The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2292 ]
I add new things.	14.9%	[ 1951 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.6%	[ 8852 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13095 ]

[Alea Facta Est]

Tavreynya

Oxxidation.2

Quote:

...where are the black elves?))

Yar, those be the drow.

Pity that their species houses quite possibly one of the biggest Gary Stus of all time.

Yeah. Now everyone thinks they can have an angst-ridden "good" drow character in all their stories and still be considered original... Feh.

Yah, not to mention the fact that everyone else must be prejudiced against the drow until s/he reveals how nice s/he really is.

[Tavreynya]

Quark Serpent

Yah, not to mention the fact that everyone else must be prejudiced against the drow until s/he reveals how nice s/he really is.

Come to think of it, everyone must be prejudiced against your main hero(ine), always (extra props if it's for no discernible reason). 'Cause then you get to show them Triumphing Over Adversity, and that's just nifty.

[Alea Facta Est]

Tavreynya

Quark Serpent

Yah, not to mention the fact that everyone else must be prejudiced against the drow until s/he reveals how nice s/he really is.

Come to think of it, everyone must be prejudiced against your main hero(ine), always (extra props if it's for no discernible reason). 'Cause then you get to show them Triumphing Over Adversity, and that's just nifty.

Ooh, absolutely. And the person that's most prejudiced against the main character is the one that ends up in love with them and saving their arse when it matters.

[Sergeant Sargent]

A good hero has no emotions. Think Keano Reeves in Constantine. He should always speak in a monotone voice, even when he's chasing after the bad guy and his car is about to go carrening off the side of a cliff. He should never break a sweat.

Of course, secretly, he is deeply tormented. But he must never show it! The only person who sees through his monotone facade is his girlfriend, and she will get through to him no matter how vauge and unwilling to talk about his past he is. In fact there should be a long, drawen out sequence where his girlfriend drags the secret out of him. Either that, or something of sentimental value falls out of his wallet, prompting a question that must be anwsered. The tormented hero cannot lie to his beautiful, sexy girlfriend. As mandated by the Gods of the Anti-Guide, the pair must make out and have sex immedately after the intimate confession.

In regards to sex, no one in books ever uses condoms. More over, they never get pregant or have an STD. Heaven forbid your main charecter have AIDS, that would ruin the entire plot!

However, if your charecter does become sick, they must make a mericulous recovery facilitated by their lover's cancer cureing, AIDS vaccinating, lepper healing kiss/tears. And they must always come back from the brink of death, or better yet, come back from death itself after being deceased for a full ten minutes. In real life this would cause irrepreable brain damage. But, of course, you're writing fiction/fantasy. You have a right not to make sense, and there for should never, under any circomstances, use rational logic.

As for near death experiances, your main charecter should either meet a dead reletive (such as their loving mother who was killed in a fire started by your disfunctional aunt because she was always jelous of her sister's virtue and good looks and espically jelous of you for turning out so pretty and having all the boys/girls after you) or meet God/the devil. And, when they come out of their coma, they should say something really cool like, "I told you I'd be back, baby." Then, naturally, they have sex right there on the hospital bed, tubes and all.

[Morriganna]

ALWAYS have any remotely important character have amnesia. Everyone loves hearing about how confused and tourmented your characters are because they don't know who they are.

[LEMadison]

Everyone has wierd-colored hair, and contrary to popular belief this is EXTREMELY attractive. All the pretty people have physically-impossible eyes colors, too.
Also, you write in script format. That seriously makes the best story ever! Try it! Your writing will SHINE.

[LoneGothic]

Crimson eyes are hawt. They're not sore or anything! Really.

[timechaser]

LoneGothic

Crimson eyes are hawt. They're not sore or anything! Really.

my eyes were red earlier this week from allergies, and they were most certainly not 'hawt'. Which reminds me. Your characters can never have allergies. Unless, of course, they are for comic relief, in which case the comic-relief character is allergic to a single thing, like dogs. There are no seasonal allergies. Being allergic to dogs also means that the character only sneezes a lot. They must not break out in hives or anything.

[LEMadison]

timechaser

LoneGothic

Crimson eyes are hawt. They're not sore or anything! Really.

my eyes were red earlier this week from allergies, and they were most certainly not 'hawt'. Which reminds me. Your characters can never have allergies. Unless, of course, they are for comic relief, in which case the comic-relief character is allergic to a single thing, like dogs. There are no seasonal allergies. Being allergic to dogs also means that the character only sneezes a lot. They must not break out in hives or anything.

nor must thier allergy ever cause them to look unattractive!

[Lebki]

In your story, have only one character of a minority ethnicity and kill him before long. All your main characters must be white. rolleyes

[Oni-Tori]

remember not to describe any shortcomeings in regards to looks, feelings,abilities except for in the wardrobe area

[Oni-Tori]

Oni-Tori

remember not to describe any shortcomeings in regards to looks, feelings,abilities except for in the wardrobe area

oh yes and everyone must be completly neutral,overdone or obviously swinging between to sides...
they must not have moodswings of anysort or any type of illness that is slightly offputting and not dangerous

[Scarlet Jile]

Always remember: Don't bother trying to make yourself part of the solution. Just complain about others' wrong-doings.

[Tavreynya]

LEMadison

timechaser

LoneGothic

Crimson eyes are hawt. They're not sore or anything! Really.

my eyes were red earlier this week from allergies, and they were most certainly not 'hawt'. Which reminds me. Your characters can never have allergies. Unless, of course, they are for comic relief, in which case the comic-relief character is allergic to a single thing, like dogs. There are no seasonal allergies. Being allergic to dogs also means that the character only sneezes a lot. They must not break out in hives or anything.

nor must thier allergy ever cause them to look unattractive!

Well, it might, if they're comic relief. Comic relief people are free to be unattractive, but no one else. Making your comic relief character ugly is a fine substitute for depth of characterization.

[radioactive alchemist]

Lebki

In your story, have only one character of a minority ethnicity and kill him before long. All your main characters must be white. rolleyes

Unless, of course, you have the obligatory kick-a** warrior-type black woman.