The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2292 ]
I add new things.	14.9%	[ 1951 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.6%	[ 8852 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13095 ]

[marshmallowcreampie]

Regarding clothing... The female protagonist must always wear super high heels, and still be able to run super fast in them.

[Felicity Roze]

avearia

D i i N O Q U E E N

marshmallowcreampie

D i i N O Q U E E N

If your character is a student then they must have MANY things to do, and the genera HAS to be fantasy. The more things you topple on their plate the better the story. And the character can never be over worked he or she must always be willing to do more. it SHOULD be a female character and she should wear nothing but a school uniform even when she sleeps, she should be exclusively and unbelivabley beautiful but have that "im waiting for marrige because im a good girl" routine going on.

Even if the school didn't have uniforms and just a dress code, your character can still get away with wearing super slutty outfits to school.

((In my story I plan to write, where I use as many bad writing tips as I can, the main character is at school wearing a super short tight skirt and super low tight top. It's against the dress code but since she is such a favorite with the teacher's and everyone else in the world she can get away with it. Oh, and she will be saving sex for marriage. She has her romantic teen marriage, and her teen pregnancy baby to make things even more romantic. rofl ))

like the girl on degrassi! except of course your main character has to have an unbelivably revealing uniform thats ACTUALLY different from the red jumpers every one else has to wear. It's because her boobs are so huge and she's three sizes to big for the jumper. In fact her boobs ARE so huge. the bra factorys had to create a whole new size. but of course, she's never noticed. ignorance is bliss i supose

That is the key: she never notices. She can be the most beautiful girl in the world, more than all the supermodels combined--and people can tell her so. People tell her she looks like a goddess, and shower her with gifts and affection, and men go weak-kneed near her; her father has forbid any males from her room to protect her from potential lovers. It must be blatantly obvious how beautiful she is, how perfect her features are, how impeccable her form (like her bust) is. But she'll always beleive that she's just like everyone else, and consider herself average.

It just wouldn't be the same if she knew she was pretty, or--*GASP!* used that to her advantage. That would make her evil. A perfect protagonist always must think she's normal.

No she doesnt think she's average she thinks she's ugly. she crys herself to sleep every night wishing she were pretty and spends lunch vomitting up that diet drink thats made fifty percent of sugar fifty percent water. thats all she ever eats because she think's she's so fat and cant listen when people tell her she's gorgeous.

[Felicity Roze]

marshmallowcreampie

Regarding clothing... The female protagonist must always wear super high heels, and still be able to run super fast in them.

on the contrary all women magically become clumsy doofs after their 20th birthday. Thus why their husbands beat them. Its strongly justified!

[notmuch_23]

D i i N O Q U E E N

marshmallowcreampie

Regarding clothing... The female protagonist must always wear super high heels, and still be able to run super fast in them.

on the contrary all women magically become clumsy doofs after their 20th birthday. Thus why their husbands beat them. Its strongly justified!

and every guy that isn't the female MC's love interest is either a total a*****e, a total douchebag, an abuser, a rapist, or fat and ugly; NO EXCEPTIONS!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!!

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

Good guys never argue against waiting until marriage or even get horny, no matter what the heroine does, says, or looks like.

[Felicity Roze]

The Phoenix Rises Again

Good guys never argue against waiting until marriage or even get horny, no matter what the heroine does, says, or looks like.

on the contrary men are pigs no matter what, theres not a SINGLE guy on earth who wouldent want to tap that.

[Retaya]

D i i N O Q U E E N

The Phoenix Rises Again

Good guys never argue against waiting until marriage or even get horny, no matter what the heroine does, says, or looks like.

on the contrary men are pigs no matter what, theres not a SINGLE guy on earth who wouldent want to tap that.

Really it all depends on your personal prefferance. The trick is to always make them either complete and total horny pigs, or complete and total chaste pastor's sons. ALWAYS stay away from any grey areas.

[The Size of Your Fist]

High school Romances always last forever. People never change as they mature, or drift apart, or even move away to different colleges. That's because it's always twu wuv, even if you're only 14.

