Judge My Entry!

[Arkhangel Hamatiel Zuriel]

its a short story about a haunted house, nothing new there, but i would like it if people could tell me what they thought of it. my grammer and spelling are really bad, but i checked it many times over. so here it is, and dont worry about making me upset. i want your thoughts

http://www.gaiaonline.com/arena/writing/fiction/vote/?entry_id=100012419

[Commander Oblivious]

I commented on it; would you be willing to critique mine as well?
[/shamelessadvertising]