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Aha's avatar

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I'm not sure if this is going to make sense to you or not, but try writing about what the sex was like without writing the sex itself. Use short, clipped sentences and give the reader how it felt instead of what it was.

Is is rough and hard, all hands and tongues and no finesse? Is is slow and sensual, with gentle touches that ghost over skin? Is it sloppy and frenzied or precise and intense? Maybe casual and playful?

There are many ways to write a sex scene. They can be a detailed play by play that only focuses on what went where, they can just be the emotions, fade to black, or one that focuses on the thoughts of one or both characters with a few minor references to positioning.

If you don't want smut, then go with the more benign details. We all know about the v****a insert p***s part, so you can avoid mentioning it all together and still have a decent sex scene.
I read somewhere that all good sex scenes are about something other than sex. If your sex scene is just about sex, it's pornography. When you describe what you want out of these scene, it's not clear why the guy needs to be with this woman. Is she just his sexual equal, or is there something else there that makes him need to be with her? The something else is what you need to focus on getting across in the midst of p***s-in-v****a.
crocodile tear



In my own opinion, I agree with piggg. It's almost disgusting to read a story that describes an intimate sex scene without any emotion whatsoever. Your readers should feel like they are reading something suspenseful, not pornography. You should include little innuendos to remind the reader what they are doing, but include emotion on what your main character is feeling. Are they happy, guilty, excited, lustful? All his/her emotions should be included in detail.
*snipped, *********
xNuclearWonderlandx's avatar

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Given what you outlined in you OP, I think you'll need to work on a scene that is more about build-up and not at all about physical description, but I;m sure you're already well aware of this. =)

Sex scenes ... Funnily enough, I've actually come across some that I thought were, not so much integral to the story, but they weren't out of place. Granted most of these scenes were extremely graphic, and followed by graphic scenes of torture, so definitely not what you're going for. What I'm trying to say is that it does depend.

If your characters need one another, it could be the ideas of yearning and desire that would fit well within the scene itself. There's no need for a description of the physical act itself - absolutely do get inside your character's heads, depending on whose perspective you're writing from, it could vary, but there really is no problem with internalizing the narrative when it comes to scenes like these. Go for what I'd call an understated sex scene, however paradoxical that may seem - in terms of the physical, if it comes to it, small things. A single touch or kiss, how it's orchestrated - there's no need for emphasis on the act itself. =)
crocodile tear
Thanks for the replies. I'm looking more for something in the middle, I don't want to a simple fade to black and I certain don't want erotica, I need something that is tasteful and some remarks on the act but also converys the transformation that's occuring. So some advice on how to write tastefully would be handy.


By all means describe the foreplay and tantalise the reader, but don't get stuck doing something distasteful. Fade out instead of writing it from first kiss to orgasm.
Gosh, so many people here seem anti-sex.

Personally, I write a lot of porn, and I'm good at it. It ain't tasteful, but I enjoy it.

It depends on what you're writing. Sticking a thousand word, detailed sex scene into a fantasy book or something wouldn't be a good idea. However, you're writing a romance, which often includes a bit of erotica.

Personally, I'd go for it. And I wouldn't use nice words about it, either, like 'member' or 'petals' or whatever people use these days. But if you're aiming for a Mills and Boon type thing, they're probably not going to go for words that talk about actual anatomy.

SO. I'd suggest reading some of those books. You can pick 'em up real cheap in any second hand book store. You'll learn all about 'dewy entrance' and 'throbbing manhood' in no time.
DarknessofHeavenandDreams's avatar

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ofallthethingyouknow
Gosh, so many people here seem anti-sex.


There's a pro-sex thread in the writers resources that would probably help the OP.
crocodile tear's avatar

Feral Strawberry

ofallthethingyouknow
Gosh, so many people here seem anti-sex.

Personally, I write a lot of porn, and I'm good at it. It ain't tasteful, but I enjoy it.

It depends on what you're writing. Sticking a thousand word, detailed sex scene into a fantasy book or something wouldn't be a good idea. However, you're writing a romance, which often includes a bit of erotica.

Personally, I'd go for it. And I wouldn't use nice words about it, either, like 'member' or 'petals' or whatever people use these days. But if you're aiming for a Mills and Boon type thing, they're probably not going to go for words that talk about actual anatomy.

SO. I'd suggest reading some of those books. You can pick 'em up real cheap in any second hand book store. You'll learn all about 'dewy entrance' and 'throbbing manhood' in no time.


I'm not writing a romance. The story is actually about a cult leader, the cult isn't doing well, who finds a woman that is equal to him, when their relationship is understood they go on to kill a bunch of people.

I don't want the sex to come out as porn or Mills & Boon, but everything I keep writing comes out sounding like Mills & Boon, which was why I came to the WF.


So instead I've written the sex and the emotion seperately and am just gonna combine them till I get the tasteful, non-porn and non-Mills & Boon sex scene I want. Thanks to everyone who actually gave advice, but this thread can die now.
Mortok's avatar

Tipsy Exhibitionist

ofallthethingyouknow
Gosh, so many people here seem anti-sex.

