[ Poll ] The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.		17.2%	[ 1678 ]
I add new things.		15.3%	[ 1493 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).		67.5%	[ 6594 ]

Total Votes: 9765

[I_Write_Ivre]

Ludera

Misuki Marishima

And you can even make the non-human racism resemble human racism, from derogatory names to lynching.

((There've been reports of groups of dolphins ganging up on and killing porpoises for absolutely no reason whatsoever, in the same sort of fashion that radical human hate groups gang up and lynch ethnic groups they don't like. No citation, I know, but I'm sure you can find something on that on Google. If a creature is sufficiently intelligent and social, there'll probably be behaviour resembling racism in some groups of them. So this is truth, not anti-guide material!))

((Cracked.com
Search for 'biggest dicks in the Animal Kingom' (not THAT kind). They have citations))

((When I started this, I was referring to black Bayformers or cartoon characters))

[Workplace Boredom]

Ludera

Misuki Marishima

And you can even make the non-human racism resemble human racism, from derogatory names to lynching.

((There've been reports of groups of dolphins ganging up on and killing porpoises for absolutely no reason whatsoever, in the same sort of fashion that radical human hate groups gang up and lynch ethnic groups they don't like. No citation, I know, but I'm sure you can find something on that on Google. If a creature is sufficiently intelligent and social, there'll probably be behaviour resembling racism in some groups of them. So this is truth, not anti-guide material!))

There is only one mental disorder in existence: schizophrenia. There are two kinds of it, the kind where you have multiple personalities and the kind where you hear voices that tell you to kill stuff. The second kind always comes with auditory and visual hallucinations (visual hallucinations always take the form of real people or monsters too, not just weird dots in the sky or whatever) and sufferers are always violent. In the first kind, there's always a violent killer personality. There should be one psychotic villain in every story whose characterization is almost entirely "I'm insane and pitiable," because psychosis is really cool and scary at the same time and when they're just minor characters you don't really need to do any research on the disorder.

Split personality isn't really a disorder anyway. It's just a sign that there are two different people inside one person!

[I_Write_Ivre]

Insanity is never caused by a medical problem (pellagra, several unpronounceable things on House, hallucinogenic fungus in rye bread.)

[Doctor Pips]

b00_2

And remember, you can't write a story without love.

((I don't know I kind of agree. I mean I like stories if there is some form of love whether it be familial, romantic, or platonic variations of love. I prefer knowing the the characters have had someone close to them.))

Oh, and DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder, is not at all rare. So it's okay to have nearly all of your character to have different personalities/alters. It doesn't make life hard, it just makes it all the more fun.

Also anti-social is when you aren't social. It totally doesn't mean something different.

Another thing that isn't rare at all is sociopaths. They are abundant and it makes your main character more bad a** if they are a sociopath.

[I_Write_Ivre]

All douchebags are really hurting inside for a momy and daddy to stop fighting and not die.

[Doctor Pips]

Or they are just mean to be mean.

It's either one or the other. There is no middle ground with jerks/douchebags.

[Ludera]

Doctor Pips

b00_2

And remember, you can't write a story without love.

((I don't know I kind of agree. I mean I like stories if there is some form of love whether it be familial, romantic, or platonic variations of love. I prefer knowing the the characters have had someone close to them.))

((Agreed. I think groups of completely asexual +18 people with no family ties are rather rare. Also, love is a damn good motive and a very powerful device. Talking it away is leaving your story cold and prickly.

On that note...))

It's artsy when your entire group (or maybe anti-group would be a better word, as they rarely mix) of lonerish characters hate each others' guts. Romantic liaisons shouldn't be in there unless they are painfully unrequited, friendships should be broken down instead of built up, if there was anything in the beginning. The less interaction the better; All your readers are lonely, depressive, bitter individuals, so your characters should reflect that. ((This may be true. I can't imagine anyone without serious seratonin deficiency would enjoy reading a novel entirely devoid of love of any kind.))

[avearia]

Ludera

Doctor Pips

b00_2

And remember, you can't write a story without love.

((I don't know I kind of agree. I mean I like stories if there is some form of love whether it be familial, romantic, or platonic variations of love. I prefer knowing the the characters have had someone close to them.))

((Agreed. I think groups of completely asexual +18 people with no family ties are rather rare. Also, love is a damn good motive and a very powerful device. Talking it away is leaving your story cold and prickly.

On that note...))

It's artsy when your entire group (or maybe anti-group would be a better word, as they rarely mix) of lonerish characters hate each others' guts. Romantic liaisons shouldn't be in there unless they are painfully unrequited, friendships should be broken down instead of built up, if there was anything in the beginning. The less interaction the better; All your readers are lonely, depressive, bitter individuals, so your characters should reflect that. ((This may be true. I can't imagine anyone without serious seratonin deficiency would enjoy reading a novel entirely devoid of love of any kind.))

