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crocodile tear's avatar

Feral Strawberry

Hello all, I'm looking for some advice on writing a sex scene.

It isn't an issue if it's graphic or breezed over, but its important to the story, the characters had a holiday fling and he's come home months after the fling and realised that he needs her. Its the changing point for both of them, its not love, more necessity. It's all about passion, he's this dominant force and she is going to be his equal.

The opening of the scene is she's thought about the voicemail he left her, decided to go and see him at his hotel dressed in a chemise and some heels. They don't speak and just go for it. I'm not looking for someone to write it for me, just some advice on how to make it sound not as ponsey as it is currently coming out when I write it.
Mortok's avatar

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All the sex scenes I ever read were unnecessary at best, and laughable rubbish at worst. My personal inclination would be to do a tasteful 'fade to black'.

As long as your description sounds at all similar to how human sexual intercourse actually works (assuming that's what you're going for), I'd say you're ahead of the curve.
I agree, most of these scenes feel unnecessary to me, and a tasteful "fade to black" is the most acceptable I've come across.

Just remember to focus on the intensity of their emotions, as the physical plays little role in what you're aiming for. Physical need is still an emotion, and it sounds like your characters are going through a complex emotional process for them to both conclude that they need sex with each other, to the point where they don't even need to say anything and just start doing it. Don't try to get specific with physical actions, it doesn't matter how he spread her or what position they were in or the naughty things they did. Lead with an emotional interplay with suggestive physical actions and finish with a "fade to black".
DarknessofHeavenandDreams's avatar

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A sex scene is like any other scene. Don't include it if you don't need to; add some something to character and/or plot if you do include it.
Fade to black.
I_Write_Ivre's avatar

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Find erotica books and study how the sex scenes do and don't work.

There's nothing wrong with erotica when it's done well.
crocodile tear's avatar

Feral Strawberry

Thanks for the replies. I'm looking more for something in the middle, I don't want to a simple fade to black and I certain don't want erotica, I need something that is tasteful and some remarks on the act but also converys the transformation that's occuring. So some advice on how to write tastefully would be handy.
Sinann of Erin's avatar

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If you want a sex scene, I think at least that scene would qualify as "erotica". It's different from "smut".

Anyway, what I think I_Write_Ivre might have meant (or at least what I think is a good thing to take from it) is that you'll probably want to read some sex scenes before writing one to see how they do it. Erotica novels are the quickest, most obvious place to find it.

Personally, I like the "fade to black", myself. I haven't ever come across a sex scene that was necessary, but I can understand how you would. If you don't want to focus on the actual sex, though, leave most of those details out and try to focus on how the cahracters are feeling. That, I think, would be the best way to handle a necessary, transformative sex scene.
crocodile tear's avatar

Feral Strawberry

Maybe it would count as erotica, it isn't really the area of the spectrum I wanted to get to, most hints of what they were doing without it sounding ridiculous or making dodgy p***s references.

While I appreciate the repsonses, I am not interested in hearing people's preference, I want advise on how to write a mix of emotion and sex that captures the lust and the bonding of the characters without going too deeply into sex or too unncessarily into their emotions.
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crocodile tear
Maybe it would count as erotica, it isn't really the area of the spectrum I wanted to get to, most hints of what they were doing without it sounding ridiculous or making dodgy p***s references.

That's a good start to learning what doesn't work.

crocodile tear
While I appreciate the repsonses, I am not interested in hearing people's preference, I want advise on how to write a mix of emotion and sex that captures the lust and the bonding of the characters without going too deeply into sex or too unncessarily into their emotions.

Then write that. Don't add bad p***s references, focus on emotions, and write sex. You don't need us for that.
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crocodile tear
Maybe it would count as erotica, it isn't really the area of the spectrum I wanted to get to, most hints of what they were doing without it sounding ridiculous or making dodgy p***s references.

While I appreciate the repsonses, I am not interested in hearing people's preference, I want advise on how to write a mix of emotion and sex that captures the lust and the bonding of the characters without going too deeply into sex or too unncessarily into their emotions.

I did try to offer suggestions; I'm sorry if the half sentence about my preference bothered you...but you asked for advice, and if some people think the advice should be "don't bother, it's a bad idea," they are entitled to do so.
crocodile tear's avatar

Feral Strawberry

Sinann of Erin
crocodile tear
Maybe it would count as erotica, it isn't really the area of the spectrum I wanted to get to, most hints of what they were doing without it sounding ridiculous or making dodgy p***s references.

While I appreciate the repsonses, I am not interested in hearing people's preference, I want advise on how to write a mix of emotion and sex that captures the lust and the bonding of the characters without going too deeply into sex or too unncessarily into their emotions.

I did try to offer suggestions; I'm sorry if the half sentence about my preference bothered you...but you asked for advice, and if some people think the advice should be "don't bother, it's a bad idea," they are entitled to do so.


I don't agree that "I like fade to black" is advise, its an opinion. You don't feel that it is necessary where as in my opinion it is.

I'm looking more for "When I go about writing this sort of scene I follow this process," or stuff like the erotica comment, that was a useful idea.
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crocodile tear

I'm looking more for "When I go about writing this sort of scene I follow this process," or stuff like the erotica comment, that was a useful idea.


The problem is, like dialog, sex can derive from anything, build on anything, lead to anything, and have any purpose in a story. Unless the situation is narrowed down, we can't really give you advice for something that broad.
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crocodile tear
Sinann of Erin
crocodile tear
Maybe it would count as erotica, it isn't really the area of the spectrum I wanted to get to, most hints of what they were doing without it sounding ridiculous or making dodgy p***s references.

While I appreciate the repsonses, I am not interested in hearing people's preference, I want advise on how to write a mix of emotion and sex that captures the lust and the bonding of the characters without going too deeply into sex or too unncessarily into their emotions.

I did try to offer suggestions; I'm sorry if the half sentence about my preference bothered you...but you asked for advice, and if some people think the advice should be "don't bother, it's a bad idea," they are entitled to do so.


I don't agree that "I like fade to black" is advise, its an opinion. You don't feel that it is necessary where as in my opinion it is.

I'm looking more for "When I go about writing this sort of scene I follow this process," or stuff like the erotica comment, that was a useful idea.

It's an opinion, and it's advice. If someone thinks that it might be a better idea for your story, it's a advice.

And either way, I did try to offer advice for actually writing the scene in that comment after I expressed my preference.
How about instead of being descriptive of the actual act, you describe the thoughts going in in the character's heads. After all, it's not the sex that's important, but the character's reactions, right?

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