The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[Elyarne]

Maltese_Falcon91

((A bunch of reasons, really. I could go into depth, but basically I think it's drawing a line between people who play video games, and people who don't. We don't call people who read books Bookers, and we don't call people who watch TV Televisioners, so I don't see why this medium is so special. Actually, come to think of it, I hate the idea of us calling them "Video Games" in the first place. The term was a lot more appropriate back when we were just running pong in arcades, but I think the medium has developed beyond that. Also the term Game sort of implies that something like Spec-Ops: The Line, is just a toy.))

((People who read books are called 'readers' and people who watch TV are called 'viewers'. I don't see why you would have a problem being referred to as a 'gamer'. Plus, gaming is different to reading and watching TV as it is more interactive. I suppose you could call it 'playing' instead of 'gaming', but it sounds more childlike.))

[Maltese_Falcon91]

Elyarne

((People who read books are called 'readers' and people who watch TV are called 'viewers'. I don't see why you would have a problem being referred to as a 'gamer'.

((Yeah, but reader and viewer are a lot more ambiguous and can mean more than one thing. For instance, someone who's a reader could read novels, the newspaper, online blogs, letters, ect. Gamer... eh, not so much. I guess it can be applied people who play TableTop RPGs but mostly it only really gets used when referring to people who play Video Games.))

[CatsAndCatsAndCats]

Back on topic, doods.

-Appeal to the market. Look at the New York Times bestseller list. What's popular right now? Well, your book needs all of it! Your dystopian vampire detective romance novel will be the best thing since everything.

-Don't will remember how to used tense. Who have to had learned to going to use tense when your book is going to have been finished? ((If you can decipher that, you are more proficient in noobspeak than I ever have been.))

-Have the main event of the plot (i.e. the one described on the blurb) happen about two-thirds of the way through. This gives you more time to develop your characters and builds suspense by making your readers go "GET TO THE START OF THE PLOT ALREADY, JESUS".

-Make sure to describe everything. And I do mean everything.

[I_Write_Ivre]

CatsAndCatsAndCats

-Don't will remember how to used tense. Who have to had learned to going to use tense when your book is going to have been finished?

Your such a prood! I isnot in skool, so I done need ta spell! Jark!!!!11 mrgreen

[marshmallowcreampie]

CatsAndCatsAndCats

-Appeal to the market. Look at the New York Times bestseller list. What's popular right now? Well, your book needs all of it! Your dystopian vampire detective romance novel will be the best thing since everything.

If something is popular, just throw it into your story and don't worry about how it fits into the plot or the setting or anything. Post-apocalyptic stories are popular? Just throw it in! You won't need to change how your characters act or anything. Teenage girl growing up in middle to upper class suburban USA will TOTALLY act like and have the same skills and knowledge as a teenage girl who grew up in a monster-filled, post-apocalyptic wasteland! Vampires? Werewolves? You can turn your character into one of those things without it being relevant to any aspect of the story whatsoever!

[DarknessofHeavenandDreams]

All poor people have only a surround-sound stereo system, a plasma TV, 16 burners to their stoves, 4 full bathrooms, canopy king-sized beds in a bedroom for each person, including the baby, 4 cars, and 3 stories to their houses.

I know it's hard to fathom living in such conditions, but with some research, you'll manage.

[Misuki Marishima]

DarknessofHeavenandDreams

All poor people have only a surround-sound stereo system, a plasma TV, 16 burners to their stoves, 4 full bathrooms, canopy king-sized beds in a bedroom for each person, including the baby, 4 cars, and 3 stories to their houses.

I know it's hard to fathom living in such conditions, but with some research, you'll manage.

(I've never actually seen this as a problem. Have you been reading a lot of stories were poor people have crazy luxuries?)

And all rich people live in a castle or a mansion that has been passed down for generations. There is no such thing as "new money".

[Moral Gutpunch]

Misuki Marishima

DarknessofHeavenandDreams

All poor people have only a surround-sound stereo system, a plasma TV, 16 burners to their stoves, 4 full bathrooms, canopy king-sized beds in a bedroom for each person, including the baby, 4 cars, and 3 stories to their houses.

