The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[Victorias Doll]

I_Write_Ivre

Because now one likes things because they actually like them. That's retarded. Who likes ice cream when you can afford caviar?

Precisely! And they'll forget all of their poor--I'm sorry, less fortunate friends--in exchange for all of their aristocratic relations. After all, they're much more important as they also have money and nothing could be more interesting than exchanging your yearly income.

However, there will always be the one daughter (if you're feeling daring, make it a son!) who will call her parents out on their horrible behavior. They'll then beat her for speaking her mind, for only bad children don't understand that money =always= happiness.

[I_Write_Ivre]

Victorias Doll

However, there will always be the one daughter (if you're feeling daring, make it a son!) who will call her parents out on their horrible behavior. They'll then beat her for speaking her mind, for only bad children don't understand that money =always= happiness.

No offspring can just move out, use the money to go to college or support themselves, and live like they're less rich and save up money and let the parents have their own lifestyle

It's not like anyone can respect someone else living a different way that doesn't hurt themselves, others, or show animal cruelty.

[marshmallowcreampie]

Victorias Doll

Precisely! And they'll forget all of their poor--I'm sorry, less fortunate friends--in exchange for all of their aristocratic relations. After all, they're much more important as they also have money and nothing could be more interesting than exchanging your yearly income.

However, there will always be the one daughter (if you're feeling daring, make it a son!) who will call her parents out on their horrible behavior. They'll then beat her for speaking her mind, for only bad children don't understand that money =always= happiness.

Your MC must talk about how anyone who pursues riches and wishes to live in luxury is greedy. However, when she marries a rich guy (who got his money from his family, of course) or when she learns she's the princess of the Speshul Snowflake Kingdom, she'll totally enjoy all of her luxuries. But it's okay for her to have these things because she's a good person and didn't actively pursue them.

Remember: poverty is just a number, it's certainly not a state of living. Money can't buy happiness, and happiness is never connected to material goods. Your MC can have all the happiness she could ever have by playing the guitar? Owning and maintaining instruments doesn't cost money or anything! Money can't buy peace of mind, it's not like people short on cash ever worry about paying the bills or buying food. Spending time with your kids is far more important than money, and portray this by showing the rich person who spends all his time working while the poor one spends more time with his kids. Because everyone knows that rich people ALWAYS work more hours than poor people.

[Adulariah]

You needn't provide an explanation for how things work. Magic-casting? It's magic, you don't need to explain s**t!

Also, your character has to be cool. Tall, dark and silent while being a scawy demonic badass mothertrucker that sets those who annoy him aflame or stabs them! Show his threat displays recklessly, no character who thinks this is terrible would want to try to destroy him as to benefit the rest of society since he is that cool. But make him a "good guy" on a noble quest anyway and all of the other characters will forgive him instantly~! ✢

[CatsAndCatsAndCats]

Amotry

You needn't provide an explanation for how things work. Magic-casting? It's magic, you don't need to explain s**t!

Also, your character has to be cool. Tall, dark and silent while being a scawy demonic badass mothertrucker that sets those who annoy him aflame or stabs them! Show his threat displays recklessly, no character who thinks this is terrible would want to try to destroy him as to benefit the rest of society since he is that cool. But make him a "good guy" on a noble quest anyway and all of the other characters will forgive him instantly~! ✢

1. If you do provide an explanation for how it works (must you?), make sure not to actually stick to your own rules and contradict yourself on them constantly. If you're one of those uptight stick-up-the-a** morons who feels like they HAVE to stick to the rules, just bend them for the hero. He won't be special otherwise!

2. SHOW his threat displays?? Who actually does that? Just have your characters think he's cool anyway, and constantly talk about him being a scary demonic badass while constantly failing to show any evidence of this. This is an excellent example of the way in which you should allow the readers to interpret your character in a different way from you.

[GenerallyNostalgicGhost]

every character in your story is a cruel, inhumane a*****e. except the protagonist. the protagonist is perfect in every way. they are the underdog who's the only hope and light of the world.

also, make sure to spend at least a solid 3 paragraphs describing your character's looks in excruciating detail. pull a charles dickens and make every sentence as long as a novel.

[Misuki Marishima]

GenerallyNostalgicGhost

every character in your story is a cruel, inhumane a*****e. except the protagonist. the protagonist is perfect in every way. they are the underdog who's the only hope and light of the world.

also, make sure to spend at least a solid 3 paragraphs describing your character's looks in excruciating detail. pull a charles dickens and make every sentence as long as a novel.

