crtiques on my entry

[Pavil Roma]

http://www.gaiaonline.com/arena/fiction/fiction/vote/?entry_id=100121009
I seriously spent a while perfecting this short story, adding what i thought my meaning on it was, and allowing other meanings to be drawn from it.

for the record, I meant for it to be my take on internet trolling, but i've got a few people tell me the meaning goes much deeper then that, so please tell me what you think
oh, and vote if you'd like biggrin

[reggae_232]

hey!..
..still new here!!!!!!!!..
..hope too make new friends!!..
..er, so what now?..
redface

[LooKat]

It was a pretty good story, but it needs some more work. The first paragraph was a little shaky and repetitive. Good luck with your writing!