The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2292 ]
I add new things.	14.9%	[ 1951 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.6%	[ 8852 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13095 ]

[Gemini the Spy]

make sure to spend a minimum of 300 pages describing you characters hair, "her sunset dyed locks glimmered tiny glows of silver in the moonlight... ect ect blah blah blah"

[Araia.Naishi]

And remember. If you have one loud, bitchy character, the other one HAS to be loud and bitchy so they can argue all the time. It adds drama. Screw character differences. They're all cardboard cutouts anyway.

And remember, if your character makes a plan, any plan, it has to go EXACTLY as planned. Because they're just that smart.

Villains can't be girls.
Healers can't be guys.
Nerds/techno-geeks/genii can't be girls.

THAT'S THE WAY IT IS, YO.

[Tavreynya]

Araia.Naishi

And remember, if your character makes a plan, any plan, it has to go EXACTLY as planned. Because they're just that smart.

If your character agrees to take the backseat and let someone else make the plan, said plan will FAIL MISERABLY. They should be punished for trying to be superior to your character at anything!

[Theres a SHARK in his ASS]

Dudes, you've inspired me to make a "what-not-to-do" story. xD

[Tavreynya]

Kitsusama

Dudes, you've inspired me to make a "what-not-to-do" story. xD

Yeah, a lot of people have been saying they want to do those. I plan on reading all of them. :XP:

[Tavreynya]

Any character who is a cynic obviously has something wrong with them, and by the end of the story they must be "cured" and witness the POWER OF LURVE.

[Araia.Naishi]

Tavreynya

Kitsusama

Dudes, you've inspired me to make a "what-not-to-do" story. xD

Yeah, a lot of people have been saying they want to do those. I plan on reading all of them. :XP:

-pokes sig banner- That's what it's there for.

Hullo, again, Tavvi.

(If you have a female character and a male character, THEY MUST FALL IN LURRRVE. End of discussion. Even if one's thirteen years older than the other.)

[wingnut the improbable]

Your main female character is a human (Wait! No! She must be an angel-wolf hybrid with "speshul majikul powerz!!" wink . Your main male character is a penguin (Actually, a penguin-demon, also with "speshul majikul powerz!!" wink . Make them fall in love anyway. Biology is for stupid people. Plus, it will create some very interesting children with "speshul majikul powerz!!" squared.

[Lebki]

If you story is going nowhere, you must have an exciting plot hole that gets your characters where they need to go, even if it doesn't make sense. Who wants to read a coherent story?

[The Death of a Fly]

wingnut the improbable

Your main female character is a human (Wait! No! She must be an angel-wolf hybrid with "speshul majikul powerz!!" wink . Your main male character is a penguin (Actually, a penguin-demon, also with "speshul majikul powerz!!" wink . Make them fall in love anyway. Biology is for stupid people. Plus, it will create some very interesting children with "speshul majikul powerz!!" squared.

Yes. And if the children are from two different species, they'll only inherit the good parts, not the weaknesses. (Example: A half-human half vampire can't be killed by sunlight because of the human part, but also can't be killed by bullets because of the vampire part.)

[foxgyrl]

When there is too much romance and you totally get of topic!

[Tavreynya]

Lebki

If you story is going nowhere, you must have an exciting plot hole that gets your characters where they need to go, even if it doesn't make sense. Who wants to read a coherent story?

Looking at you, Robert Jordan... stare

[Raincrow]

Tavreynya

Lebki

If you story is going nowhere, you must have an exciting plot hole that gets your characters where they need to go, even if it doesn't make sense. Who wants to read a coherent story?

Looking at you, Robert Jordan... stare

*coughwaygatecough*

[Cayan Magusson]

I'm amazed that I've been writing and creating since I was about nine and I've made less then five of these mistakes... But anyway...

Remember people, when you're running low on ideas for characters, make a talking cat with a pink lion mane named DJ or something. Remember that cute, cuddly pets are wonderful for comic relief and just might come in handy for stealing fish or something. Your readers will never get tired of the cute, comic relief pet that is completely pointless and will never, ever want to punt it into the sun.

Stay away from words like bicycle, or asylum. People won't care if your narrator refers to them as "bikes" or "crazy houses" when in serious context. The information of such things is too hard to find for you. But the Cheez-its aren't, so eat those and don't care about anything how much you need to improve.

Mistakes are below your characters. No matter how clumsy your character is, carrying heavily things that go over pile high over their heads, they will never fall. Ever. Stumble maybe, but gravity works perfectly with them and God's graceful hand will catch them or some crap that I'm not sure what I'm saying anymore.

Also, normal animals do not exist. There are only magical animals that slew all of the house cats and gold fish in the great war that you're too lazy to write about. The only kind of animals that are out their now are hybrids. And if they look too much like a single animal from before, they can talk. They can talk because they are the last of their kind.

(I know, it's not as good as my first post on the bottom of page 14... But it's something. To make things horrible, remember that the animals, the comic relief pet, and the pile-of-heavy-things-that will-never-make-the-chacter-fall all use kung-fu. So write battles about them. Write many battles about how your characters kick the crap out of those evil-pile-of-books named Xavadaperli, the Evil King of Urinal Cakes in Book-form!)

[Veive]

The only love that exists is between either teenagers or young adults, or immortals that LOOK like young adults.

Nobody ever falls in love when they're thirty.

And God forbid you pull a Jane Eyre and have your 19-year-old heroine fall for a 38-year-old man, 'cause that's just EWWWW.