AnimeCobb
Nothing bad really happens to the characters, and what I write about doesn't go against my religion. But no matter what I write it just reminds me of bad things I've done and maybe that I'm not forgiven. And yes, most of the time I write before I have finished school work, and I write until like 2 AM and no homework is done. And when I get to school the next morning, I get in trouble and I TRY the homework but Math especially is too hard.
Math is only hard because you're not putting the effort into practicing it via homework. Trust me, it's not my strong suit either, but it's the only kind of homework I actually made a point doing
because I knew I needed the practice. If you need help, ask your parents. Ask your teacher for tutoring. Ask friends for help (but don't cheat off them. You'll never get it that way.) Put the effort in!
Reschedule your writing. Tell yourself that you can't write until after your homework is done. This will take some discipline. I can't hold your hand and make you do this; this is a decision you have to make and uphold for yourself. Writing is only a distraction if you make it a distraction. If you really love writing, try making it a reward instead. See how it goes. If it doesn't work out, try something else. But
do something about it!
Now, about your feelings toward writing. I still don't quite understand where you are coming from but from the sounds of it, it's not your writing that's the problem. I can't help but feel that you're just blaming it on the writing. So, you've done something shameful from the past and you're worried that you won't be forgiven? Okay, who do you want forgiveness from? What makes you think that you aren't already forgiven?
If you tell me more about these actions, I could probably be of more help but I'd hate to invade your personal life, especially when I'm just a stranger. So let me tell you how I feel about forgiveness.
It starts with yourself. If you can't forgive yourself for something that you've done, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I've done some stupid stuff, and people have forgiven me for it. But if I'm still upset at myself for doing it, then it doesn't matter. I'm still going to feel guilty and ashamed.
So this how I get over that feeling. I talk about it to someone I trust; to someone I know who will knock some sense into me. Most of the time, I laugh about it in the end. Because chances are ten years from now, heck maybe even ten days from now, it won't matter what I did. And if there's really nothing else you can do about it; what else is there to do? If it's something really bad, however, I try to think of ways I can make things better. But doing either of those things are meaningless unless I get over myself first.
In short, ask yourself this: In the end, does it really matter that you messed up? Will this affect you later on in life in a big way? Is there a way to make it better? If so, then do what you can, and see what happens. If not, move on. Don't linger on the past. Learn from your mistakes and look toward a brighter future.
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