[ Poll ] The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.		17.1%	[ 1660 ]
I add new things.		15.2%	[ 1477 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).		67.6%	[ 6551 ]

Total Votes: 9688

[avearia]

Alias Onyx RAIDEN

Retaya

Alias Onyx RAIDEN

XxDreamBigxX

FanFantasy

Maintainance is really something that happens when you need to fill up a chapter with how awesome your MC is at fixing things.

Or just when you want to write how hot/sexy your character is in a sexy white shirt and (if female) booty shorts. And have them drinking beer. Because your MC is cool, and all cool people can hold their liquor like it's water.

And if they can't have a motorcycle, and are still the bad-a** type, the second best bet is a jeep or a truck. Cool characters (slightly different from bad-a**) get fancy sports cars that are always clean shiny and waxed. Usually red, but the color is essentially your choice.

And put a high-intensity gravity laser cannon on it. You know, for the added badassery. All cool guys have confusing weapons with even more confusing names.

...like a charged particle proto molecular voltage cyberkinetic pyro laser berometer foked destrucity cannon machine gun torpedo launcher. Yeah...best name for a gun ever.

We call it, "Mr. Thingy".

No, No, No! Weapons always have to sound cool and badass! The name means everything! How about... "The Harbringer", or-or the "Gun Sabre," or, the "Disastatron", or, or--or... "C.P.P.M.V.C.P.L.B.F.D.C.M.G.T.L.!" [abbreviating the weapon's name.]

We don't know what it does, but if the name sounds cool, it's sure to kill everyone in sight!

[Jiraku]

avearia

No, No, No! Weapons always have to sound cool and badass! The name means everything! How about... "The Harbringer", or-or the "Gun Sabre," or, the "Disastatron", or, or--or... "C.P.P.M.V.C.P.L.B.F.D.C.M.G.T.L.!" [abbreviating the weapon's name.]

We don't know what it does, but if the name sounds cool, it's sure to kill everyone in sight!

Of course it could! It has the ability to split right through cars! And while we're at it, why don't we fit a GUN into a NICKEL?

[Clare_N]

Are you writing a sci-fi story and can't come up with a cool name for any of your alien characters? If so, try typing several letters at random, like so:

odiviodg

Now add the letters X and Z at random intervals, which will give you something along the lines of:

Zodzxivizoxdxgz

Basically, call your aliens any name which is unpronounceable in any human language. Or just give them short and simple names like Zarg, Vork or anything that sounds "spacey".

[Retaya]

Clare_N

Are you writing a sci-fi story and can't come up with a cool name for any of your alien characters? If so, try typing several letters at random, like so:

odiviodg

Now add the letters X and Z at random intervals, which will give you something along the lines of:

Zodzxivizoxdxgz

Basically, call your aliens any name which is unpronounceable in any human language. Or just give them short and simple names like Zarg, Vork or anything that sounds "spacey".

Or you can just put 'ian' at the end of any word the heck you want.

You like cats? You like japanese stuff? Try Nekoian!

You think emo and angstu things are cool? Try Despairian!

You a fan of Bon Jovi? Try Bonjovian!

Nobody will notice!

[Firlodge_the_second]

((Maybe the bad guys want us to think they're being a pain in the a** for no apparent reason. Maybe they're really attempting WORLD DOMINATION THROUGH MASS CONFUSION!))

[avearia]

Firlodge_the_second

((Maybe the bad guys want us to think they're being a pain in the a** for no apparent reason. Maybe they're really attempting WORLD DOMINATION THROUGH MASS CONFUSION!))

((Don't be silly. If that would actually work, the Media would've already taken over the world by now.
Wait... on second thought, you may have a point.)) razz

Good guys are not evil, have never been evil, and will never be evil or even be tempted by evil. Ever. He is morally solid and could never even be tricked into doing the wrong thing--and not just him, but his entire party too.

Except the spy who later does a face-heel-turn to join the bad guys, but he was obviously never good in the first place.

There is no such thing as morally grey.

[Alias Onyx RAIDEN]

avearia

Alias Onyx RAIDEN

Retaya

Alias Onyx RAIDEN

XxDreamBigxX

FanFantasy

Maintainance is really something that happens when you need to fill up a chapter with how awesome your MC is at fixing things.

Or just when you want to write how hot/sexy your character is in a sexy white shirt and (if female) booty shorts. And have them drinking beer. Because your MC is cool, and all cool people can hold their liquor like it's water.

And if they can't have a motorcycle, and are still the bad-a** type, the second best bet is a jeep or a truck. Cool characters (slightly different from bad-a**) get fancy sports cars that are always clean shiny and waxed. Usually red, but the color is essentially your choice.

And put a high-intensity gravity laser cannon on it. You know, for the added badassery. All cool guys have confusing weapons with even more confusing names.

