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Your massive epic fantasy series starring characters and songs ripped off from every single movie and TV show you've ever heard of belongs on Fanfiction.net, not bookshelves.

This was of course one of the first incarnations of the novel I'm writing now. I believe the seeds of the first incarnation may have began when I was 7. I am now 23 and onto the third draft. I'm getting there!

Anxious Citizen

-For god's sakes, plan if you're going to submit it. Especially when you're writing horror, because you're going to inevitably start including your troubles there. And without planning, it comes out way too personal. It looks like the scribblings of a severely disturbed madwoman. And the magazine doesn't want that, because it's incoherent and frankly, quite shitty. Even if you think it sounds "good".

-Don't take rejections personally.

-Learn to love having your work torn to shreds.

-Writing is a life-sucking, draining passion; be wary of that.

-As troublesome, often painful, and confusing as it is, it is a passion, and you can keep going.

-Never ******** give up. Never.

Blessed Genius

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There's nothing wrong with rewriting. If you were so worried about wasting paper, then just put your pride aside and TYPE the dang thing. Who cares if Teddy typed his story out too?

Always be nice/polite to those who give you critiques. Even if you hated what they said, just thank them and avoid pointless arguments. You looked like a b***h that one time when you got a good critique on your Twilight parody/fan-fiction and you failed to recognize it.

Questionable Streaker

Taking a week off can be a good thing.

Anxious Browser

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If I could tell my past self some things, it would be these:

- Do not capitalize every single word. My god, no wonder I received so much heat from other authors from that alone.
- 500 word count does not even count as a story, much less a chapter for a long running novel.
- Describing the character at the beginning is bad and wards off people immediately!
- Pacing! A good story needs pacing with twists and turns to spice things up a bit!
Two words: "Mary Sue"

Also, editing is your friend. Your words are the window to your story, and if those are all muddled it doesn't matter if you've written the best story in the history of history because no one will be able to understand it.

One last thing, people with vaginas can be good characters too.
I would stress the idea of drafting stories.

Sparkly Lunatic

-Textspeak isn't cute.
-Neither is Engrish.
-Seriously, stop mixing gratuitous Japanese with the English.
-Author Avatar is not a legitimate form of writing.
-Mary. FREAKING. Sues. Are not dynamic characters.
-Not everything can be post-apocalyptic and at this point it's overdone.
-Not everything has to be a love story.
-Not everyone is going to like everything you write, and some people are just going to hate it.
- Just write it, god damn it!
- And take criticism mo' better. Your poo ain't gold.
- Stop. Obsessing. Over. Anime emotion_donotwant
- It's okay to ask people for help and show them your work. They're not going to destroy you!
- Them commas are still kickin my a**. You better work on them.
- Love isn't necessary in a story. Stop paring everyone off with each other. That's like the basis for all your stories. Staph it.
- Again, keep writing! Don't ever stop.

Playful Sweetheart

I would tell myself to write less ambiguously. Not everything has to seem mysterious, I promise. And no, you don't need that many characters.
Don't get too attached to your first draft.

Characters are not your friends or family, they are tools to tell a story. It is the reader who is supposed to get attached to them, not you. Especially if you plan to kill them.

Don't think that you have nothing to learn.

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