The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2253 ]
I add new things.	14.9%	[ 1923 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.6%	[ 8707 ]
Total Votes:			[ 12883 ]

[Retaya]

Your main character needs a pimped out ride...be it an awesome car or an awesome horse, their mode of transportation must reflect their epic win-ness.

[avearia]

marshmallowcreampie

Firlodge_the_second

And the MC will always choose their biological parents because of the shared genes despite the fact that their adoptive parents are the ones who fed and clothed them.

Genes trump...oooh....I don't know, actually keeping the infant alive. Always.

Agreed. The minute they find their biological parents, they'll completely ditch their adoptive parents no matter how loving they've been to them. Because they totally know that their biological parents will love them no matter what. No chance of them being crazy or anything. In every single case of a parent giving their child for adoption, they will have been looking for the child the day after giving them up. Every single parent who gave a kid up for adoption REALLY REALLY wants to see their kid again. They never gave the kid up for lack of wanting a kid.

And kids finding their biological parents never have this come back and bite them in the butt; for instance, their real parents are never amoral theifs or gangsters or just lazy bums who realize they suddenly have a new superpowered, famous daughter/son who they can mooch off of or trick into using their kids' powers for their own gain...

The MC is good, so their parents must be too. Good and Evil is a biological thing, doncha know.

[Perchlorate-ClO4]

Nexus_Genesis

FanFantasy

Nexus_Genesis

I am The Compendium

Insane_Flamingo

OdistheOwl

Remember-the government is evil! The government must NEVER help your MC. Your MC must be a REBEL!!!one!!!1eleven!!!!

Unless your MC works for the government, in which case the government bends over backwards and kisses your MC's a**. Everything your MC says is a good idea.

Nothing your MC does is an abuse of power, but if someone of the same job does the same thing, they are abusing power.

Even though they gloss over it with such excuses as, "but it's for the greater good of the survival of this dying society!"

It's a lie.

And so is the cake.

The cake can't be a lie, that is too cliche.

[avearia]

Evil people always have castles, or mansions. They never live in, say, appartments.

[I am The Compendium]

Abandoned wells are everywhere. You can always find one in suburbia.

[marshmallowcreampie]

Retaya

Your main character needs a pimped out ride...be it an awesome car or an awesome horse, their mode of transportation must reflect their epic win-ness.

When it comes to horses, they need to have a pitch-black horse. It was once wild, and everybody tried to tame it, but the only person who could do it was your MC who previously had literally no expirience with horses.

[FanFantasy]

avearia

Jiraku

Never use any cliches whatsoever. Your story need to be 299% 100% original, b***h! Hero wins in the end? WRONG. He dies when the baddie shoots him. Villains cannot carry ANY of the cards, let alone all of them. Hero gets girl in the end or one of both lovers die? You think you're so damn Genre Savvy, don't you? The girl should freaking violently reject that a*****e. That may come off as ungrateful and jackass-ish, but since it's original, that's how it should be. Who gives a s**t if some Tropes like the Thematic Rogues Gallery are necessary in some situations? If it has been done before, then it is worse than sin.

And since being original is cliche in the first place, you're better off not writing anything at all. That's how you get good, right? Never writing anything!

No, fill it with so many cliches that it BECOMES original in a nonoriginal way!

((......Does that even make any sense....?))

And the pimped out ride is a motorcycle, because everyone knows how to ride a motorcycle.

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

FanFantasy

And the pimped out ride is a motorcycle, because everyone knows how to ride a motorcycle.

Motorcycles just appeared at some time along with the Pyramids. They never went through design changes or were made safer and less leaky over the years.

No vehicle needs regular maintainance, just fixing when totalled.

[Alias Scout]

The Phoenix Rises Again

FanFantasy

And the pimped out ride is a motorcycle, because everyone knows how to ride a motorcycle.

Motorcycles just appeared at some time along with the Pyramids. They never went through design changes or were made safer and less leaky over the years.

No vehicle needs regular maintainance, just fixing when totalled.

It also apparently runs on nothing but solar and electric energy. No gas needed!

[FanFantasy]

The Phoenix Rises Again

FanFantasy

And the pimped out ride is a motorcycle, because everyone knows how to ride a motorcycle.

Motorcycles just appeared at some time along with the Pyramids. They never went through design changes or were made safer and less leaky over the years.

No vehicle needs regular maintainance, just fixing when totalled.

Maintainance is really something that happens when you need to fill up a chapter with how awesome your MC is at fixing things.

