The new anti-guide! Let's have some fun WF

[Clare_N]

Remember, if a review contains anything other than glowing praise for your story, it's automatically classed as a flame and should be dealt with accordingly. So give the reviewer a revenge flame, telling them how much they suck for criticising your masterpiece and that they're only jealous because their writing isn't as good as yours. And, if the critique was for SPaG (spelling, punctuation and grammar) errors, call the reviewer a "grammar Nazi". The old:

Quote:

You're not my English teacher!

line can also come in useful here.

[Moral Gutpunch]

Sound is louder and explosions cover more area in space because there's no air to get in the way.

[Turnilk]

Clare_N

Remember, if a review contains anything other than glowing praise for your story, it's automatically classed as a flame and should be dealt with accordingly. So give the reviewer a revenge flame, telling them how much they suck for criticising your masterpiece and that they're only jealous because their writing isn't as good as yours. And, if the critique was for SPaG (spelling, punctuation and grammar) errors, call the reviewer a "grammar Nazi". The old:

Quote:

You're not my English teacher!

line can also come in useful here.

You could also say their grammar isn't perfect and when asked to point something out, you could point out what is very clearly a typo. Surely, that will fix all the problems in one's own work!

[Basoni]

Clare_N

Remember, if a review contains anything other than glowing praise for your story, it's automatically classed as a flame and should be dealt with accordingly. So give the reviewer a revenge flame, telling them how much they suck for criticising your masterpiece and that they're only jealous because their writing isn't as good as yours. And, if the critique was for SPaG (spelling, punctuation and grammar) errors, call the reviewer a "grammar Nazi". The old:

Quote:

You're not my English teacher!

line can also come in useful here.

People who can only flaunt that they can spell something better can be trapped into accepting an idea if they pin point out the spelling "mistake!".

there you go

[Turnilk]

Despite the fact that other famous writers have done it, no one should ever mix and match mythologies. In fact, don't write using any old mythology since you might hurt someone's delicate feelings about such mythologies. Then again, anything you make up could hurt someone's feelings too, so maybe its best not to write anything fantasy related. Go with fiction. Wait, you could still offend someone with that, never mind, don't write that. Science fiction is what you want to write. Wait, same problem. You know what? since someone somewhere might take insult to anything you write, its best not to write anything at all. Give up now. You wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings after all, that's like a sin or something.

[Little Dead Soldier]

(Love this thread btw).

When writing an awesome sword fight, your character and villian are awesome katana weilding swordmasters. And the fight scene always end with them charging each other with their katanas, one swing, and then after a brief pause your villian dramatically falls down to the ground. Even better if your bad guy falls down cut in half. Its just the only way to end a samurai sword fight. Oh yes, even better if the setting is in a bamboo forest.

[Turnilk]

Little Dead Soldier

(Love this thread btw).

When writing an awesome sword fight, your character and villian are awesome katana weilding swordmasters. And the fight scene always end with them charging each other with their katanas, one swing, and then after a brief pause your villian dramatically falls down to the ground. Even better if your bad guy falls down cut in half. Its just the only way to end a samurai sword fight. Oh yes, even better if the setting is in a bamboo forest.

Well, of course! People have a delayed reaction to being chopped into pieces or stabbed or whatever. It doesn't matter if their skull was sliced in half, they need to have some sort of reaction. If they are standing when this happens, they should continue doing so for several seconds before falling down. And they will totally be able to have a surprised look on their faces and gasp one last time before they do fall.

Oh and the villain shouldn't just die. They need some final words. Or if they can't speak, final facial reactions. Its mandatory. Because reasons.

[Moral Gutpunch]

When someone jumps, it's always as high as they want, never bonking into anything, and they always land in the right place. It's not realistic otherwise.

[[XblackfireX]]

Moral Gutpunch

When someone jumps, it's always as high as they want, never bonking into anything, and they always land in the right place. It's not realistic otherwise.

Complicated acrobatics are actually really easy. No training required, just think "I need to do a front-flip, land on that 10 inch wide ledge, back-flip off of it exactly onto that 6 inch square that is surrounded by spikes" and go. Anyone can do these things.

[Moral Gutpunch]

[XblackfireX]

Moral Gutpunch

When someone jumps, it's always as high as they want, never bonking into anything, and they always land in the right place. It's not realistic otherwise.

Complicated acrobatics are actually really easy. No training required, just think "I need to do a front-flip, land on that 10 inch wide ledge, back-flip off of it exactly onto that 6 inch square that is surrounded by spikes" and go. Anyone can do these things.

Only some people such at them, but only for a day. They can panic that they'll never be good enough, but they;ll forget about it the next day when they're an expert.

[[XblackfireX]]

Moral Gutpunch

[XblackfireX]

Moral Gutpunch

When someone jumps, it's always as high as they want, never bonking into anything, and they always land in the right place. It's not realistic otherwise.

Complicated acrobatics are actually really easy. No training required, just think "I need to do a front-flip, land on that 10 inch wide ledge, back-flip off of it exactly onto that 6 inch square that is surrounded by spikes" and go. Anyone can do these things.

Only some people such at them, but only for a day. They can panic that they'll never be good enough, but they;ll forget about it the next day when they're an expert.

It's not just acrobatics, that's how anyone learns anything.

A montage of them failing for a day is enough to repel accusations of the character being an instant expert, even if they are trying something that takes years to learn.

[Moral Gutpunch]

[XblackfireX]

Moral Gutpunch

[XblackfireX]

Moral Gutpunch

When someone jumps, it's always as high as they want, never bonking into anything, and they always land in the right place. It's not realistic otherwise.

Complicated acrobatics are actually really easy. No training required, just think "I need to do a front-flip, land on that 10 inch wide ledge, back-flip off of it exactly onto that 6 inch square that is surrounded by spikes" and go. Anyone can do these things.

Only some people such at them, but only for a day. They can panic that they'll never be good enough, but they;ll forget about it the next day when they're an expert.

It's not just acrobatics, that's how anyone learns anything.

A montage of them failing for a day is enough to repel accusations of the character being an instant expert, even if they are trying something that takes years to learn.

All good guys worry about not being good at first. Bad guys are instantly good.

[Turnilk]

If you write a bunch of lore for a story and the world it is set in, find some way to shove that stuff in there. It doesn't matter if it doesn't belong or has little to nothing to do with the actual story. You worked hard on it and you should damn well be able to put it in there somewhere!

[[XblackfireX]]

Turnilk

If you write a bunch of lore for a story and the world it is set in, find some way to shove that stuff in there. It doesn't matter if it doesn't belong or has little to nothing to do with the actual story. You worked hard on it and you should damn well be able to put it in there somewhere!

Fun fact! People tend to spend many hours describing their own culture/biology/general life/powers/etc to other people with the same culture/biology/general life/powers/etc. So make sure your characters do this as much as possible. It is the most natural way of showing how things work in your universe.

[Clare_N]

If you're American, it's mandatory for you to correct British authors on their spelling.

Also, when writing a sex scene, you must specify the exact length of a certain part of the male character's anatomy. The one which must always be referred to as a "throbbing rod of passion", or words to that effect.