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iAmYourSeduction's avatar

Generous Sweetheart

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Your in my head and you've got my heart.
Even if you played me from the very start.
Time is passing us by while we slowly drift apart.
I dread the day that will mark the end of us


This is and old poem, decided it needed some fixing. Was looking for ideas, feedback. Ect.
iAmYourSeduction's avatar

Generous Sweetheart

6,650 Points
  • Generous 100
  • Object of Affection 150
  • Somebody Likes You 100
Please don't bump unless your topic falls off the first page. This is an extremely (and I mean EXTREMELY) slow forum. Trust me, your topic is gonna be up here for at least a month before you have to even think about bumping.

With that said, we don't get much traffic in here and as I have no experience with critiquing poetry, may I suggest trying to post it in the poetry sub-forum? You'll probably have better luck there. ^.^

Good luck with your writing!

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