The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[Misuki Marishima]

I am The Compendium

Maltese_Falcon91

marshmallowcreampie

Moral Gutpunch

None of the following have contributed to the improvement of society:
Religion
Gunpower
Beer
Abortion
Women's rights
Nationalism

New ideas and inventions only lead to the downfall of the society. This doesn't lead to stagnation or problems going unfixed or anything.

((Hehe, reminds me of an episode of My Name is Earl where they meet a community of people who split off from the Amish long ago because they felt the Amish were getting too advanced. cat_rofl ))

Precisely. Being locked into Medieval Feudalism for thousands of years is A-Okay.

It's not like thousands of years of isolation would cause inbreeding or make a society susceptible to diseases.

And if you try and form peace treaties, no other nations will look down on you for being in isolation so long.

But why do you need them anyway? It's totally probably for a country to have all its resources within its borders, even if it's the size of Rhode Island.

Bonus points to you if your little isolationist country is an island. It worked for Japan and England right?

[marshmallowcreampie]

All the jokes in your story should revolve around memes. This won't make your humor seem lazy or unoriginal in any way and your story TOTALLY won't become quickly outdated.

[I_Write_Ivre]

If your character is tough, it's because they have parental issues. No on jut develops discipline and muscles because they want to/their job requires it.

[1upMushroomCloud]

Remember, if you have a strong female character, any feminine qualities or traits in her should be portrayed to be weaknesses and make her more vulnerable. It's impossible for femininity to be empowering to a strong, tough female. It only makes women submissive and girly.

[I_Write_Ivre]

1upMushroomCloud

Remember, if you have a strong female character, any feminine qualities or traits in her should be portrayed to be weaknesses and make her more vulnerable. It's impossible for femininity to be empowering to a strong, tough female. It only makes women submissive and girly.

make sure all her problmes relate to her being female. She needs BREAST cancer (men can't get that) and the villain she fights is sexist (women can't be sexist and men don't fight sexists) and only she has relationship issues (because only women care about romance).

[1upMushroomCloud]

I_Write_Ivre

1upMushroomCloud

Remember, if you have a strong female character, any feminine qualities or traits in her should be portrayed to be weaknesses and make her more vulnerable. It's impossible for femininity to be empowering to a strong, tough female. It only makes women submissive and girly.

make sure all her problmes relate to her being female. She needs BREAST cancer (men can't get that) and the villain she fights is sexist (women can't be sexist and men don't fight sexists) and only she has relationship issues (because only women care about romance).

A woman will always try to make a deal with the badguy if she feels she can save the life of the masculine man who saver her life. She'll say it's that she "has a debt", but we know its because she secretly harbors feelings for him. This IN NO WAY can be used as a set up or a trick or a ploy, that'd be stupid.

((This, and the original post I made, are why I LOVED Black Widow from the new Avengers movie. She's in control of herself but still managed to have a moment where she seemed emotional and even a touch feminine without it being a vulnerability and destroying her strength and effectiveness as a character))

[I_Write_Ivre]

If you see one person of a sex/gender/ethnicity/religion/orientation/ship for a fandom/etc, real or fictional, ALL people of that group much be exactly like them.

[marshmallowcreampie]

1upMushroomCloud

A woman will always try to make a deal with the badguy if she feels she can save the life of the masculine man who saver her life. She'll say it's that she "has a debt", but we know its because she secretly harbors feelings for him. This IN NO WAY can be used as a set up or a trick or a ploy, that'd be stupid.

Women are too stupid, irrational, and emotional to trick the bad guys, especially in a high-pressure situation.

[DarknessofHeavenandDreams]

marshmallowcreampie

1upMushroomCloud

A woman will always try to make a deal with the badguy if she feels she can save the life of the masculine man who saver her life. She'll say it's that she "has a debt", but we know its because she secretly harbors feelings for him. This IN NO WAY can be used as a set up or a trick or a ploy, that'd be stupid.

Women are too stupid, irrational, and emotional to trick the bad guys, especially in a high-pressure situation.

Except with an offer of sex. But she still needs to be rescued.

Also remember: if someone else did a trope recently, you shouldn't do it. Tropes are bad, mkay?

[Misuki Marishima]

Guys never need rescuing, period.

And if your male hero is forced into kissing the villainess, your heroine should walk in at just the right moment to think he's "cheating."

He's not allowed to struggle either, because what man would fight against a woman's advances? It doesn't matter that she tried to kill him and/or his friends in the past.

[I_Write_Ivre]

Readers aren't just stupid, they suck. Treat them like the meaningless dirt they are and don't give a s**t about them when you write or edit. That way, you'll write the bestest story ever and only cool people who don't whine 'its not interesting' 'what's in it for me' and 'why should I care?' and 'you didn't write it with any audience in mind' will like it.

Heck, insult those people, that'll make the story even cooler.

[marshmallowcreampie]

Readers are morons, they aren't smart like you. So when you want to write stories with themes or symbolism, don't be subtle. At all. In fact, at the bottom of the pages, you should write little author's notes explaining the meaning behind certain actions and events. Like so:

* HEY READERS, your beloved author here! The carousel is symbolic of Kara's childhood, so the destruction of said carousel represents the loss of her innocence and the final transition into her adulthood! Just sayin' this so you know! Toodles!
* Your beloved author again! These few chapters with Lennox spending all that time in the prison work camp, see, they represent a THEME! You probably don't remember because it was mentioned six whole chapters ago, but the company the prisoners do labor for bribes the lawmakers to enforce more laws and have longer sentences so they can keep having lots of cheap labor. So the theme today is CORRUPTION. THAT'S THE WORD OF THE DAY! emotion_awesome

[I_Write_Ivre]

There is no such things as 'objectively bad writing.'

Plotholes? Blatant factual errors? Obvious lapses in logic or understanding of the world? Moral a mess? Call it art and you're fine. Work is for losers.

[avearia]

When a villain starts a Zombie Apocalypse, their best motivation is: because they're bored.

(Seriously, though, why would someone start a zombie apocalypse?)

[marshmallowcreampie]

avearia

When a villain starts a Zombie Apocalypse, their best motivation is: because they're bored.

(Seriously, though, why would someone start a zombie apocalypse?)

((I can think of some accidental motives. Or maybe the person just thought zombies were superior beings and thought they should take over the Earth.))