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supernovacaine's Husbando

Witty Lunatic

Entered a poem into the arena for the first time in a LONG time.

Now I'm NOT looking for votes, I'm actually just looking for people to read and comment perhaps?

Constructive criticism, you know?

It's not the longest thing in the world, but it's something I feel very proud of.

And this is the link...!

Thank you.. :3

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You seem to use a lot of half-rhyme, which I like. But if I read it out loud, the times when the half-rhyme isn't present stand out much more because of the times that you do use half-rhyme. My question is, do you do this deliberately? Or is the half-rhyme more just the way it turned out? The lonely ends (the ones that don't follow the tentative rhyme scheme) make it seem like the half-rhyme isn't deliberate, so I wanted to ask.

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