Don't forget - even if your character is the hope and beacon of the world, s/he will not take on extra responsibility. They can take their time getting a love interest, the Infinity Plus One Sword and the Seven Magical Artifacts needed to prevent the Apocalypse.

They will not be expected to make speeches or other public appearances to the masses they are supposed to be saving. Because the media would not be all over that.

Countries definitely would not force your main character to save the world under their flag either.

[I_Write_Ivre]

Misuki Marishima

GenerallyNostalgicGhost

every character in your story is a cruel, inhumane a*****e. except the protagonist. the protagonist is perfect in every way. they are the underdog who's the only hope and light of the world.

also, make sure to spend at least a solid 3 paragraphs describing your character's looks in excruciating detail. pull a charles dickens and make every sentence as long as a novel.

Don't forget - even if your character is the hope and beacon of the world, s/he will not take on extra responsibility. They can take their time getting a love interest, the Infinity Plus One Sword and the Seven Magical Artifacts needed to prevent the Apocalypse.

They will not be expected to make speeches or other public appearances to the masses they are supposed to be saving. Because the media would not be all over that.

Countries definitely would not force your main character to save the world under their flag either.

They won't feel daunted by the responsibility, or hell, think maybe the villain with a plan might be better compared to their inexperienced a**. Every superawesomesaviorprincess knows EXACTLY what to do and never doubts themselves.

[Clare_N]

GenerallyNostalgicGhost

also, make sure to spend at least a solid 3 paragraphs describing your character's looks in excruciating detail.

It is especially important to do this when introducing an OC in a fanfic.

And, while you're at it, don't forget to write an equally detailed description of your character's life up until the point where we first meet him or her. Talk about everything that has happened to them from the moment they were born, regardless of whether or it is relevant to the plot.

[marshmallowcreampie]

No matter what is going on in the story, the romance subplot will be THE most interesting thing to the readers, so make sure to put lots of focus on it, even when the fate of thousands is in the balance.

If you want your romance subplot to be even more exciting, after a while, put in another person to threaten the romance of the two characters and create a love triangle. Of course, the main character will still end up with the person that they spent the first 300 pages with. No reader will complain about it being predictable. The excitement of a love triangle doesn't come from the mystery of "Who will s/he choose?!", it comes from the reader enjoying the fantasy of having two people pine after him/her. Because everyone loves that!

[Misuki Marishima]

marshmallowcreampie

No matter what is going on in the story, the romance subplot will be THE most interesting thing to the readers, so make sure to put lots of focus on it, even when the fate of thousands is in the balance.

If you want your romance subplot to be even more exciting, after a while, put in another person to threaten the romance of the two characters and create a love triangle. Of course, the main character will still end up with the person that they spent the first 300 pages with. No reader will complain about it being predictable. The excitement of a love triangle doesn't come from the mystery of "Who will s/he choose?!", it comes from the reader enjoying the fantasy of having two people pine after him/her. Because everyone loves that!

To make your love triangle even more exciting, I recommend using the Hero as one side and the Villain as the other side. That makes it more unpredictable on who the heroine will choose!

And if you really want to up the ante in your romantic plot, have the love interest get kidnapped by the villain. Double points if they don't even fight back.

Have your hero sabotage a marriage that would otherwise happen between the villain and their love interest. Readers love that stuff.

(( I have nothing against people who actually like wedding crashers. I like a good botched execution myself, so I'm somewhat guilty of this cliche. I will not let it go though. << ))

[Cat Royal]

The hero/ine must NEVER want to team up with the villian.

And if they do, it is out of the goodness of their heart. And the villian should be the most attractive of them.The hero must NEVER help the ugly character.

Nice, good parents are boring, and should therefore be avoided. They should only be allowed if they are dead. If the character is not an orphan, then their parents must be horribly rude.

[I_Write_Ivre]

Males who wear dresses are not straight, are never the ones to ask out another person, and can never like sports.

[SebastiansLittleDoll]

I_Write_Ivre

Males who wear dresses are not straight, are never the ones to ask out another person, and can never like sports.

Likewise, females that prefer tuxedos and such aren't straight either. No straight female would like to wear tuxedos, they'd obviously prefer the more feminine clothes.

[CatsAndCatsAndCats]

MC lollygirl

I_Write_Ivre

Males who wear dresses are not straight, are never the ones to ask out another person, and can never like sports.

Likewise, females that prefer tuxedos and such aren't straight either. No straight female would like to wear tuxedos, they'd obviously prefer the more feminine clothes.

On that note: All gays are camp. All lesbians are butch. Bisexuals only exist for the titillation factor. How can a person love someone of the same sex without at least having some aspects of the gender they SHOULD love? It would be preposterous.