The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2292 ]
I add new things.	14.9%	[ 1951 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.6%	[ 8852 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13095 ]

[IsaLuna]

Summaries are optional. No one wants to know what your story is about before they start reading, not even what pairings or the basic premise.

If you do decide to give a summary, you should tell everything that happens in the story in short form. Include character deaths and other minute details. No one will be mad; it's their fault they read the summary.

[Workplace Boredom]

While writing your college application essay, be sure to address your audience. Tell them how nice of a person you think the guy reading your essay is. Compliment the clothes you think he's wearing. Tell them about how awesome the college is.

Seriously, the more you flatter the application readers, the more likely you are to be accepted.

[Half Baked SF]

If two characters are at each other's throats at the start of your story, they must be in love by the end. Even if each are only secretly in love with the other and they still decide to fight instead, they must be absolutely smitten.

This is ESPECIALLY true with main characters. But if the relationship doesn't do a complete 180, you've done something wrong.

[larvitarsstealsouls]

scrubskitten

((Damn, this is REALLY inspiring me to write a satire. xD))

DOOO EEEET.

[-Resurrected Writer-]

IsaLuna

Summaries are optional. No one wants to know what your story is about before they start reading, not even what pairings or the basic premise.

If you do decide to give a summary, you should tell everything that happens in the story in short form. Include character deaths and other minute details. No one will be mad; it's their fault they read the summary.

((I certainly hope the opposite doesn't apply to short story cover letters))

[Doctor Pips]

IB Hopeless

If two characters are at each other's throats at the start of your story, they must be in love by the end. Even if each are only secretly in love with the other and they still decide to fight instead, they must be absolutely smitten.

This is ESPECIALLY true with main characters. But if the relationship doesn't do a complete 180, you've done something wrong.

((I dodged this bullet by a hair (and then got shot by it later), by the end of the story they bicker and are friends nothing romantic until the second book which there is a two year lull in between))

[Misuki Marishima]

Animals are never violent unless they are in the service of the Big Bad. They can never be just naturally agressive, as agression is a state of mind that only comes when Darkness is present.

[Doctor Pips]

Misuki Marishima

Animals are never violent unless they are in the service of the Big Bad. They can never be just naturally agressive, as agression is a state of mind that only comes when Darkness is present.

Because, when whole populace is starving because of the Big Bad it will never mean that the animals might also be affected and try to attack your characters for food while they are traipsing mindlessly through the woods, or they even when your characters are within their territory or near their babies 'cause good animals know that your characters won't hurt their progeny.

[Mello_McQueen]

When writing a fantasy story, remember that modern technology cannot possibly exist. There are no computers, phones, cars or electricity whatsoever.

Everyone keeps in touch by handwritten letter's sent by carrier pigeon, or owl, and they must all operate by candle light and wood stoves, heating is non-existent and everyone walks EVERYWHERE. Don't mind that there are horses and your main character's could easily rent some, and/or are expert thieves and have no qualms with stealing some, they must walk on their epic journey, otherwise, they've cheated.

Despite being dirt poor, all character's must own at least one book, even though your fantasy world is based on a time when only rich people could afford books, and/or even knew how to read. *coughMedeviltimescough*

Schools also do not exist in the modernized form, and only serve to teach your character how to be a BAdAsS*, who can kill twenty people all at once with their little finger. This place also serves to introduce the childhood best friend of MC/rival/love interest who will eventually fall in love with them at some point and should definitely die for this.

People also always eat noodles of some sort (aka: Ramen) with chopsticks, despite the fact that these are of Asian origin and everyone in that time ate with their hands, even the king.

Also, on your character's journey, there should always be a conveniently placed apple tree, or berry bush, or growth of mysterious edible mushrooms. Other sorts of trees like pear, orange, or pineapple don't exist, nor do grape vines or vegetables. Those things must be grown in people's garden's, because of course, that's where they originated after all. Ra forbid their be natural vegetables in the world. . .

*wHEn wRiTInG bE SuRe 2 tYPe lYKe tHz, rEaDErS <3 EEEEET.

[Misuki Marishima]

{Mysterious edible mushrooms... rofl Mushrooms.. I'll shut up now.}

If one of your prince/ess's knights happens to die, they did it because they were protecting him/her from the Big Bad. They rarely, if ever, die from a cause that's outside of battle.

[Ol Gypsy]

Misuki Marishima

{Mysterious edible mushrooms... rofl Mushrooms.. I'll shut up now.}

If one of your prince/ess's knights happens to die, they did it because they were protecting him/her from the Big Bad. They rarely, if ever, die from a cause that's outside of battle.

Yeah, because, honestly -- how could you ever justify the prince(ss) coming back to kill the big bad? DEATHS MUST BE AVENGED.

[SoulSalvage]

Hikari_Riku

When writing a fantasy story, remember that modern technology cannot possibly exist. There are no computers, phones, cars or electricity whatsoever.

Everyone keeps in touch by handwritten letter's sent by carrier pigeon, or owl, and they must all operate by candle light and wood stoves, heating is non-existent and everyone walks EVERYWHERE. Don't mind that there are horses and your main character's could easily rent some, and/or are expert thieves and have no qualms with stealing some, they must walk on their epic journey, otherwise, they've cheated.

Despite being dirt poor, all character's must own at least one book, even though your fantasy world is based on a time when only rich people could afford books, and/or even knew how to read. *coughMedeviltimescough*

Schools also do not exist in the modernized form, and only serve to teach your character how to be a BAdAsS*, who can kill twenty people all at once with their little finger. This place also serves to introduce the childhood best friend of MC/rival/love interest who will eventually fall in love with them at some point and should definitely die for this.

People also always eat noodles of some sort (aka: Ramen) with chopsticks, despite the fact that these are of Asian origin and everyone in that time ate with their hands, even the king.

Also, on your character's journey, there should always be a conveniently placed apple tree, or berry bush, or growth of mysterious edible mushrooms. Other sorts of trees like pear, orange, or pineapple don't exist, nor do grape vines or vegetables. Those things must be grown in people's garden's, because of course, that's where they originated after all. Ra forbid their be natural vegetables in the world. . .

*wHEn wRiTInG bE SuRe 2 tYPe lYKe tHz, rEaDErS <3 EEEEET.

((Ra forbid. After reading that, I forgot about everything else I was reading. xd ))

[Misuki Marishima]

And the only knights that are allowed to die are the old ones. Any young ones must be the Lancelot type, no exceptions. And despite their tactian and commander going down in battle, they know exactly how to direct the troops.

Oh wait, that's practical strategy. Those rules don't need to apply in fantasy, because everyone knows that no matter what, the good guys always win.

[Rainbow Awesomeness]

There are only two types of faeries: good faeries and bad faeries. There is no middle ground, like humans; faeries are only the extreme sides of the spectrum.

[Misuki Marishima]

Also, your female characters can wear ask skimpy outfits as they want, but they won't be considered a seductress until they latch on to a character you like.