The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2292 ]
I add new things.	14.9%	[ 1951 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.6%	[ 8852 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13095 ]

[Ophiucha]

Hikari_Riku

Aldorel

Ophiucha

Since we are talking about school, I'd like to point out that there is no such thing as auditing. They can be absent as many times as they'd like with no consequence as long as they are oh-so-smart and do amazingly well because school is just too easy for your MC. Somehow, though, your kind-of-stupid sidekick should also make it out alright because of the MC's help. And school's will never ask for a note from their parent(s) as to why they were absent, because they were saving an alternative dimension from evil! What other explanation do they NEED?! Jesus.

In fact, the teacher won't even ask the student where they were, because they will somehow sense that the MC was doing something really, really great and important.

In the event that they do ask why the MC missed two months of school and the MC does say "I was saving an alternative dimension from evil", the teacher will never refer the MC's parents to a psychiatrist.

((I just have to say that, in 4th grade, I got really dehydrated and missed 2 weeks of school because I was in the hospital, and when I got out, I went back to school, sat down in my desk, and nobody even asked where I'd been or for a note or anything. . .so, maybe that's not entirely true. <<; I still don't think anyone knows I was in the hospital, and I'm not even sure they noticed I was gone. lol ))

((that's probably 'cause it was Elementary School... I was in the hospital for two months in 2nd Grade and they just said "oh, you'll be excused for all of the work" in that kind of way that shows nobody gave a s**t about 2nd grade... but if I did that now, I'd have a small mountain of work and I'd definitely fail the 3rd quarter >_< ))

[Misuki Marishima]

Someone who was born mute will always get their voice at the end of the story, and it will turn out to be lovely, despite not having a single speech lesson.

[Clare_N]

Either that or they'll be able to communicate via telepathy.

[Half Baked SF]

Twins always always ALWAYS have some form of telepathic or empathetic ability.

[Karma Explosion]

IB Hopeless

Twins always always ALWAYS have some form of telepathic or empathetic ability.

And they either have had it since birth, or discover it during puberty. Right before they find out they're destined to be the Saviors of Earth.

[Rid V]

Reinna Astarel

ryokomayuka

What about the rich in your stories?

If the main character is rich, it's never because they've actually worked for it (needing to work for a living cramps the style of going out on a big quest). It's because their parents were geniuses or the top of their field, and they died (horrifically tragic) deaths, leaving the bulk of their wealth to their young teenage child. Bonus points if these aloof and distant rich parents abused him or her and they get to come out of it all with an Angsty! Past and infinite wealth.

((According to what I've read (which admittedly, isn't extensive) most rich people in the US were born into families that have been rich for generations. Sure, you hear all about the rags-to-riches stories because they make good drama, and the emphasis on them tends to make people think that's how most people get rich. One of my professors has guessed (perhaps a little pessimistically) that 95% of the people in the US die in the same social bracket they were born in.

((So, the rich main character who was born rich? Likely. The rich main character whose parents made all their wealth instead of being born into as well? Less likely, although from a narrative viewpoint, it's less objectionable (read: cliche) than the main character who makes their own way from rags-to-riches.))

Military commanders—with the possible exception of your main character and any companions thereof—always support the military option. Soldiers and warriors are always gung-ho for any plan which involves going out and fighting someone and they never have moral or tactical qualms (“they're not fighting back,” “it's too risky,” “we haven't tried the diplomatic solution,” “espionage is better in this sort of situation” “that's bloody insane”) with any plan that involves a maximum amount of slaughter, preferably of the enemy, but of their own troops for second best.

[Serverus Snope]

Karma Explosion

IB Hopeless

Twins always always ALWAYS have some form of telepathic or empathetic ability.

And they either have had it since birth, or discover it during puberty. Right before they find out they're destined to be the Saviors of Earth.

And, of course, they have theme naming. There are no twins named Bob and Niko. They should be Dot and Todd, or Candy and Mandy, or something else like that!

((Still seeking opinions about a Pokemon Anti-Guide.))

[Misuki Marishima]

And your MC never plays videogames, unless they are a nerd. Then they can be sucked inside it, but otherwise... no.

[Aldorel]

Misuki Marishima

And your MC never plays videogames, unless they are a nerd. Then they can be sucked inside it, but otherwise... no.

In the event that you have a nerdy videogame player, and the story has action in it, you must give them aI Know Mortal Kombat moment. This will be the only time they ever do anything even remotely cool in the course of the story.

((When I was younger, I loved how in Animorphs, Marco always ended up driving thanks to his video game experience - and he was always crashing into things. It's mentioned as a subversion on the tropes page.))

[Maiden of Lost Memories]

I'm so thoroughly entertained by what I'm reading that I can't think of anything new!! xD Rock on, though, this thread is brilliant. whee

[Rid V]

The Power of Love is without a doubt the most powerful force in the universe. It can topple Evil Overlords, wipe out or otherwise pacify unholy armies, and destroy or convert the most inhuman Eldritch Abomination. Conversely (and perhaps paradoxically) it can transcend distance, time, biology and social status, grant an ordinary human being God-like powers, resurrect the dead, and provide a +2 circumstance bonus to certain skill checks.

… But that's just for True Love. Love of family members, friends, pets, locations or anything else is insufficiently epic and romantic and therefore of negligible consequence when it comes to practical matters of addressing the story's main conflict. Romantic love between people which is not eternal and all-conquering (like, e.g. my parents') is shallow, childish, and also of no significance whatsoever.

[A Madness Shared by Two]

--To make your ******** writing more ******** cool be sure to use to work "********" as many ******** times as you like even when it adds ******** nothing except ******** clutter.
--If you MC goes to a new school, they have to hate it. And even though they have only been there for a day they should always cry to there mommy about how much they hate there new school, then by the end of the book they have about 5000 friends and everyone loves them
--If you have twins they must be identical but act like opposites...since ferturnal twins (or however you spell it) are nearly impossible in this day and age.
--If your character is a prince he must always be a rocker. If you character is a princess, they must run away from home.
--If your character is blind some weird old guy will come and restore there eyesight then die.
--If you have a character over 60 years old, they must die by the end of the story because you know people over 60 are on the verge of death
--Your character must never abandon a comrade. Never.

[MiaIkumis#1Fan]

A Madness Shared by Two

--If you have a character over 60 years old, they must die by the end of the story because you know people over 60 are on the verge of death.

(( I broke this rule D: In my defense, she was already dying of cancer and was very weak, and she basically overexerted herself, got much sicker, and passed on. ))

And to the whole thing about cursing, it ALWAYS makes your characters seem cooler. You can NEVER have characters curse so much to the point where there is no actual intelligent conversation going on. Cursing automatically makes a character bad-a**, therefore, the more you have the more bad-a** they are!

(( I was once reading a pretty good story, but all I remember is the main character started talking to her friends and all the did the entire conversation was curse up a storm and a small tornado, and it got REALLY boring. Can you say, overkill? ))

[Clare_N]

Jiraku

((Still seeking opinions about a Pokemon Anti-Guide.))

I think a "Pokemon" anti-guide would be great. And here's a quick suggestion for something to put in it:

Your story MUST begin with an aspiring Pokemon trainer waking up late on the day he is supposed to get his first Pokemon. He rushes to the local Pokemon lab, only to find that all the Pokemon are gone, except a Pikachu who hates being in Poke Balls. Basically, just copy the first episode of the anime.

[Serverus Snope]

Introducing... The Pokemon Fic/RP Anti-Guide! According to the title, this guide also covers Pokemon RPs as well, so there's more to discuss.