The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2292 ]
I add new things.	14.9%	[ 1951 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.6%	[ 8852 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13095 ]

[Araia.Naishi]

x_haphazard_x

Tavreynya

Everyone is familiar with the darker side of town. This means that any five-year-old the hero approaches in the street could point him unerringly to the best whorehouse. And yet, children are always innocent and pure of intention. For this reason, the hero(ine) must always include a small child (age eight or younger) in their traveling party. This will cause your audience to scream "KAWAIII~!" at random intervals and ignore other less important things, like plot.

((I actually have (well, NOW he is, he used to be important) a random kid character eek But it's not like he travels around with him, and he's at the center of a huge custody battle. Should I keep him?))

We're mainly talking fantasy stories here, with custody battles, you can't just drop the kid afterward. Keep him.

[Tavreynya]

x_haphazard_x

((I actually have (well, NOW he is, he used to be important) a random kid character eek But it's not like he travels around with him, and he's at the center of a huge custody battle. Should I keep him?))

Hey, go ahead, it's your story. I'm mainly referring to those people who have kids in their stories that contribute nothing to the plot and are simply there as props.

[~Rue.The.Day~]

Tavreynya

x_haphazard_x

((I actually have (well, NOW he is, he used to be important) a random kid character eek But it's not like he travels around with him, and he's at the center of a huge custody battle. Should I keep him?))

Hey, go ahead, it's your story. I'm mainly referring to those people who have kids in their stories that contribute nothing to the plot and are simply there as props.

<< Kids as props are schmexay. We should use them all the time! >>

Every Hero/ine rides a white horse/dragon/donkey/magic carpet. Likewise, the Villian/ess rides a black horse/dragon/donkey/magic carpet.

Genies (Djinns, djinnis, efrits, iifrits) are either incredibly helpful or easily outsmarted. Do not do research on such creatures or what they look like. Watching Aladdin twice should do.

[x_haphazard_x]

Tavreynya

x_haphazard_x

((I actually have (well, NOW he is, he used to be important) a random kid character eek But it's not like he travels around with him, and he's at the center of a huge custody battle. Should I keep him?))

Hey, go ahead, it's your story. I'm mainly referring to those people who have kids in their stories that contribute nothing to the plot and are simply there as props.

((But he just kinda walks around the office all the time, playing with the gross things the janitor finds... crying And he doesn't even speak the same language as the rest of the characters...))

[~Rue.The.Day~]

x_haphazard_x

Tavreynya

x_haphazard_x

((I actually have (well, NOW he is, he used to be important) a random kid character eek But it's not like he travels around with him, and he's at the center of a huge custody battle. Should I keep him?))

Hey, go ahead, it's your story. I'm mainly referring to those people who have kids in their stories that contribute nothing to the plot and are simply there as props.

((But he just kinda walks around the office all the time, playing with the gross things the janitor finds... crying And he doesn't even speak the same language as the rest of the characters...))

<<Ask yourself this: Could your story do just as well without the custody battle? If not, keep him. If so....well, I guess that's up to you. >>

[Trixa Pyswell]

Human romance is so overrated. Try making them a vampire/catdemon+angel/elf,
that will make it much more interesting to read about.

[~Rue.The.Day~]

Trixa Pyswell

Human romance is so overrated. Try making them a vampire/catdemon+angel/elf,
that will make it much more interesting to read about.

If all else fails, the readers will be ushered into a moment of silence while attempting to figure out how the anatomy would fit together, as we've already explained that a couple that doesn't fit perfectly together will not last.

[Tavreynya]

Werewolves most certainly do not lose control of themselves with the full moon. They are always fully in control of their faculties, no matter what form. Savage beasts? Nuh-uh. Werewolves exist solely for the purpose of furry sex.

...:retches:

[Araia.Naishi]

Tavreynya

Werewolves most certainly do not lose control of themselves with the full moon. They are always fully in control of their faculties, no matter what form. Savage beasts? Nuh-uh. Werewolves exist solely for the purpose of furry sex.

...:retches:

Especially the ones like -coughFenrir coughGreyback- who want you to think they lose control, but don't.

[~Rue.The.Day~]

Tavreynya

Werewolves most certainly do not lose control of themselves with the full moon. They are always fully in control of their faculties, no matter what form. Savage beasts? Nuh-uh. Werewolves exist solely for the purpose of furry sex.

...:retches:

In fact, WereWolves don't even transform during mating season. They simply become "wolflike" because, otherwise, it would be beastiality...and that's naughty.

[x_haphazard_x]

~Rue.The.Day~

x_haphazard_x

Tavreynya

x_haphazard_x

((I actually have (well, NOW he is, he used to be important) a random kid character eek But it's not like he travels around with him, and he's at the center of a huge custody battle. Should I keep him?))

Hey, go ahead, it's your story. I'm mainly referring to those people who have kids in their stories that contribute nothing to the plot and are simply there as props.

((But he just kinda walks around the office all the time, playing with the gross things the janitor finds... crying And he doesn't even speak the same language as the rest of the characters...))

<<Ask yourself this: Could your story do just as well without the custody battle? If not, keep him. If so....well, I guess that's up to you. >>

((Without him, well, I have to do either one thing or the other, or else we have no representation of that race... I'm thinking I want variety in ages, too. I have to keep one or the other, or else it won't work.))

[Squawk]

~Rue.The.Day~

Your signature is the best thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Sadly, I know nothing about colorguard--but I do march Wind and sometimes play Pit. However, anything that involves Colorguard on this site, I shall gladly support. 3nodding

Wow, I left for a day and there were a lot of new messages. And thank you! I had fun making my signature.

[Araia.Naishi]

Oh, I linked to this thread for inspiration in my contest thread. -pokes siggy- whee I think it'll be helpful. Keep 'em coming!

[~Rue.The.Day~]

Squawk

~Rue.The.Day~

Your signature is the best thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Sadly, I know nothing about colorguard--but I do march Wind and sometimes play Pit. However, anything that involves Colorguard on this site, I shall gladly support. 3nodding

Wow, I left for a day and there were a lot of new messages. And thank you! I had fun making my signature.

I watch our guard--well, not mine anyway, because I'm in college now--and they are hawt! I mean that "toss and spin" wise, not hot-hawt. o_O

[Squawk]

~Rue.The.Day~

I watch our guard--well, not mine anyway, because I'm in college now--and they are hawt! I mean that "toss and spin" wise, not hot-hawt. o_O

I have a number of sexy bruises from the sabre practice we had yesterday. Those things hurt!

--

On Colours

Black is the colour of all evil. Always.

Hair should take generally 4-6 paragraphs to describe due to the use of sentence enhancing words like "luxuriose" (yes, spelled in that fashion) and "silky".

Hero/ine(s) never have a hair colour like "blonde" or "brown". There needs to be a very fancy way to say it, such as, "the colour of the warm melted chocolate with little bits of lighter tan-ish stuff". Much more interesting and succinct.

On Word Choice

It is best to have a thesaurus that you use for EVERYTHING. That way, when you think you have a paragraph that might be dull or drab, you can just stick in some new words and litter the page. No one will notice.

Never, ever check to make sure the definition of the word you are replacing the old one with matches. That's just stupid.

spelign??? whtas dat???

On Other Stuff

Be sure to give characters varying accents despite the fact that they live in the same area.

Women are either weak, or bitches. Nothing in between.