The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2292 ]
I add new things.	14.9%	[ 1951 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.6%	[ 8852 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13095 ]

[Brother Cynical]

I_Write_Ivre

I_Write_Ivre

Horniness and love are the same thing.

((someone reply to this please))

((Reply. WHAT?! You never said I had to say anything SPECIFIC!))

[notmuch_23]

I_Write_Ivre

Horniness and love are the same thing.

That's why love is always at the first sight! The hero can't love an ugly old hag!

[Ludera]

notmuch_23

NEVER USE MORBID HUMOR! IN FACT, NEVER USE ANY HUMOR AT ALL! IT CONFUSES PEOPLE!

ALSO, TYPE YOUR WHOLE STORY IN ALL CAPS! EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL TO COOL!

IT HELPS A LOT IF YOU YOURSELF DO NOT HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, AND TAKE EVERY LITTLE DETAIL OF YOUR STORY VERY SERIOUSLY. WRITING IS VERY SERIOUS BUSINESS, DO NOT EVER DOUBT THIS FACT.

((In passing, I am pretty sure the author's inability to lighten up is why tons of amateur fiction fails.))

[avearia]

When writing, you should totally describe everything in extreme and redundant detail even (or especially,) if it has nothing to do with the plot. Example:

-
She said, "Let's sit down." the two of them walked over off the path. Near them was a large, beautiful oak tree that stood out from the rest. Its branches spread out and it provided a lot of shade. The bark was rough but not too rough and was a nice pleasing brown color. The leaves were just beginning to turn color because it was fall and some had fallen off the tree already, but not too many becuase it wasn't that late in the season yet. The grass under the tree was soft, green, and plush.
The two people walked past that tree a ways, sitting down about 100 feet away on a picnic table.

[Brother Cynical]

Always make sure there's at least one uber-smart person in your group that has a smarmy British accent and glasses. No story is complete without one.

You can't live without the stereotypical psychotic gun-toting mass murderer as a member of your team.

Matrix. 'Nuff said.

And let's not forget, you party ALWAYS has to have some form of flying base of operations. Airships are too cool to be left out.

[avearia]

Crack-Shot-Ace

Always make sure there's at least one uber-smart person in your group that has a smarmy British accent and glasses. No story is complete without one.

You can't live without the stereotypical psychotic gun-toting mass murderer as a member of your team.

In fact, all teams must have a formula:

The Brave Leader
The Snarky Second-in-command [occasionally a chick]
The Compassionate Girl
The Kick-a** Black chick (sometimes is a dude,)
The Amoral Psycho (who knows HOW THE HELL he got onto the team,)
The Big Dumb Guy
The Sidekick/Mascot (may be an animal)
The Nerd/Genius
The Mentor

Did I miss anybody?

[Brother Cynical]

avearia

Crack-Shot-Ace

Always make sure there's at least one uber-smart person in your group that has a smarmy British accent and glasses. No story is complete without one.

You can't live without the stereotypical psychotic gun-toting mass murderer as a member of your team.

In fact, all teams must have a formula:

The Brave Leader
The Snarky Second-in-command [occasionally a chick]
The Compassionate Girl
The Kick-a** Black chick (sometimes is a dude,)
The Amoral Psycho (who knows HOW THE HELL he got onto the team,)
The Big Dumb Guy
The Sidekick/Mascot (may be an animal)
The Nerd/Genius
The Mentor

Did I miss anybody?

What about the uber-powerful and godly Ninja?! How COULD you forget HIM?!

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

avearia

Crack-Shot-Ace

Always make sure there's at least one uber-smart person in your group that has a smarmy British accent and glasses. No story is complete without one.

You can't live without the stereotypical psychotic gun-toting mass murderer as a member of your team.

In fact, all teams must have a formula:

The Brave Leader
The Snarky Second-in-command [occasionally a chick]
The Compassionate Girl
The Kick-a** Black chick (sometimes is a dude,)
The Amoral Psycho (who knows HOW THE HELL he got onto the team,)
The Big Dumb Guy
The Sidekick/Mascot (may be an animal)
The Nerd/Genius
The Mentor

Did I miss anybody?

The obvious spy/heel-turn villain/traitor

[avearia]

The Phoenix Rises Again

avearia

Crack-Shot-Ace

Always make sure there's at least one uber-smart person in your group that has a smarmy British accent and glasses. No story is complete without one.

You can't live without the stereotypical psychotic gun-toting mass murderer as a member of your team.

In fact, all teams must have a formula:

The Brave Leader
The Snarky Second-in-command [occasionally a chick]
The Compassionate Girl
The Kick-a** Black chick (sometimes is a dude,)
The Amoral Psycho (who knows HOW THE HELL he got onto the team,)
The Big Dumb Guy
The Sidekick/Mascot (may be an animal)
The Nerd/Genius
The Mentor

Did I miss anybody?

The obvious spy/heel-turn villain/traitor

Well, yes, but any of these characters can be combined. The heel-face-turn can go to any of them but the Bravve Leader or Comapssionate girl. Probably best to have the Amoral Psycho do it; no that is not predictable, and yet it still makes sense. since he's crazy, you know.

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

avearia

The Phoenix Rises Again

avearia

Crack-Shot-Ace

Always make sure there's at least one uber-smart person in your group that has a smarmy British accent and glasses. No story is complete without one.

You can't live without the stereotypical psychotic gun-toting mass murderer as a member of your team.

In fact, all teams must have a formula:

The Brave Leader
The Snarky Second-in-command [occasionally a chick]
The Compassionate Girl
The Kick-a** Black chick (sometimes is a dude,)
The Amoral Psycho (who knows HOW THE HELL he got onto the team,)
The Big Dumb Guy
The Sidekick/Mascot (may be an animal)
The Nerd/Genius
The Mentor

Did I miss anybody?

