NibbleKat
I am one of those who disagrees with this. Yes, I write the story. Yes, I can say, "I'll put them in this situation." But, they're their own people, as it were, imaginary as they are. Therefore, if I were to say, write my character Jed into a scene where he tries on a lacy tutu and loves it... it would be words on a page, it would be me controlling it,
but it wouldn't be Jed. It'd be a character who had the same name, but not
him, and definitely not true to the story/character/theme/etc etc etc.
Actually, it just wouldn't be old Jed. Tutu-loving Jed would just be revised Jed. You
could change Jed to love tutus, you just
choose not to because that's not how you want Jed to act. It wouldn't be the Jed you picture or want or what would be best for the story. Regardless, whether you choose to make Jed tutu-loving or not is still entirely up to you. Whether that decision is a good one or not is another matter entirely but Jed's not making the decisions here and that's what my point was.
Besides, what I was referring to in this case wasn't changing the characters themselves at all but rather referring to changing events within the story. My characters would be perfectly capable of falling in love with each other in other circumstances, for example. My plot just happens to not provide the opportunity for them to do it and I'm reluctant to change it because the benefits of having a romance does not out-way the severe plot derailment that would accompany the endeavor. That's what I meant when I said it was up to you on whether to try your romance or not - if it's not going to derail your story, themes, or characters, go for it. But if it will, then you may not want to do it. If your characters are developed and can stand on their own, then they should be fine no matter what you decide in this case.
I hope that clarified my position a little bit more. ^.^; Anyway, I'm really glad that my post helped in some way. ^.^ Best of luck.