[Half Baked SF]

If a girl is given a masculine or unisex name, she is always a tomboy. No exceptions.

Boys are NEVER given feminine or unisex names.

[XxDreamBigxX]

FanFantasy

The Phoenix Rises Again

FanFantasy

And the pimped out ride is a motorcycle, because everyone knows how to ride a motorcycle.

Motorcycles just appeared at some time along with the Pyramids. They never went through design changes or were made safer and less leaky over the years.

No vehicle needs regular maintainance, just fixing when totalled.

Maintainance is really something that happens when you need to fill up a chapter with how awesome your MC is at fixing things.

Or just when you want to write how hot/sexy your character is in a sexy white shirt and (if female) booty shorts. And have them drinking beer. Because your MC is cool, and all cool people can hold their liquor like it's water.

And if they can't have a motorcycle, and are still the bad-a** type, the second best bet is a jeep or a truck. Cool characters (slightly different from bad-a**) get fancy sports cars that are always clean shiny and waxed. Usually red, but the color is essentially your choice.

[Alias Scout]

XxDreamBigxX

FanFantasy

The Phoenix Rises Again

FanFantasy

And the pimped out ride is a motorcycle, because everyone knows how to ride a motorcycle.

Motorcycles just appeared at some time along with the Pyramids. They never went through design changes or were made safer and less leaky over the years.

No vehicle needs regular maintainance, just fixing when totalled.

Maintainance is really something that happens when you need to fill up a chapter with how awesome your MC is at fixing things.

Or just when you want to write how hot/sexy your character is in a sexy white shirt and (if female) booty shorts. And have them drinking beer. Because your MC is cool, and all cool people can hold their liquor like it's water.

And if they can't have a motorcycle, and are still the bad-a** type, the second best bet is a jeep or a truck. Cool characters (slightly different from bad-a**) get fancy sports cars that are always clean shiny and waxed. Usually red, but the color is essentially your choice.

And put a high-intensity gravity laser cannon on it. You know, for the added badassery. All cool guys have confusing weapons with even more confusing names.

[Retaya]

Alias Onyx RAIDEN

XxDreamBigxX

FanFantasy

The Phoenix Rises Again

FanFantasy

And the pimped out ride is a motorcycle, because everyone knows how to ride a motorcycle.

Motorcycles just appeared at some time along with the Pyramids. They never went through design changes or were made safer and less leaky over the years.

No vehicle needs regular maintainance, just fixing when totalled.

Maintainance is really something that happens when you need to fill up a chapter with how awesome your MC is at fixing things.

Or just when you want to write how hot/sexy your character is in a sexy white shirt and (if female) booty shorts. And have them drinking beer. Because your MC is cool, and all cool people can hold their liquor like it's water.

And if they can't have a motorcycle, and are still the bad-a** type, the second best bet is a jeep or a truck. Cool characters (slightly different from bad-a**) get fancy sports cars that are always clean shiny and waxed. Usually red, but the color is essentially your choice.

And put a high-intensity gravity laser cannon on it. You know, for the added badassery. All cool guys have confusing weapons with even more confusing names.

...like a charged particle proto molecular voltage cyberkinetic pyro laser berometer foked destrucity cannon machine gun torpedo launcher. Yeah...best name for a gun ever.

[Alias Scout]

Retaya

Alias Onyx RAIDEN

XxDreamBigxX

FanFantasy

The Phoenix Rises Again

FanFantasy

And the pimped out ride is a motorcycle, because everyone knows how to ride a motorcycle.

Motorcycles just appeared at some time along with the Pyramids. They never went through design changes or were made safer and less leaky over the years.

No vehicle needs regular maintainance, just fixing when totalled.

Maintainance is really something that happens when you need to fill up a chapter with how awesome your MC is at fixing things.

Or just when you want to write how hot/sexy your character is in a sexy white shirt and (if female) booty shorts. And have them drinking beer. Because your MC is cool, and all cool people can hold their liquor like it's water.

And if they can't have a motorcycle, and are still the bad-a** type, the second best bet is a jeep or a truck. Cool characters (slightly different from bad-a**) get fancy sports cars that are always clean shiny and waxed. Usually red, but the color is essentially your choice.

And put a high-intensity gravity laser cannon on it. You know, for the added badassery. All cool guys have confusing weapons with even more confusing names.

...like a charged particle proto molecular voltage cyberkinetic pyro laser berometer foked destrucity cannon machine gun torpedo launcher. Yeah...best name for a gun ever.

We call it, "Mr. Thingy".