I know it's hard to fathom living in such conditions, but with some research, you'll manage.

(I've never actually seen this as a problem. Have you been reading a lot of stories were poor people have crazy luxuries?)
.

((Don't be Afraid of the Dark an other movies where describing the kids don't talk like adult, but like robots.))

[marshmallowcreampie]

Misuki Marishima

DarknessofHeavenandDreams

All poor people have only a surround-sound stereo system, a plasma TV, 16 burners to their stoves, 4 full bathrooms, canopy king-sized beds in a bedroom for each person, including the baby, 4 cars, and 3 stories to their houses.

I know it's hard to fathom living in such conditions, but with some research, you'll manage.

(I've never actually seen this as a problem. Have you been reading a lot of stories were poor people have crazy luxuries?)

((I see it a lot in movies and TV shows. I'm working on creating a TV Tropes entry called "Informed Poverty". Like in The Simpsons, they always talk about financial problems yet they live in a big house and have two cars.))

[the hidden ghost]

marshmallowcreampie

Misuki Marishima

DarknessofHeavenandDreams

All poor people have only a surround-sound stereo system, a plasma TV, 16 burners to their stoves, 4 full bathrooms, canopy king-sized beds in a bedroom for each person, including the baby, 4 cars, and 3 stories to their houses.

I know it's hard to fathom living in such conditions, but with some research, you'll manage.

(I've never actually seen this as a problem. Have you been reading a lot of stories were poor people have crazy luxuries?)

((I see it a lot in movies and TV shows. I'm working on creating a TV Tropes entry called "Informed Poverty". Like in The Simpsons, they always talk about financial problems yet they live in a big house and have two cars.))

((They also have like six mortgages on that house. And the only reason they have it is because Grandpa sold his own house so they could afford it. I'd be more inclined to point out all the rather expensive overseas holidays they take, than their living arrangements. Granted, they only paid for about half of their holidays, but the Simpsons still travel a lot more than most families.))

[marshmallowcreampie]

the hidden ghost

((They also have like six mortgages on that house. And the only reason they have it is because Grandpa sold his own house so they could afford it. I'd be more inclined to point out all the rather expensive overseas holidays they take, than their living arrangements. Granted, they only paid for about half of their holidays, but the Simpsons still travel a lot more than most families.))

((Yeah, that does sort of tie back into the Informed Poverty thing. Simpsons doesn't bother to keep any form of continuity, though, so I don't know if I can buy the six mortgages and sold house things.))

[Clare_N]

I_Write_Ivre

CatsAndCatsAndCats

-Don't will remember how to used tense. Who have to had learned to going to use tense when your book is going to have been finished?

Your such a prood! I isnot in skool, so I done need ta spell! Jark!!!!11 mrgreen

Precisely how you should respond if someone points out a spelling mistake. And, for good measure, tell the individual concerned that they should "******** off and mind their own business" because they are "not your English teacher".

[DarknessofHeavenandDreams]

Clare_N

I_Write_Ivre

CatsAndCatsAndCats

-Don't will remember how to used tense. Who have to had learned to going to use tense when your book is going to have been finished?

Your such a prood! I isnot in skool, so I done need ta spell! Jark!!!!11 mrgreen

Precisely how you should respond if someone points out a spelling mistake. And, for good measure, tell the individual concerned that they should "******** off and mind their own business" because they are "not your English teacher".

If they say they are, they'e lying. Teachers don't use the internet.

[Victorias Doll]

Misuki Marishima

And all rich people live in a castle or a mansion that has been passed down for generations. There is no such thing as "new money".

In the rare instances you want to break away from the crowd and have nouveau riche characters, make sure that they either:

a) Blow all of their money away instantly because, let's be serious here, poor people would want to buy every luxury in the world to make up for lost time.

b) Become pretentious assholes who hold themselves higher than anything and everyone and are now only concerned about their money.

[I_Write_Ivre]

Victorias Doll

b) Become pretentious assholes who hold themselves higher than anything and everyone and are now only concerned about their money.

Because now one likes things because they actually like them. That's retarded. Who likes ice cream when you can afford caviar?