((I've faced a real life version of this. A girl on my bus, a sophomore, is dating a Freshman in college, and she plays the whole "waiting till marriage good christian girl" thing going on. She said something not long ago about she and her boyfriend were in love and were never going to break up. I said something along the lines of "I doubt it" to my friend next to me. She over heard and proceeded to yell at me about how she loved him and they were meant to be together.

Unsurprisingly enough, she is an avid fan of "Twilight." 3 guesses where she gets her idea of teen love, and the first 2 don't count.))

[Glaedr52]

Lord_Loss_17

High school Romances always last forever. People never change as they mature, or drift apart, or even move away to different colleges. That's because it's always twu wuv, even if you're only 14.

((I've faced a real life version of this. A girl on my bus, a sophomore, is dating a Freshman in college, and she plays the whole "waiting till marriage good christian girl" thing going on. She said something not long ago about she and her boyfriend were in love and were never going to break up. I said something along the lines of "I doubt it" to my friend next to me. She over heard and proceeded to yell at me about how she loved him and they were meant to be together.

Unsurprisingly enough, she is an avid fan of "Twilight." 3 guesses where she gets her idea of teen love, and the first 2 don't count.))

((Holy-mother-of-whatever-god-you-choose-to-worship. The Anti-Guide has come to life. What's next? Gangsters using swords in gunfights and winning?))

[the hidden ghost]

((One of the girls in my class married her high school sweet-heart. And according to rumour, waited until marriage to lose her virginity. I don't think she ever claimed they were never ever going to break up - she was smarter than that, I believe. She just got lucky.))

[Clare_N]

marshmallowcreampie

Regarding clothing... The female protagonist must always wear super high heels, and still be able to run super fast in them.

Not to mention the fact that she must also wear the skimpiest, least practical outfit ever invented. And the more cleavage she shows, the better; everyone knows female characters are only there to serve as "eye candy" for the males.

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

Retaya

D i i N O Q U E E N

The Phoenix Rises Again

Good guys never argue against waiting until marriage or even get horny, no matter what the heroine does, says, or looks like.

on the contrary men are pigs no matter what, theres not a SINGLE guy on earth who wouldent want to tap that.

Really it all depends on your personal prefferance. The trick is to always make them either complete and total horny pigs, or complete and total chaste pastor's sons. ALWAYS stay away from any grey areas.

The exception to the latter being the obvious villain all character will be surprised to know is a bad guy.

[Ludera]

Golden rule of fantasy clothing:

The less practical the costume, the better the fighter any given character is, male or female.

((Pick any JRPG ever, look at the character designs, and then find an argument on the internet about the "top-tier" characters and the hardest [human-looking] bosses. Expect the characters with the most outrageous/skimpy/downright stupid clothes to be talked about most--these games follow the rule to a T.))

((To add onto that high school sweetheart thing--my parents met each other when they were 14, started dating at 16, married in their early twenties and they're still together at 50. So yeah.))

[Retaya]

Ludera

Golden rule of fantasy clothing:

The less practical the costume, the better the fighter any given character is, male or female.

((Pick any JRPG ever, look at the character designs, and then find an argument on the internet about the "top-tier" characters and the hardest [human-looking] bosses. Expect the characters with the most outrageous/skimpy/downright stupid clothes to be talked about most--these games follow the rule to a T.))

((To add onto that high school sweetheart thing--my parents met each other when they were 14, started dating at 16, married in their early twenties and they're still together at 50. So yeah.))

((One word.....Yunalesca.))

[twilek_jedi]

I do believe the motto for females is 'hope the archers aim for the shiny bits'.

Archers aren't actually all that important in a battle. You'd do better to have a bunch of guys with swords. Or just one guy with a badass 7 foot long gold, diamond-edged sword.
If you're using archers in a fortress, be sure to place them inside, behind the wall where they can't see. Have them shoot over everyone else into the army that they can't see. ((Gah! I know they happen to be elves, but the Two Towers movie! Just that tiny little part bugged me to no end. Not the ones on the wall, but the ones in the actual fortress shooting over the archers at the wall.))
Under no circumstances should you be a pragmatic problem-solver. Don't trap the other army in their fortress with no food, don't send a mole in to poison the food/water, and don't try to sneak suicide assassins in to take down the enemy leaders.