The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2292 ]
I add new things.	14.9%	[ 1951 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.6%	[ 8852 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13095 ]

[Molly the Emo Kitty]

Chifufuni

By all means people, never forget to have your hero act like and angel or your anti-hero act like a complete demon because no one likes a hero that can just act like himself.

... What if one of your heros is an angel and the major antagonist is a demon?

[Lolita Doll]

Molly the Emo Kitty

Chifufuni

By all means people, never forget to have your hero act like and angel or your anti-hero act like a complete demon because no one likes a hero that can just act like himself.

... What if one of your heros is an angel and the major antagonist is a demon?

That's even better!! biggrin

[Molly the Emo Kitty]

Lolita Doll

Molly the Emo Kitty

Chifufuni

By all means people, never forget to have your hero act like and angel or your anti-hero act like a complete demon because no one likes a hero that can just act like himself.

... What if one of your heros is an angel and the major antagonist is a demon?

That's even better!! biggrin

Yay! *feels special*

[Mercurygal]

The main person may only have two best friends and a ton of "friends"

Also when writing a bording school story your hero must always be on the fringes of school society and there must be a bichy blond cheerleader or toatal jerk

[wingnut the improbable]

If a character is hallucinating and says something that seems like utter nonsense, it must prove to be very important later on in the story. It can't actually be utter nonsense. Your characters are too UBERKEWL!!!42!!11 for utter nonsense.

Except, of course, the random character. Your story must have a character that shouts out stuff like 'CHEEEEZZZ!!!!!' or 'MMMMPIE!!!!11111111one'. It's hilarious. Seriously.

[Indigo^Sunset]

If you happen to be writing about "high school" or something of that sort, don't forget the stereotypes! Readers -love- when your story is stuffed with the following:

Preps - Make sure that these characters are perfect and blonde. They never wear anything but Abercrombie and Fitch clothing, and females wear a lot of lip gloss.

Emos/Goths/Generally misunderstood kids - These characters should always be found lurking in inexplicably dark corners of hallways, in alleys, ect. They moan and mope around, searching for their purpose in life. And they MUST have a tortured past that keeps coming up for no reason, or your story will be a complete failure. Remember to make them main characters.

The totally hot and popular guy/girl - Who cares if he/she has no personality? Certainly not your readers. Remember to hint that this character has a deeper side, but never bother to show any of it. He/she can never be a main character, just something to be observed from a distance.

The tragically misunderstood popular guy/girl - This character may be extremely popular, but do to a tragic past, they can't be happy. They spend their days searching for who they really are. Remember to bring up that fabulous tragic past over and over again. This is usually a main character.

Also, this has been stated many times before, but NEVER bother to use proper grammar or spell out your words. No one cares if you use "ur" or "k". All that matters is that your story gets written out as quickly as possible and looks hurried and thrown together. It sooo makes you look like a tortured artist.

[Indigo^Sunset]

If you're writing poetry, don't bother writing from inspiration or coming up with a unique topic. People only enjoy poems in the following format:

First stanza: Write this stanza of your poem about the fact that your character is dead.

Second - Whatever stanzas: Write about that ever so heartwrenching tragic past of your character. Include a reference to dust, spiderwebs, and lying on the floor or in a corner in tears.

Last stanza: This stanza is about how your character killed themself. Pills are okay, but make sure that it is about slitting their wrists. Write about the blood pouring out, and relate it to something like memories, tears, sorrow, ect. Then end it with a dramatic line about their body lying alone on the floor.

[Alea Facta Est]

izabethelay

Swords, no matter what time period or world they are in, will be the main weapon. I mean who doesn't carry a sword nowadays!

Though if it's set in the future, it is made out of some sort of totally indestructible uber-metal, and if it's set in the past, the hilt is encrusted with precious jewels that add to the extremely keen edge's power.

[Muffers]

If there is a cloaked figure that remains as such only to be uncloaked by some random means near the end of the story, then that figure will either be a pristine child, a gorgeous young man/woman, or a wizened old man/woman.

There is no middle ground. Don't even think about having 'just average' people wearing cloaks. That is heresy.

[Febia]

Don't forget to use improper grammer, and don't EVER check your spelling over. Conventions are just so yesterday! Oh and make sure your writing makes sense to only yourself ,and mabe not even you it's so much funner for your reader to try to figure it out.

[Lolita Doll]

Quark Serpent

izabethelay

Swords, no matter what time period or world they are in, will be the main weapon. I mean who doesn't carry a sword nowadays!

Though if it's set in the future, it is made out of some sort of totally indestructible uber-metal, and if it's set in the past, the hilt is encrusted with precious jewels that add to the extremely keen edge's power.

That or, if in the future, swords are replaced by lightsabers, which are swords but with a lazer shaft.

[Astarael--Banisher]

On The Topic Of Diseases:

Diseases, as mentioned earlier, must be manafactured by the government, for natural plagues simply don't exist anymore. Our constitutions are way too cool for that.

However, a small minority will be able to adapt the disease, and their body shall use it to their advantage... Sometimes, not even a small minority. Sometimes, EVERYBODY! But I digress. The infected people will probably begin to resemble vampires and whatnot, and they will also develop logic-defying physical prowess, 'cos getting sick means you can suddenly kick butt in tight leather pants (versus staying in bed with a thermometer, I suppose).

((I only mention this because I've seen it in various movies and pieces of fiction of late. After Ultraviolet pulled this one, I just had to commit it to the Anti-Guide.))

[KiwiOfDestruction]

Remember, kids:

Cops are incompetent, and they don't do anything. They are all prejudiced, and all they ever do is sit around eating doughnuts.

Using them as people who you call when you have evidence that someone is stalking you so that they won't stalk you anymore is totally off-limits. That's not what cops are for, God.

[Astarael--Banisher]

Ambigous heroes went out with the covered wagons. A hero must be right! A hero must be good! There cannot be an internal conflict or a situation where we're not sure if the hero or the antagonist are correct. Books and movies that have such a situation never get very far. I mean, House of Sand and Fog had absolutely nothing good said about it! I bet you've never even heard the movie before this moment!

Clear-cut is the way to go. 3nodding