The obvious spy/heel-turn villain/traitor

Well, yes, but any of these characters can be combined. The heel-face-turn can go to any of them but the Bravve Leader or Comapssionate girl. Probably best to have the Amoral Psycho do it; no that is not predictable, and yet it still makes sense. since he's crazy, you know.

The mentor cannot be the villain. The villain has to kill him.

[Brother Cynical]

Crack-Shot-Ace

avearia

Crack-Shot-Ace

Always make sure there's at least one uber-smart person in your group that has a smarmy British accent and glasses. No story is complete without one.

You can't live without the stereotypical psychotic gun-toting mass murderer as a member of your team.

In fact, all teams must have a formula:

The Brave Leader
The Snarky Second-in-command [occasionally a chick]
The Compassionate Girl
The Kick-a** Black chick (sometimes is a dude,)
The Amoral Psycho (who knows HOW THE HELL he got onto the team,)
The Big Dumb Guy
The Sidekick/Mascot (may be an animal)
The Nerd/Genius
The Mentor

Did I miss anybody?

What about the uber-powerful and godly Ninja?! How COULD you forget HIM?!

And before I forget, there's always one character who can somehow see the future. Every team. NO EXCEPTIONS.

[avearia]

avearia

Crack-Shot-Ace

Always make sure there's at least one uber-smart person in your group that has a smarmy British accent and glasses. No story is complete without one.

You can't live without the stereotypical psychotic gun-toting mass murderer as a member of your team.

In fact, all teams must have a formula:

The Brave Leader
The Snarky Second-in-command [occasionally a chick]
The Compassionate Girl
The Kick-a** Black chick (sometimes is a dude,)
The Amoral Psycho (who knows HOW THE HELL he got onto the team,)
The Big Dumb Guy
The Sidekick/Mascot (may be an animal)
The Nerd/Genius
The Mentor

Did I miss anybody?

Edit: adding:

The Super Powerful Ninja Dude who only shows up 3/100 chapters
The Cheerful Helpful Boy Who Is In Fact Working For The Villain
The Comedic Relief [May be The Sidekick/Mascot]
The Stupid Foreigner [may be the Big Dumb Guy]
The Magician/Mage/Sorcerer/ess/Witch Who Sees teh Future
The Author Self-Insert

[Ludera]

avearia

In fact, all teams must have a formula:

The Brave Leader
The Snarky Second-in-command [occasionally a chick]
The Compassionate Girl
The Kick-a** Black chick (sometimes is a dude,)
The Amoral Psycho (who knows HOW THE HELL he got onto the team,)
The Big Dumb Guy
The Sidekick/Mascot (may be an animal)
The Nerd/Genius
The Mentor
The Super Powerful Ninja Dude who only shows up 3/100 chapters
The Cheerful Helpful Boy Who Is In Fact Working For The Villain
The Comedic Relief [May be The Sidekick/Mascot]
The Stupid Foreigner [may be the Big Dumb Guy]
The Magician/Mage/Sorcerer/ess/Witch Who Sees teh Future
The Author Self-Insert

You are forgetting the ambiguously gay duo. Sometimes they are comedic relief, sometimes they are not, but they are almost always inconsequential. In the case that they do something to move the plot along, one of them dies at the end.

[avearia]

Ludera

avearia

In fact, all teams must have a formula:

The Brave Leader
The Snarky Second-in-command [occasionally a chick]
The Compassionate Girl
The Kick-a** Black chick (sometimes is a dude,)
The Amoral Psycho (who knows HOW THE HELL he got onto the team,)
The Big Dumb Guy
The Sidekick/Mascot (may be an animal)
The Nerd/Genius
The Mentor
The Super Powerful Ninja Dude who only shows up 3/100 chapters
The Cheerful Helpful Boy Who Is In Fact Working For The Villain
The Comedic Relief [May be The Sidekick/Mascot]
The Stupid Foreigner [may be the Big Dumb Guy]
The Magician/Mage/Sorcerer/ess/Witch Who Sees teh Future
The Author Self-Insert

You are forgetting the ambiguously gay duo. Sometimes they are comedic relief, sometimes they are not, but they are almost always inconsequential. In the case that they do something to move the plot along, one of them dies at the end.

Oh, right.
You know who else I forgot? The Goth Chick/Emo Boy. I totally spaced it off. Every team has one. or several.

[FanFantasy]

Crack-Shot-Ace

Crack-Shot-Ace

avearia

Crack-Shot-Ace

Always make sure there's at least one uber-smart person in your group that has a smarmy British accent and glasses. No story is complete without one.

You can't live without the stereotypical psychotic gun-toting mass murderer as a member of your team.

In fact, all teams must have a formula:

The Brave Leader
The Snarky Second-in-command [occasionally a chick]
The Compassionate Girl
The Kick-a** Black chick (sometimes is a dude,)
The Amoral Psycho (who knows HOW THE HELL he got onto the team,)
The Big Dumb Guy
The Sidekick/Mascot (may be an animal)
The Nerd/Genius
The Mentor

Did I miss anybody?

What about the uber-powerful and godly Ninja?! How COULD you forget HIM?!

And before I forget, there's always one character who can somehow see the future. Every team. NO EXCEPTIONS.

That person is the compassionate girl, normally.
Then there's:
The obviously evil-yet-noone-notices guy.
The Mysterious Sexy Guy
The Womanist
and The supersmart girl who shuns everyone.

((This is completly off topic, but I want this thread to go so long that they'll be a day when I can make an Over 9000 joke.))