The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2253 ]
I add new things.	14.9%	[ 1923 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.6%	[ 8707 ]
Total Votes:			[ 12883 ]

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

avearia

Keys to locked dungeon cells will always be placed in the room, hanging on a hook visible to the hero. The villain is not smart enough to take it with him. And, don't you dare do something original, like, say, have the key hanging on said hook be the one to the prison door, not the cell cage.

((That would be insanely funny, though. I mentioned this to someone, and they said 'but the villain has to hang the key just out of reach, to taunt the hero in the cell!" and I said, "Well, okay, but what if the heroes go through the hour-long, multiple attempts at getting the key, to realize that it's not the one that opens the door?))

((that would be funny))

No one ever uses a padlock or passwords. It's always key, keycards, or scans.

[Rei the Wannabe Wizard]

The Phoenix Rises Again

avearia

Keys to locked dungeon cells will always be placed in the room, hanging on a hook visible to the hero. The villain is not smart enough to take it with him. And, don't you dare do something original, like, say, have the key hanging on said hook be the one to the prison door, not the cell cage.

((That would be insanely funny, though. I mentioned this to someone, and they said 'but the villain has to hang the key just out of reach, to taunt the hero in the cell!" and I said, "Well, okay, but what if the heroes go through the hour-long, multiple attempts at getting the key, to realize that it's not the one that opens the door?))

((that would be funny))

No one ever uses a padlock or passwords. It's always key, keycards, or scans.

No, no, there ARE passwords but they're never difficult. Your hero can always figure it out because the password ends up being something a five year old could figure out.

And padlocks, yes they do have them. But a spare key is always found/stolen. If not, the lock is opened with magic. Because magic can do that. Magic can do ANYTHING - even make a straight character gay.

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

Rei the Wannabe Wizard

Magic can do ANYTHING - even make a straight character gay.

pfft. Pretty and awesome enough girls can do that.

Inversely hot enough people of the same gender can turn straight people gay.

[Alulae]

Conversely, all bisexual females will end up choosing male partners in the end, even if they've found females they could dedicate themselves to.

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

People who sleep around are always punished for doing so. How dare characters enjoy sex when it's not twu wuv?

[Alulae]

Twu wuv feels like animals inside you. Always.

[II Carolus II]

Oh, but of course, if a story for under-eighteens, there can be no openly gay or lesbian characters! God forbid that children see a tiny bit of reality!

And if characters ARE gay, they all have to be teenagers or young adults. No gay old people, because nobody who is gay lives past the age of 35!


That is why J.K. Rowling has earned my undying respect. heart

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

Religion is not science, thus you do not need to look it up.

[Misuki Marishima]

And remember this too whenever you write...

Deus ex machinas are good. They're great. You probably exist because of one, so use them quite often.

[avearia]

Emoticons are an amazing way to put emotions in the story exclaim and create emphasis for what you or the character are feeling. sad redface xd If the character is happy, and you don't put the biggrin in the story, you're not doing it right. Conversely, if there is an evil evil ninja ninja speaking, you MUST have those icons before and after he speaks. In fact, just write the story in script format, and use the emoticons for what the readers should be feeling when they read it. That'll make you look cool. cool

((and, for sarcasm's sake: this is how I feel after writing that. sweatdrop ))

[semisweet123]

I dont know if this has been said already but......

Your characters should never go to school. They are obviously too busy with their adventurous lives to worry about something as pitiful as school. Especially, because they already know how to create an acid to melt through prison walls, using only a strand of hair and a match.

Never forget to give your hero and evil twin, jealous of the hero's beauty or smarts.... or powers.

[Firlodge_the_second]

((XD:

Hero goes through the long attempts at retrieving the key only to be catapulted into the prison.

Villain comes by to check on his captive, the heroine. "My, my, Mr. Hero, no-one's ever tried to break into prison before." ))

[Misuki Marishima]

The only reason your character has to go to school is to meet the high school sweetheart. Other than that, it's definitely not important. XD