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MysticalBurrito's avatar

Savage Punching Bag

Okay, forgive me if this is in the wrong area, but I need help on the tone of a short story I have been writing. There are two alternative plots, one focused towards younger people and one that would probably have more appeal towards teens.

The first story would be about a hamster that has always wanted to become a detective and it trying to work his way up to detective status. The main conflict would be with a mouse named Nancy who kidnaps his best friend, Kevin. I also want to add some extremely light romance between Skippy and Kevin's sister, Brenda. Eventually the story would end with Skippy (main character) defeating Nancy in the factory she would be holding Kevin in.

The second story would be about a man who wants to become a detective to help avenge the death of his father during his childhood. He would have a female partner who goes on all these adventures to try and locate the man who killed his father. There would definitely be some romance between him and the female partner, but it wouldn't be the focal point of the story.

Which one seems to be more entertaining? Which one would grab your attention?
Both sound interesting to me, although the hamster one seems more developed than the detective one at this time.

But then again, it's the execution (e.g. how you write it) that will determine if it's good, not the idea itself. I've seen some awesome ideas turn out horrible, and crazy ideas turn out expectantly well. It all depends on what you do with it.

Out of curiosity, why do you ask?
MysticalBurrito's avatar

Savage Punching Bag

Kairi Nightingale
Both sound interesting to me, although the hamster one seems more developed than the detective one at this time.

But then again, it's the execution (e.g. how you write it) that will determine if it's good, not the idea itself. I've seen some awesome ideas turn out horrible, and crazy ideas turn out expectantly well. It all depends on what you do with it.

Out of curiosity, why do you ask?


I've been trying to write a serious story that would have some appeal to an older audience, but didn't know if it would be interesting enough. The only reason the one about the hamster is developed a lot more is because I've been writing short stories about him since I was little. 3nodding
MysticalBurrito
Kairi Nightingale
Both sound interesting to me, although the hamster one seems more developed than the detective one at this time.

But then again, it's the execution (e.g. how you write it) that will determine if it's good, not the idea itself. I've seen some awesome ideas turn out horrible, and crazy ideas turn out expectantly well. It all depends on what you do with it.

Out of curiosity, why do you ask?


I've been trying to write a serious story that would have some appeal to an older audience, but didn't know if it would be interesting enough. The only reason the one about the hamster is developed a lot more is because I've been writing short stories about him since I was little. 3nodding


lol that's cute.

As for the serious story, you just need to develop it more. Like I said, the appeal is doesn't just lie in the idea. Characters, setting, plot, and how you write it all have a part in making something interesting. For now, don't worry about what others may think of the story. If you want to write it, then write! Make it something that your happy with. Then, if you really want to, you can share it with others and see what they think.
Novama's avatar

Dangerous Phantom

MysticalBurrito
Okay, forgive me if this is in the wrong area, but I need help on the tone of a short story I have been writing. There are two alternative plots, one focused towards younger people and one that would probably have more appeal towards teens.

The first story would be about a hamster that has always wanted to become a detective and it trying to work his way up to detective status. The main conflict would be with a mouse named Nancy who kidnaps his best friend, Kevin. I also want to add some extremely light romance between Skippy and Kevin's sister, Brenda. Eventually the story would end with Skippy (main character) defeating Nancy in the factory she would be holding Kevin in.

The second story would be about a man who wants to become a detective to help avenge the death of his father during his childhood. He would have a female partner who goes on all these adventures to try and locate the man who killed his father. There would definitely be some romance between him and the female partner, but it wouldn't be the focal point of the story.

Which one seems to be more entertaining? Which one would grab your attention?


Eat the hamster! and write about a bunny instead 3nodding
pretty_silver11's avatar

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The hamster seems more developed although I do like the idea of a male detective.
MysticalBurrito's avatar

Savage Punching Bag

pretty_silver11
The hamster seems more developed although I do like the idea of a male detective.

I've started the serious story line and have been working on character outlines for the hamster one. Human characters are so much harder to come up with. sweatdrop

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