Personally, I write a lot of porn, and I'm good at it. It ain't tasteful, but I enjoy it.

It depends on what you're writing. Sticking a thousand word, detailed sex scene into a fantasy book or something wouldn't be a good idea. However, you're writing a romance, which often includes a bit of erotica.

Personally, I'd go for it. And I wouldn't use nice words about it, either, like 'member' or 'petals' or whatever people use these days. But if you're aiming for a Mills and Boon type thing, they're probably not going to go for words that talk about actual anatomy.

SO. I'd suggest reading some of those books. You can pick 'em up real cheap in any second hand book store. You'll learn all about 'dewy entrance' and 'throbbing manhood' in no time.

I don't think anybody here is opposed to sex. I have nothing against porn, I read and watch it fairly often.

But in a work that is not porn, and especially in a work where the romance is a side plot and not even the main narrative, sex scenes tend to be unnecessary, dull and often jarring. It's not that they're bad (although they often are), it's that they're so utterly pointless. And I feel the same way about lengthy sex scenes in visual media like movies and particularly videogames. Technology in that medium hasn't yet progressed to the point where character models can even hug or kiss convincingly, let alone ********.

Sex scenes add little if anything in terms of plot and/or characterization. The act itself can be integral to plot or character development. In terms of the relationship between the two (or more) characters involved, it's probably very significant. But it is enough for an intelligent reader to simply know that sex occurred. The significance is apparent from the get-go. We don't need every detail, or even any details. It's unlikely that every new position is going to bring about a sudden epiphany.

But if an author is determined to write a sex scene, that's their prerogative. As a reader, I can skim it or skip it entirely.
Mortok
ofallthethingyouknow
Gosh, so many people here seem anti-sex.

Personally, I write a lot of porn, and I'm good at it. It ain't tasteful, but I enjoy it.

It depends on what you're writing. Sticking a thousand word, detailed sex scene into a fantasy book or something wouldn't be a good idea. However, you're writing a romance, which often includes a bit of erotica.

Personally, I'd go for it. And I wouldn't use nice words about it, either, like 'member' or 'petals' or whatever people use these days. But if you're aiming for a Mills and Boon type thing, they're probably not going to go for words that talk about actual anatomy.

SO. I'd suggest reading some of those books. You can pick 'em up real cheap in any second hand book store. You'll learn all about 'dewy entrance' and 'throbbing manhood' in no time.

I don't think anybody here is opposed to sex. I have nothing against porn, I read and watch it fairly often.

But in a work that is not porn, and especially in a work where the romance is a side plot and not even the main narrative, sex scenes tend to be unnecessary, dull and often jarring. It's not that they're bad (although they often are), it's that they're so utterly pointless. And I feel the same way about lengthy sex scenes in visual media like movies and particularly videogames. Technology in that medium hasn't yet progressed to the point where character models can even hug or kiss convincingly, let alone ********.

Sex scenes add little if anything in terms of plot and/or characterization. The act itself can be integral to plot or character development. In terms of the relationship between the two (or more) characters involved, it's probably very significant. But it is enough for an intelligent reader to simply know that sex occurred. The significance is apparent from the get-go. We don't need every detail, or even any details. It's unlikely that every new position is going to bring about a sudden epiphany.

But if an author is determined to write a sex scene, that's their prerogative. As a reader, I can skim it or skip it entirely.


Like I said, I think it depends what you're writing? If you're writing a romance, a book where a romance is significant, erotica or porn, then sex scenes have a place.

If what you're writing is something else, then it depends what you're writing and how you do it. I'm not going to say that a sex scene never has a place in a fantasy work or a non-romance because I've seen it done well (Neil Gaiman, Mark Haddon, Chuck Palahniuk). But that doesn't mean it always has a place.
Iyo3469's avatar

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yeah, focus more on a few things leading up to it, and instead of a fade to black, skip to the end. Just focus on the characters and not the act, it'd come off as awkward otherwise
Oriole Lyric's avatar

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If you have issues writing one, I find my best inspirations looking up pictures like... biggrin Yaoi or some lovey scenes or even some smut will do, imagination carries you a long way, and it gets you in the mood.

Second there are some great writers among the crap online. Fanfiction is a good way to see how others write it.

Third there is a free book on the NOOK if you own one called Viridis,. its a steampunk romance, and there are some very hot, warm, and fluffy scenes in there so there is a good variety in it. And nothing that will put your panties in a not or too hot and bothered but enough to get you thinking.
Elune_StarDust_Ray's avatar

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It's okay to write this content, but keep it to minimum point.
Maybe some of the readers are still underage, duh rolleyes
Mortok's avatar

Tipsy Exhibitionist

Elune_StarDust_Ray
It's okay to write this content, but keep it to minimum point.
Maybe some of the readers are still underage, duh rolleyes

Why does that matter, and why is it her job to protect underage readers from sexual content?

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