[ Poll ] The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.		17.2%	[ 1666 ]
I add new things.		15.2%	[ 1478 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).		67.6%	[ 6560 ]

Total Votes: 9704

[avearia]

I am The Compendium

LeeEyeLa

If your book has a conflict, it can NOT appear until at least page 200. After that many pages of romantic fluff, of course.

Don't forget descriptions of pretty things like curtains and dresses and hair!

In fact, that's all you do in pages 1-199. Describe things. Characters. Ideas. Remember, nothing can have too much description, and of course you need 199 pages to fill that quota.
Example:
"The air was as clear as crystal clear water or crystals that you find in caves, only clearer. The air was cold too, like she was standing in the artic or in her freezer. The cold, crystal clear air surrounded CharacterA, and it was cold. and clear."

[I am The Compendium]

If you pose a question, you never have to answer it or even develop it.

[e d e n - s o n g]

I am The Compendium

If you pose a question, you never have to answer it or even develop it.

((Actually, leaving questions isn't so bad. What is though...))

You should leave nothing, absolutely nothing to the imagination or to interpretation.

[Ludera]

A Nightmare of Eden

I am The Compendium

If you pose a question, you never have to answer it or even develop it.

((Actually, leaving questions isn't so bad. What is though...))

You should leave nothing, absolutely nothing to the imagination or to interpretation.

And should you find a reader with a different interpretation regardless of how you shoved your own in their faces, you need to immediately throw a huge bitchfit about how WRONG she is and how she is defacing your BEAUTIFUL WORK OF ART. Make sure to use A LOT OF CAPITAL LETTERS. How dare your fans not think like you! (Having any fans or readers entitles you to this sort of behaviour.)

[e d e n - s o n g]

Ludera

A Nightmare of Eden

I am The Compendium

If you pose a question, you never have to answer it or even develop it.

((Actually, leaving questions isn't so bad. What is though...))
You should leave nothing, absolutely nothing to the imagination or to interpretation.

And should you find a reader with a different interpretation regardless of how you shoved your own in their faces, you need to immediately throw a huge bitchfit about how WRONG she is and how she is defacing your BEAUTIFUL WORK OF ART. Make sure to use A LOT OF CAPITAL LETTERS. How dare your fans not think like you! (Having any fans or readers entitles you to this sort of behaviour.)

((This is something that really a good story from a bad story. At least for me. Good writers will leave everything up to interpretation and let readers come to their own conclusions. A bad writer will tell you this action was good, this action was bad, this means this. Ewwwww.))

[Jhesy]

There are two ways to leaving questions unanswered: Good and BAD!!!11 To be a truly awesome writer, you have to know the difference.

BAD!!!11: Leave just enough questions that your writing sticks in your readers' minds and they spend countless hours developing their own fascinating interpretation of the work. This allows them to engage in a intelligent conversation regarding the overall themes, symbolism, and character development of your piece without being bogged down by the author's own interpretation, which is AWFUL!

Good: Throw some vague, half-baked BS into the middle of the work and never mention it again until the very end, where you round everything out with even more vague, half-baked BS. This will seal in your status as an uber-mysterious and refined writer. You definitely won't look too lazy to deal with all of your plot elements or that you just totally forgot they were in there until you skimmed over it before hitting "Submit."

[Misuki Marishima]

And remember that nighttime is only good for a few things.

1. Sneaking in.
2. A nighttime battle that lasts until dawn.
3. Assassination.
4. Full moons.
5. Vampires.

[DarknessofHeavenandDreams]

Misuki Marishima

And remember that nighttime is only good for a few things.

1. Sneaking in.
2. A nighttime battle that lasts until dawn.
3. Assassination.
4. Full moons.
5. Vampires.

6. Dancing
7. Wolves
8. Curses

[Jiraku]

DarknessofHeavenandDreams

Misuki Marishima

And remember that nighttime is only good for a few things.

1. Sneaking in.
2. A nighttime battle that lasts until dawn.
3. Assassination.
4. Full moons.
5. Vampires.

6. Dancing
7. Wolves
8. Curses

9. Making something to do away with so glorious Day can return, because Night is Evil. ((I do not like this one.))

[DarknessofHeavenandDreams]

Jiraku

DarknessofHeavenandDreams

Misuki Marishima

And remember that nighttime is only good for a few things.

1. Sneaking in.
2. A nighttime battle that lasts until dawn.
3. Assassination.
4. Full moons.
5. Vampires.

6. Dancing
7. Wolves
8. Curses

9. Making something to do away with so glorious Day can return, because Night is Evil. ((I do not like this one.))

((I hate it with a burning passion))

[Jiraku]

DarknessofHeavenandDreams

Jiraku

DarknessofHeavenandDreams

Misuki Marishima

And remember that nighttime is only good for a few things.

1. Sneaking in.
2. A nighttime battle that lasts until dawn.
3. Assassination.
4. Full moons.
5. Vampires.

6. Dancing
7. Wolves
8. Curses

9. Making something to do away with so glorious Day can return, because Night is Evil. ((I do not like this one.))

((I hate it with a burning passion))

((Peoplez need to know that while night is usually more dangerous, it also serves as a time of shade and rest, while day can burn, dehydrate, and blind people.))

[Fabulous Dahling]

Jiraku

DarknessofHeavenandDreams

Misuki Marishima

And remember that nighttime is only good for a few things.

1. Sneaking in.
2. A nighttime battle that lasts until dawn.
3. Assassination.
4. Full moons.
5. Vampires.

6. Dancing
7. Wolves
8. Curses

9. Making something to do away with so glorious Day can return, because Night is Evil.

10. Running away from home (because your character is so hxc rebellious)
11. Smex (the romantic kind)

[M e i]

Fabulous Dahling

Jiraku

DarknessofHeavenandDreams

Misuki Marishima

And remember that nighttime is only good for a few things.

1. Sneaking in.
2. A nighttime battle that lasts until dawn.
3. Assassination.
4. Full moons.
5. Vampires.

6. Dancing
7. Wolves
8. Curses

9. Making something to do away with so glorious Day can return, because Night is Evil.

10. Running away from home (because your character is so hxc rebellious)
11. Smex (the romantic kind)

12. Almost gang rape so your character can be saved by hawt stalker love interest. Drop the 'almost' if you want maximum angst.

Also, a character can never wear jewelry just because they happen to like the way it looks. It must always have sentimental value/magic power/symbolism etc.

[I_Write_Ivre]

M e i

Fabulous Dahling

Jiraku

DarknessofHeavenandDreams

Misuki Marishima

And remember that nighttime is only good for a few things.

1. Sneaking in.
2. A nighttime battle that lasts until dawn.
3. Assassination.
4. Full moons.
5. Vampires.

6. Dancing
7. Wolves
8. Curses

9. Making something to do away with so glorious Day can return, because Night is Evil.

10. Running away from home (because your character is so hxc rebellious)
11. Smex (the romantic kind)

12. Almost gang rape so your character can be saved by hawt stalker love interest. Drop the 'almost' if you want maximum angst.

Also, a character can never wear jewelry just because they happen to like the way it looks. It must always have sentimental value/magic power/symbolism etc.

Nor will they ever take the jeelwery off unless they know a plot point is coming.

[Your_worst_nightmare91]

Have Your Pi

Involve something religious. The Bible's a bestseller, right?

Quoted for truth