The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[Araia.Naishi]

All character names must have y's in them.

[Tavreynya]

All female names must end in a, e, i, ie, or y. M-U-S-T. The letter "o" is strictly forbidden.

[Araia.Naishi]

Tavreynya

All female names must end in a, e, i, ie, or y. M-U-S-T. The letter "o" is strictly forbidden.

And no consonants, either. 3nodding

You're pretty creative. heart Sweet.

[GDs Picdrop Troll]

Unnecesarry side-kick characters are a must have.

Immortals must angst about being immortal.

Your main characters must have a beautiful singing voice.

No good story doesn't contain demons. Always use demons! Especially Japanese ones in a Medieval European setting.

Use Japanese names even if your characters aren't Japanese.

Standoff-ish females will always come around after hot sex with the hero, and likewise for males and heroins.

[Tavreynya]

Araia.Naishi

You're pretty creative. heart Sweet.

Why, thank you. ^-^ One does one's best.

If any character in the hero(ine)'s party has a personal difficulty/is angsting, the hero(ine) will recount to them a far more tragic tale of their own suffering. This will cause the party member to snap out of it and say, "Wow, Jimbob, you've been through a lot more than I have. You're so strong. It was selfish of me to complain about my own petty little problems."

[Araia.Naishi]

Your main character MUST have a posse of at least four people, or be all alone. None of this "just one best friend" junk.

All of said people must have different talents. After all, what's a character group without a healer/monk, a hardcore warrior, a sorceress, and a clueless hero?

[Tavreynya]

At some point, your main character must rely on advice given by a perverted old man.

[Araia.Naishi]

Tavreynya

At some point, your main character must rely on advice given by a perverted old man.

Or even a non-perverted old man.

(No old women. Or young men. Or young women. Or weird little sisters.)

[GDs Picdrop Troll]

Your main character must be an orphen and an outcast, despite the fact that s/he is perfectly friendly and has no real grounds on which to be hated by society, and, even though they are an outcast, the still must do everything for the good of the people that shunned them.

Run-on sentences are also very hot.

[Araia.Naishi]

Why even bother using commas? Or even periods? Nothing's worse than a story that's broken up into little tiny comprehensible bits.

Oh and your story must have the incarnation of a god on earth, even if it has no religion.

[Gemini the Spy]

The main character must be completely all powerful, talented at EVERYTHING (no exceptions) kind hearted without a single thought of cruelty, and still completely modest about it.

Any character whose parents died will either find that their parents are somehow still alive or they come back to life and everyone lives happily ever after.

Female characters exist only for Male characters to fall in love with.

Every character that dies must do so in their lovers arms creating a long and sappy speach about never forgetting eachother until the all mighty hero(ion) shows up with some way to save the wounded's life and the lovers swear eternal loyalty to their savior, your hero(ion) All Hail Them!

[oneia]

Female love interests of the hero, even if he falls in love with several throughout the story/book series, must always fall victim to one bad guy or another... Bonus points if its the predictable, "I'm going to kidnap her to lure the hero to me" trick.

[radioactive alchemist]

Some of this stuff is so crazy I feel the need to write a story based on all this advice.
*goes to compile a list of the 'best'*

And if it involves vampires, the vampire hunter must fall in love with the vampire she/he's hunting.

[oneia]

If the story involves vampires and werewolves, they are not allowed to try to see eye to eye. Simply being around one another is enough to send the other into a frenzy...
Yet, should a vampire and a werewolf see eye to eye, it should be a female and a male pairing that falls in love almost immediately.

[Gemini the Spy]

As long as there's lots of killing, bloodshed, soul devouring, sacrifices, who cares why it started in the first place? Motives? Who would be interested in something like that when you can have senseless violence?