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WanderingAnya's avatar

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I've been working on this story for the last 4-5 months about a couple of RPG characters my best friend and I made last year. What I'm asking is this: is my RPG character (Anais) a Mary-Sue? I've been doing everything I can to avoid it and I want to make sure I didn't go too far in that venture. I am asking you to be objective about this and to tell me what you think. The story she's in is about her changing into a better person so keep that in mind.
Here's her bio.
Anais (Uh-nye-ess)
Age: 15-16
Height: 5'4"
Weight: 115 lbs.
Appearance: Lanky, angular, small chested, wiry body of dirty, rough, sallow skin
Shaggy black hair that ends at her shoulder blades
Sharp orange-brown eyes
Personality: Cowardly, sarcastic, intelligent, gluttonous, bitter jerk with a possibly
big heart (we won't know for sure until the tests come back Monday)
She also doesn't like showing her emotions or worse, admitting to them and
acts like she doesn't care for anyone but herself (though there are times when this
isn't an act)
Past: Mother was killed when she was young for unknown reasons
Anais never properly moved on from this, making her quite bitter in matters
concerning family, friendship and romantic relationships
After her mother died, she lived on the streets of her little village stealing spare
change and food that no one would miss at the shops and stands
She was a very angry, jealous child
She never liked Talutah when they were kids because of Talutah's standing in the
village (her grandfather was the village leader) until Mecklar came to the village
to retrieve supplies lost to the nearby Goblin Clan, taking her and Talutah with him
Under his tutelage she learned about honor and courage and how to best use her skills in
battle
Weapons: Daggers are hidden all over her arms, legs and torso and two long knives on each
hip
She's also flexible, quick and silent, not on par of an assassin's skills but
perhaps when she's older . . .
Vincent Fiorelli's avatar

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As far as I can see here, she doesn't read like a Mary-Sue. Looks like she's a bit of a 'tsundere' with a bitter past, lonesome and self-sufficient.

She's quick and agile, yes, but she doesn't appear to have any qualities that make her outstanding or -perfect- in any way, at least not yet.

I don't think she's (or will turn into) a Mary-Sue.
How is she cowardly if she learned how to be courageous from her teacher? And why would she want to kill people for a living as an assassin later in life if she's suppose to be honorable? Isn't she suppose to change for the better?

Of course, those contradictions (if they are, that is) don't make her mary-sue. It really depends on how you write whether she turns out to be a mary-sue or not. All profiles seem very generic at first glance but it's how the characters actually interact within the story that makes them interesting. That's what I believe, anyway.
WanderingAnya's avatar

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Kairi Nightingale
How is she cowardly if she learned how to be courageous from her teacher? And why would she want to kill people for a living as an assassin later in life if she's suppose to be honorable? Isn't she suppose to change for the better?

Of course, those contradictions (if they are, that is) don't make her mary-sue. It really depends on how you write whether she turns out to be a mary-sue or not. All profiles seem very generic at first glance but it's how the characters actually interact within the story that makes them interesting. That's what I believe, anyway.

Those things are referring to the RP story I used her in last year. And the potential assassin thing is just something I used as a description for her fighting style. I'm sorry for not making that clear.
WanderingAnya's avatar

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Avun Shidino
As far as I can see here, she doesn't read like a Mary-Sue. Looks like she's a bit of a 'tsundere' with a bitter past, lonesome and self-sufficient.

She's quick and agile, yes, but she doesn't appear to have any qualities that make her outstanding or -perfect- in any way, at least not yet.

I don't think she's (or will turn into) a Mary-Sue.

What's a "tsundere"? sweatdrop
StarlessAnya
Kairi Nightingale
How is she cowardly if she learned how to be courageous from her teacher? And why would she want to kill people for a living as an assassin later in life if she's suppose to be honorable? Isn't she suppose to change for the better?

Of course, those contradictions (if they are, that is) don't make her mary-sue. It really depends on how you write whether she turns out to be a mary-sue or not. All profiles seem very generic at first glance but it's how the characters actually interact within the story that makes them interesting. That's what I believe, anyway.

Those things are referring to the RP story I used her in last year. And the potential assassin thing is just something I used as a description for her fighting style. I'm sorry for not making that clear.


I'm sorry but I don't see why you can't change the details to make sense just because it was based off a role play....

An assassin is an occupation. It doesn't have any particular fighting style attached to it and it wouldn't need one seeing as all real martial arts have deadly techniques. They originated out of various wars, after all. Hence, they were originally made to kill enemies.

Assassins kill people for money. It doesn't matter how.

If you want her to have a fighting style, then you should research various martial arts. Even if you don't find one you like, it's possible to use the information on each of them to make up your own.
wink
WanderingAnya's avatar

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Kairi Nightingale
StarlessAnya
Kairi Nightingale
How is she cowardly if she learned how to be courageous from her teacher? And why would she want to kill people for a living as an assassin later in life if she's suppose to be honorable? Isn't she suppose to change for the better?

Of course, those contradictions (if they are, that is) don't make her mary-sue. It really depends on how you write whether she turns out to be a mary-sue or not. All profiles seem very generic at first glance but it's how the characters actually interact within the story that makes them interesting. That's what I believe, anyway.

Those things are referring to the RP story I used her in last year. And the potential assassin thing is just something I used as a description for her fighting style. I'm sorry for not making that clear.


I'm sorry but I don't see why you can't change the details to make sense just because it was based off a role play....

An assassin is an occupation. It doesn't have any particular fighting style attached to it and it wouldn't need one seeing as all real martial arts have deadly techniques. They originated out of various wars, after all. Hence, they were originally made to kill enemies.

