Writing romance

[crystal cascades]

Hey everyone, this is probably incredibly general, but I was hoping to get some tips on writing a romance story/novel.
Slightly more specifically, I'm looking into writing a realistic romance in a modern day setting (high school shut up). I'm working on the build up to a romantic relationship, rather than the two parties already romantically involved with one another (at least I won't focus on that too much). Nothing sexually explicit.

At the moment, I'm not too worried about dialogue between love interests just because I feel like it may come naturally as long as the characters are understood well enough (a big assumption because I've only been working on the outline so far). But I do wonder about how to make romantic dialogue not cheesy.

So, yes, I guess I'm just looking for some general tips on writing a realistic romance or any good sites with a lot of tips.

I also have a set timeline for the story.
Four months to develop the friendship, and five to six more for it to start getting romantic.
And no, romance isn't the main, main focus. It is more of a character development(/coming-of-age?) story than anything.

Oh, I could also go into what the relationship "types" are if it'd help.

Thank you!

[DarknessofHeavenandDreams]

There as many 'types' as there are people, unless you're looking into general relationships, like platonic, romantic, sexual, etc.

If it's modern, by the way, the relationship doesn't have to go 'love, marriage, sex'. It can do that in any order and leave out sex and/or marriage (a romance without romance wouldn't work).

[crystal cascades]

DarknessofHeavenandDreams

There as many 'types' as there are people, unless you're looking into general relationships, like platonic, romantic, sexual, etc.

If it's modern, by the way, the relationship doesn't have to go 'love, marriage, sex'. It can do that in any order and leave out sex and/or marriage (a romance without romance wouldn't work).

Oh, I meant the kind of "type" that I was writing. I'm pretty sure "type" isn't even the right word, either, hence the quotation marks.
i.e. something like falling in love with your best friend VS friends with benefits.
So . . . I meant a quick way to classify it, I guess. But general relationships is good, too; damn, I think I'm just interested in reading about relationships now haha.


I think that's a really good to keep in mind, thanks! (Romance without romance, haha. I like the dysfunctional relationships too.)


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I realize I'm asking something really general, so that's why I was hoping maybe someone had a link to a site with tips regarding romance/relationships.

[Umbre]

If you want to get scientific about it intense emotional responses connected with a person in your company may increase the chances that you will feel an attachment, often romantic, with them. Being in a frightening situation / dangerous situation often helps, which is why scary movies were so popular as well as things like roller coasters and the like.

But for a more emotional, it may simply be the time of amount spent with the person increasing. It could be a classmate, with whom they suddenly find in a club or outside school who shares a similar interest. They may appreciate the other's charm, witt, appearance, bluntness, frailness, coyness, or any other number of traits. There would generally be a trait they wish they had for themselves, or perhaps a set of personality traits compatible, but that enhance their own. (They're so confident... I wish I was that thickskinned...)

As they interact and they come to know the other person's mannerisms, they may start to miss them at moments or even start to consider what the other person would do / hear the other person's voice in their head at times (I.E. They see a cute set of stickers at a store and immediately are like "This is something Jena'd like - while imagining her reaction upon their reception.). Then they may start to pine / long for that person's company - hence when they would likely start to acknowledge the crush / affection for that person. The main thing in a situation like that would be the fact that you'd already be thinking of a future with that person and it'd have good implications.

As a female, a friend with benefits is generally someone who is good when it comes to the physical aspects and may be a good friend, but could never be relied upon to tackle problems with maturity. I.E. Fun but impulsive.

As far as relationship types, I'd generally classify them with a few varieties:
1.) The couple is together because they don't want to be alone and think it's expected of them.
2.) The couple is together because they sincerely enjoy the other's company.
3.) The couple is together because one party is actively using the other for a reason other than romantic fulfillment ( money / revenge).
4.) The couple is together because they have a history, and despite being horrible for each other, they don't want to admit that they've grown apart.

[crystal cascades]

Umbre

Thank you for the comment! Especially the bit about thinking into the future. Definitely a mindset I didn't think of specifically, but will have to get into.
The first tidbit is certainly an interesting fact, though. I'll keep it in mind.

I actually have a pretty good idea of how they'll meet and be friends; but I'm more or less worried about transitioning from friendship to romantic love naturally. (Because I'm not going to write "fall in love in a week" since that's silly.) Slowly integrate it into the narrative? I guess depending on the character, the realization would either be spontaneous (epiphany-esque) or gradual.

Haha, for this project, I'm aiming mainly for "type 2".
Actually, I'm writing 4 different relationships, some things like:
- acquaintance -> friend -> romantic interest
- falling for your best friend
- teacher & student and the implications/complications
- unhealthy; one party has personal issues and uses the other as an emotional crutch

[yakull]

Hello! smile

Writing romance is so fun, and I think that is important to remember. Have fun with it! If it is always making you feel sad or angsty for your characters then that will reflect in the way you write it. You probably know this already, but it helps in the long run, especially if you are going for a novel length piece!

The second most important thing, for me anyway, is to make sure that I can actually see the characters getting together at the end of it. If you can kind of see them getting together, then the chemistry won't be there from the get go. They need to fit well in all aspects- that doesn't mean that they have to be carbon copies, they are obviously going to have some things that they either don't agree on or aren't similar in, for example likes and dislikes. What I mean is that you need to be able to see them together in all parts of their lives.

For example, I was once writing a piece for someone and their two characters didn't really gel together. They were kind of... they were kind of similar, I admit, but they were also so angsty and emotional that in any real world situation, they would have destroyed one another. Which goes back to my first point about it being fun and exciting and new- this was none of those things and it actually depressed me quite a bit. Obviously it is different for you as it is your own characters but just something to think about. smile

I wish you all the luck in the world!