguished and..uhhmmm series of events wherein the next thing that will happen isn't conspicious