((I think Boo meant the 'OMG You're a boy and I'm a girl lets have SEX!" kind of love. I can think of a dozen stories that don't involve romance of any kind. it's not necessary to have hookups in every single story. Action, Mystery, and Friendship stories are good examples.))

On the subject of Loners, you must have at least one in your story. Everyone loves a rogue character, after all. Chances are, too, that Your loner will join up with the leader's group, despite hating all human interaction and having been on their own for 10+ years. They can totally join the group without discarding their loner personality, and they won't have any problem being in a group at all!

Oh, and you can give them an "Antisocial Personality Disorder", because that's the disorder's REAL definition--being antisocial.

[I_Write_Ivre]

Gods are not allowed to choose their elements.

[Ludera]

Gods always have elements, if there's multiple. (God of wine? God of childbirth? God of destruction and rebirth? No, we need abstract concepts that symbolise a lot and mean nothing in particular. These are always better.)

Bonus points if you have four gods and each one represents one of the four main elements: fire, water, earth and water. Because these elements are definitely not overused to the point where there's actually nothing left to use, and they definitely aren't one of the most annoying and most trite plot devices/ideas/whatever in the history of fantasy novels. Most of all, you are definitely not a hack if you do this.

((I am going to be frank with you guys and say I hate these four elements with the burning passion of a thousand suns. If everyone decided that they were never to be used again, I would cheer louder than anyone else could even hope to and strain my vocal cords and not be able to talk for weeks, I swear to god. Apologies to anyone who is currently using them, this is one of my biggest pet peeves ever. Seeing it outside cliche RPG video games makes me want to kick puppies and punch kittens.))

[Silent Superhero]

avearia

On the subject of Loners, you must have at least one in your story. Everyone loves a rogue character, after all. Chances are, too, that Your loner will join up with the leader's group, despite hating all human interaction and having been on their own for 10+ years. They can totally join the group without discarding their loner personality, and they won't have any problem being in a group at all!

Oh, and you can give them an "Antisocial Personality Disorder", because that's the disorder's REAL definition--being antisocial.

Also, every loner chooses to cut themselves off from all human contact.

Shy? What is that?
Uncertain how to interact with others? What??
Picked on when you were younger? Why would that stop you from interacting?

[e d e n - s o n g]

Ludera

Gods always have elements, if there's multiple. (God of wine? God of childbirth? God of destruction and rebirth? No, we need abstract concepts that symbolise a lot and mean nothing in particular. These are always better.)
Bonus points if you have four gods and each one represents one of the four main elements: fire, water, earth and water. Because these elements are definitely not overused to the point where there's actually nothing left to use, and they definitely aren't one of the most annoying and most trite plot devices/ideas/whatever in the history of fantasy novels. Most of all, you are definitely not a hack if you do this.
((I am going to be frank with you guys and say I hate these four elements with the burning passion of a thousand suns. If everyone decided that they were never to be used again, I would cheer louder than anyone else could even hope to and strain my vocal cords and not be able to talk for weeks, I swear to god. Apologies to anyone who is currently using them, this is one of my biggest pet peeves ever. Seeing it outside cliche RPG video games makes me want to kick puppies and punch kittens.))

((********! So sick of people who do this and think they're genius.

[Misuki Marishima]

TigerStar47

avearia

On the subject of Loners, you must have at least one in your story. Everyone loves a rogue character, after all. Chances are, too, that Your loner will join up with the leader's group, despite hating all human interaction and having been on their own for 10+ years. They can totally join the group without discarding their loner personality, and they won't have any problem being in a group at all!

Oh, and you can give them an "Antisocial Personality Disorder", because that's the disorder's REAL definition--being antisocial.

Also, every loner chooses to cut themselves off from all human contact.

Shy? What is that?
Uncertain how to interact with others? What??
Picked on when you were younger? Why would that stop you from interacting?

{Wow, I'm surprisingly all 3 of those. <3}

And your loner doesn't need a reason to be away from all human contact either. They can never just be plain annoyed of some people, because true protagonists are never annoyed by anything.

[Workplace Boredom]

avearia

Oh, and you can give them an "Antisocial Personality Disorder", because that's the disorder's REAL definition--being antisocial.

Antisocial don't mean that you compulsively s**t on society and common courtesy as the psychologists like to claim, it just means that you prefer moping around all by yourself instead of spending time with your friends, unlike like those evil PREPZ.


http://www.antichav.com/gallery/1_27_02_08_2_43_52.jpg

These guys are obviously not antisocial, right?

((That guy to the right with the bottle would actually look half-decent if he learned how to dress.))

[Firlodge_the_second]

((We seriously need to pinch that idea of 'different-words-for-different-loves' from the Ancient Greeks.))