Assassins kill people for money. It doesn't matter how.

If you want her to have a fighting style, then you should research various martial arts. Even if you don't find one you like, it's possible to use the information on each of them to make up your own.
wink

I will update the bio when my semester ends and have a little more time. I didn't realize I did that until earlier today. sweatdrop But thank you for the idea on the martial arts research. I really appreciate it. It's good to have someone to look at all the loopholes I missed so I can fix them (eventually). smile
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Kairi Nightingale
How is she cowardly if she learned how to be courageous from her teacher? And why would she want to kill people for a living as an assassin later in life if she's suppose to be honorable? Isn't she suppose to change for the better?

Of course, those contradictions (if they are, that is) don't make her mary-sue. It really depends on how you write whether she turns out to be a mary-sue or not. All profiles seem very generic at first glance but it's how the characters actually interact within the story that makes them interesting. That's what I believe, anyway.


I don't really see this as a contradiction. One is describing her nature the other speaks on how she manages that nature. You can be cowardly as a point of someone's natural character and then learn and grow to be strong or "courageous" as a way to deal with that nature, even if that strength is learned.

So, I disagree on that point.

For the character, I am in agreement with Kairi here. She doesn't seem too Mary Sue-ish, but most times modern Mary Sue-ing isn't in the character, but the actions and role in the story.
Space Uppercut


I don't really see this as a contradiction. One is describing her nature the other speaks on how she manages that nature. You can be cowardly as a point of someone's natural character and then learn and grow to be strong or "courageous" as a way to deal with that nature, even if that strength is learned.

So, I disagree on that point.

For the character, I am in agreement with Kairi here. She doesn't seem too Mary Sue-ish, but most times modern Mary Sue-ing isn't in the character, but the actions and role in the story.



A coward is one who lets their fears drive their actions. Someone with courage follows through on their actions even if they are scared. They don't let their fears sway them while a coward would. She could have been a coward at one time and then learned to be brave but she can't be both at the same time. At least, I don't see how that would work. confused

StarlessAnya
I will update the bio when my semester ends and have a little more time. I didn't realize I did that until earlier today. But thank you for the idea on the martial arts research. I really appreciate it. It's good to have someone to look at all the loopholes I missed so I can fix them (eventually).


Your welcome. Good luck on your writing and research. smile
Space Uppercut's avatar

Dangerous Lunatic

Kairi Nightingale
A coward is one who lets their fears drive their actions. Someone with courage follows through on their actions even if they are scared. They don't let their fears sway them while a coward would. She could have been a coward at one time and then learned to be brave but she can't be both at the same time. At least, I don't see how that would work. confused


Think of it as a struggle. Fear is her original "go-to response". Some people find courage as a natural response or naturally know how to control that fear. Others have to learn to control that fear. Someone can be a coward in nature but still be brave as bravery isn't the absence of fear, but the mastery and control of it.

Forgot who I paraphrased there.

So, perhaps I am not saying she is a coward but a "coward in nature" or "naturally a coward" rather than letting it control her, she struggles and fights with her weakness.
Space Uppercut
Kairi Nightingale
A coward is one who lets their fears drive their actions. Someone with courage follows through on their actions even if they are scared. They don't let their fears sway them while a coward would. She could have been a coward at one time and then learned to be brave but she can't be both at the same time. At least, I don't see how that would work. confused


Think of it as a struggle. Fear is her original "go-to response". Some people find courage as a natural response or naturally know how to control that fear. Others have to learn to control that fear. Someone can be a coward in nature but still be brave as bravery isn't the absence of fear, but the mastery and control of it.

Forgot who I paraphrased there.

So, perhaps I am not saying she is a coward but a "coward in nature" or "naturally a coward" rather than letting it control her, she struggles and fights with her weakness.


Okay, I see what you're getting at but that point wasn't very clear in her post so I decided to bring it up as something to think about.
Space Uppercut's avatar

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Kairi Nightingale
Okay, I see what you're getting at but that point wasn't very clear in her post so I decided to bring it up as something to think about.


Oh, agreed.

I wasn't only being an anti-thesis to your thesis so synthesis could occur.

Non-communist meaning: I was only arguing and playing devil's advocate not to argue with you, but for her benefit. Deferment being a great place to grow ideas.
WanderingAnya's avatar

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Ok, now I got an idea on how to work with the coward/courage thing. It was giving me some trouble last night (as bugging me) but maybe my idea will work . . . idk. I'll have to write it down and talk with my best friend about it to iron out the minor stuff, then i'll post up here and see what you think could be improved. The plot itself needs a lot of work too . . . arugh!! so much to do for this story crying but i love it. whee
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StarlessAnya
Ok, now I got an idea on how to work with the coward/courage thing. It was giving me some trouble last night (as bugging me) but maybe my idea will work . . . idk. I'll have to write it down and talk with my best friend about it to iron out the minor stuff, then i'll post up here and see what you think could be improved. The plot itself needs a lot of work too . . . arugh!! so much to do for this story crying but i love it. whee

also, what's a Tsundere?
Space Uppercut
Kairi Nightingale
Okay, I see what you're getting at but that point wasn't very clear in her post so I decided to bring it up as something to think about.


Oh, agreed.

I wasn't only being an anti-thesis to your thesis so synthesis could occur.

Non-communist meaning: I was only arguing and playing devil's advocate not to argue with you, but for her benefit. Deferment being a great place to grow ideas.


lol No worries. I like conversation.

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