...like a charged particle proto molecular voltage cyberkinetic pyro laser berometer foked destrucity cannon machine gun torpedo launcher. Yeah...best name for a gun ever.

We call it, "Mr. Thingy".

No, No, No! Weapons always have to sound cool and badass! The name means everything! How about... "The Harbringer", or-or the "Gun Sabre," or, the "Disastatron", or, or--or... "C.P.P.M.V.C.P.L.B.F.D.C.M.G.T.L.!" [abbreviating the weapon's name.]

We don't know what it does, but if the name sounds cool, it's sure to kill everyone in sight!

Alright, so only the SIDEKICKS call it "Mr. Thingy", and the hero calls it "The Weapon to End All Wars" or something like that.

Because only the scientific types would be able to say the full name all at once.

[FanFantasy]

Jiraku

avearia

No, No, No! Weapons always have to sound cool and badass! The name means everything! How about... "The Harbringer", or-or the "Gun Sabre," or, the "Disastatron", or, or--or... "C.P.P.M.V.C.P.L.B.F.D.C.M.G.T.L.!" [abbreviating the weapon's name.]

We don't know what it does, but if the name sounds cool, it's sure to kill everyone in sight!

Of course it could! It has the ability to split right through cars! And while we're at it, why don't we fit a GUN into a NICKEL?

Not a gun, a LASER.

[Alias Onyx RAIDEN]

FanFantasy

Jiraku

avearia

No, No, No! Weapons always have to sound cool and badass! The name means everything! How about... "The Harbringer", or-or the "Gun Sabre," or, the "Disastatron", or, or--or... "C.P.P.M.V.C.P.L.B.F.D.C.M.G.T.L.!" [abbreviating the weapon's name.]

We don't know what it does, but if the name sounds cool, it's sure to kill everyone in sight!

Of course it could! It has the ability to split right through cars! And while we're at it, why don't we fit a GUN into a NICKEL?

Not a gun, a LASER.

ION cannon.

[WaffleLovingWolf]

Seeing as many pages there are.. this may repeat
To Avoid:
-The main character just happened to know, or felt a disturbance warning him or her of danger.
-The main character just happened to come in for a last minute save
-The main character for some reason looks up to and/or is inspired (and perhaps the best friend) of some emo guy.
-That emo guy's family was wiped out.
-That emo guy is also very attractive.
-The main character always wins, even if he is up against some who should be considered 'more experienced'
-The female character is always useless
-The bad guy wants to destroy the world.
-The bad guy only wins by luck.
-The good guy only wins by luck.
-Human experiments. The main character, was experimented on thus having a sad past.
-only the main character is 'special'
-Anyone Asian must be a samurai or ninja.
-Using the word 'it' or 'things' to describe an object.
-The character looks younger then he should be.
-If a fantasy, you must have a mage (Where you say you are an elementalist and even include lighting as an element), archer, and swordsman.
-The bad guy stole the princess
-the main character was a farmer (Or some other lower class) before he was a knight.
-the hero and herorine fall in love. Have their points where they save each other.
-In a story that involves war, the characters wear uniforms that wouldn't protect them one bit. At least they look sexy.
-because the war is in the future, there are giant robots

[Clare_N]

When writing sex scenes, you should always describe the characters' genitalia in one or more of the following ways:

1, Using crude slang terms such as "c**k" or "p***y"

2, Using flowery descriptions such as "his throbbing rod of passion" or "her most intimate passage"

3, Using twee euphemisms such as "thingy" or "you-know-what", a la "My Immortal"

[twilek_jedi]

Clare_N

When writing sex scenes, you should always describe the characters' genitalia in one or more of the following ways:

1, Using crude slang terms such as "c**k" or "p***y"

2, Using flowery descriptions such as "his throbbing rod of passion" or "her most intimate passage"

3, Using twee euphemisms such as "thingy" or "you-know-what", a la "My Immortal"

They should all end up like 'My Immortal'.
Just use it word for word, changing the names to yours.

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

Clare_N

1, Using crude slang terms such as "c**k" or "p***y"

((I fail to see what's wrong with this.))

[Alias Onyx RAIDEN]

The Phoenix Rises Again

Clare_N

1, Using crude slang terms such as "c**k" or "p***y"

((I fail to see what's wrong with this.))

((Some people prefer more mature writing. So, slang like this kinda' offends them.))

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

Alias Onyx RAIDEN

The Phoenix Rises Again

Clare_N

1, Using crude slang terms such as "c**k" or "p***y"

((I fail to see what's wrong with this.))

((Some people prefer more mature writing. So, slang like this kinda' offends them.))

((Aren't those words there to sound sexy and yet not retarded? If I can't use those, what can I use?))