[ Poll ] The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.		17.2%	[ 1690 ]
I add new things.		15.3%	[ 1500 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).		67.5%	[ 6619 ]

Total Votes: 9809

[notmuch_23]

The Phoenix Rises Again

marshmallowcreampie

Your main MC never adopts. Ever. They must always have their own kid with their lover. Adopting is for old, infertile couples. Everyone knows you can only be truly happy with a kid who is biologically yours.

Despite the fact that the MC is adopted and that's why they never knew they were princes of the angel-vampire-demon-nekos.

Your MC can be more hypocritical than Al Gore but nobody will ever call the MC on any of it.

[FanFantasy]

notmuch_23

The Phoenix Rises Again

marshmallowcreampie

Your main MC never adopts. Ever. They must always have their own kid with their lover. Adopting is for old, infertile couples. Everyone knows you can only be truly happy with a kid who is biologically yours.

Despite the fact that the MC is adopted and that's why they never knew they were princes of the angel-vampire-demon-nekos.

Your MC can be more hypocritical than Al Gore but nobody will ever call the MC on any of it.

Of course not! Your MC is the epitome of goodness, because only THEY can save the world!

[Jiraku]

Never use any cliches whatsoever. Your story need to be 299% 100% original, b***h! Hero wins in the end? WRONG. He dies when the baddie shoots him. Villains cannot carry ANY of the cards, let alone all of them. Hero gets girl in the end or one of both lovers die? You think you're so damn Genre Savvy, don't you? The girl should freaking violently reject that a*****e. That may come off as ungrateful and jackass-ish, but since it's original, that's how it should be. Who gives a s**t if some Tropes like the Thematic Rogues Gallery are necessary in some situations? If it has been done before, then it is worse than sin.

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

FanFantasy

notmuch_23

The Phoenix Rises Again

marshmallowcreampie

Your main MC never adopts. Ever. They must always have their own kid with their lover. Adopting is for old, infertile couples. Everyone knows you can only be truly happy with a kid who is biologically yours.

Despite the fact that the MC is adopted and that's why they never knew they were princes of the angel-vampire-demon-nekos.

Your MC can be more hypocritical than Al Gore but nobody will ever call the MC on any of it.

Of course not! Your MC is the epitome of goodness, because only THEY can save the world!

Unless the person who does is a villain, but it's just an attempt to manipulate them into not stopping them, not something to actually think about.

[Insane_Flamingo]

Jiraku

Never use any cliches whatsoever. Your story need to be 299% 100% original, b***h! Hero wins in the end? WRONG. He dies when the baddie shoots him. Villains cannot carry ANY of the cards, let alone all of them. Hero gets girl in the end or one of both lovers die? You think you're so damn Genre Savvy, don't you? The girl should freaking violently reject that a*****e. That may come off as ungrateful and jackass-ish, but since it's original, that's how it should be. Who gives a s**t if some Tropes like the Thematic Rogues Gallery are necessary in some situations? If it has been done before, then it is worse than sin.

If your story contains any concept that has been thought of before, IT IS TAINTED WITH CLICHE. Even things like hair color. Blonde hair is so overdone. Be original and give your character a color like... aquamaroon.

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

Always argue your age as a good reason to do things people say you shouldn't. Feel free to say 'I'm so young' and 'I'm older' at the same time.

[FanFantasy]

Nobody will find it annoying if you say that it's your first time writing and that you're so young and that NOBODY UNDERSTANDS!!11!1!

[Nexus_Genesis]

The Phoenix Rises Again

Always argue your age as a good reason to do things people say you shouldn't. Feel free to say 'I'm so young' and 'I'm older' at the same time.

And when somebody who knows you tells everybody the truth, baaaaawwwww like a b***h.

(*Ahem, ahem* Newgrounds)

[Clare_N]

And, if your story takes place at a time before you were born, you should never research that period; research is for nerds. Instead, write your story as though it was set in the present day, including references which would be meaningless to someone who really lived in the period you're writing about. Also, if you include any musical references, you can only reference stuff from the last five years, regardless of when your story takes place. Any music more than five years old automatically sucks.

Then, when people point out your inaccuracies and anachronisms, respond by whining that you "weren't born in (insert time period when your story supposedly takes place)".

[DarknessofHeavenandDreams]

Nexus_Genesis

The Phoenix Rises Again

Always argue your age as a good reason to do things people say you shouldn't. Feel free to say 'I'm so young' and 'I'm older' at the same time.

And when somebody who knows you tells everybody the truth, baaaaawwwww like a b***h.

(*Ahem, ahem* Newgrounds)

But claim you're being more mature than everyone else when doing it.

[Ludera]

Clare_N

And, if your story takes place at a time before you were born, you should never research that period; research is for nerds. Instead, write your story as though it was set in the present day, including references which would be meaningless to someone who really lived in the period you're writing about. Also, if you include any musical references, you can only reference stuff from the last five years, regardless of when your story takes place. Any music more than five years old automatically sucks.

Then, when people point out your inaccuracies and anachronisms, respond by whining that you "weren't born in (insert time period when your story supposedly takes place)".

Don't bother researching the modern day either--nothing really changes in five years, and besides, since you lived during that time period, you know all about it already, right?

((Doing this is surprisingly hard! One of my projects is set in mid-March 2004, and I actually had to research the trends and politics and stuff; even though I lived it it turns out my perception was off. I know I still have anachronisms in my character designs--which I am keeping because current clothes are better and also because it's stupidly difficult to find teenage fashion trends in 2004 for whatever reason--and probably some others that slipped under the radar. It's second nature to think that Subculture A is well-known, that Group B is associated with Idea C and that society was mostly concerned about Problem D because that's what's happening right now and Now melds together with Just A Few Years Ago. That's not how it is in reality, unfortunately.

Also I apologize if anything meant to be an apostrophe or a question mark in my posts is a weird sequence of letters, a white box or if it just looks off. For some reason my keyboard switched to French and I don't know how to reverse it. smile )

[Jungle Executive]

whee

[.N.o.i.r.]

Your MC has to either be in a relationship or not, it can't be one that's breaking down and MC's never get divorced especially if they have a kid that's a big no no.

[OdistheOwl]

Gold is definitely THE BEST metal for armors, weapons, etc. Never mind that pure gold is too soft to stop a punch, let alone a sword!

Remember-the government is evil! The government must NEVER help your MC. Your MC must be a REBEL!!!one!!!1eleven!!!!

Also, ignore grammar. Grammar just holds you back. Exprezz urseLF homeever yu likeez?!!!?! Grammar Nazis are BAD people, they are antichrists hiding under your bed, waiting to stomp on all your literary dreams. Nothing good can come of reading their posts or accepting their recommendations.

Finally, make sure that you post your story in every single forum! Of course the people in the Aquarium threads want to read your INCREDIBLE and AWE-INSPIRING prose! Of course they're not there to make money off of booty grab! They are there to worship you. Everyone in the world exists to worship you. Except Grammar Nazis, who aren't really people to begin with.