The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2292 ]
I add new things.	14.9%	[ 1951 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.6%	[ 8852 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13095 ]

[Misuki Marishima]

{Now that I think of it, we also haven't had a mention of new mo- *silenced*}

Your sniper must never miss. Ever. If he does, what business does he have being on your MC's team? Only enemy snipers can miss.

[Rid V]

Misuki Marishima

Also, when you make a very likable, original, and awesome character, you must feed them to the Grim Reaper. ((Why does this always happen to the characters I liiiiiiiikeeeeee?!! D: D: D: It makes me not want to have any favorites anymore, as they are always dying!))

((I hate it when that happens. It's kinda what I was going for when I said this: ))

Rid V

Any character whose basic function within the story is finished should die off as soon as possible thereafter so as to get out of the way of more important characters. Anyone who the protagonist no longer needs should get offed, preferably by the antagonist; anyone who the antagonist no longer needs should also get offed, preferably by the villain.

For best effect, the character who was helping (our trying to help the protagonist), or the character who was duped into helping the antagonist should be the most original (and if you’re really on a role coolest and most interesting) character in the story.

Such characters need not necessarily be cooler than the main character(s), in point of fact. Any character who is different in themselves or who don’t fill any obvious role in the story (e.g. hero, mentor, sidekick, rival, antagonist, support team, exposition generator, etc.) in other words, any character who the audience will say “huh, I don’t see how this person fits into the generic plot” must fit in the obvious way: by getting killed off before they can derail the generic plot in question.

So your story is highly oriented around a single main character. In fact, it’s so oriented around that character that it’s a first person narrator. But wait! You need to impart information to the audience that the main character cannot know (at least, not at this point). You’re committed to the first person narrator for the rest of the story (or some of it) but you just can’t convey this crucial information from the main character’s viewpoint.

Solution? Don’t sweat it. Just slap in a section or two (or three, or five …) of third person narration for just the scenes you can’t include in first-person. The less explanation given for this departure the better.

[IsaLuna]

Disreguard this excellent pet peeve list by bjewelled.

Top Ten pet peeves (for Fanfic and Writing in general)

[IsaLuna]

Rid V

So your story is highly oriented around a single main character. In fact, it’s so oriented around that character that it’s a first person narrator. But wait! You need to impart information to the audience that the main character cannot know (at least, not at this point). You’re committed to the first person narrator for the rest of the story (or some of it) but you just can’t convey this crucial information from the main character’s viewpoint.

Solution? Don’t sweat it. Just slap in a section or two (or three, or five …) of third person narration for just the scenes you can’t include in first-person. The less explanation given for this departure the better.

i.e. Be Stephenie Meyer.

Not to mention any names or anything...

[Sir Lampy of Locksley]

IsaLuna

Rid V

So your story is highly oriented around a single main character. In fact, it’s so oriented around that character that it’s a first person narrator. But wait! You need to impart information to the audience that the main character cannot know (at least, not at this point). You’re committed to the first person narrator for the rest of the story (or some of it) but you just can’t convey this crucial information from the main character’s viewpoint.

Solution? Don’t sweat it. Just slap in a section or two (or three, or five …) of third person narration for just the scenes you can’t include in first-person. The less explanation given for this departure the better.

i.e. Be Stephenie Meyer.

Not to mention any names or anything...

[NOOO YOU STARTED IT ALL OVER AGAIN!

I thought I made myself perfectly clear--]

[Serverus Snope]

IsaLuna

Disreguard this excellent pet peeve list by bjewelled.

Top Ten pet peeves (for Fanfic and Writing in general)

10 is kinda off. Said should be applied LIBERALLY. Or CONSERVATIVELY, depending on your political affiliation, because whatever you believe is automatically right. It's not "shouted," "roared," or "screeched" (or "ejaculated." Haha, "ejaculated." ) unless you use the same word like, 20000 times. It's "said" or "said loudly" every time if that rule isn't followed.

[Aldorel]

Jiraku

Said should be applied LIBERALLY. Or CONSERVATIVELY, depending on your political affiliation, because whatever you believe is automatically right. It's not "shouted," "roared," or "screeched" (or "ejaculated." Haha, "ejaculated." ) unless you use the same word like, 20000 times. It's "said" or "said loudly" every time if that rule isn't followed.

Actually, the very best thing you can do is add an adverb to every single speech tag you use, and use a speech tag for every single line of dialogue. The more redundant, the better. Don't worry if your adverbs don't make sense - it's enough to have them there. It should look like this:

"OMG, Captain!" said Perky Williamson loudly.
"What is it?" said the captain sexily.
"The pirates are attacking the starboard port!" said Perky fearfully.
"We'll defeat them easily." said the captain confidently.
"Avast, ye skurvy dogs!" said a pirate dangerously.
"We'll never surrender!" said the captain boldly.
"Oh, captain, you're so manly." said Perky admiringly.
"I know." said the captain handsomely.

Notice that the speech tags totally substitute for any kind of action words, like "The captain drew his rapier." or "A pirate entered the room." The reader can fill that in on their own.

The alternative is to ignore speech tags altogether, which is great if you want to be avant-garde! (Which means "smarter than your readers." wink

"OMG, Captain!"
"What is it?"
"The pirates are attacking the starboard port!"
"We'll defeat them easily."
"Avast, ye skurvy dogs!"
"We'll never surrender!"
"Oh, captain, you're so manly."
"I know."

[Karma Explosion]

IsaLuna

Disreguard this excellent pet peeve list by bjewelled.

Top Ten pet peeves (for Fanfic and Writing in general)

(( "he inserted his CD into her CD player"
Oh my God. That made me laugh so hard.))

[Serverus Snope]

This person is deranged. A Sasuke with blue hair and a red shirt is totally original.

((Possible debate topic: even with prominently decent fan fics around, are any fan characters or fan fics "creative" if according to the link, fan fics are only "half creative" and use only "half of your imagination" because one already has the setting and rules of the world to work with?))

[A Madness Shared by Two]

Ignore what you learned in elementary school english class, it does not help. People can read your story perfectly without capitalization, period and paragraphs.

and you know chatspeak is perfectly okay, cause you know everyone on the internet uses it.

i mean dis paragraph that ur reading u can undrstand it perfectly so what is ta point in working so hard 2 get everythng perfect srsly

[Karma Explosion]

((@Jiraku: I think the writer of that article is right. They're just stealing another person's characters and setting. I have no problem with people who write fanfic just to do writing practice, but the people who write only fanfic are, in my opinion, lazy, and more often than not, just self-inserting themselves as their favorite character's hawt love interest.))

[-Resurrected Writer-]

Vampires are old and overrated. You are much too awesome of a writer to use them, so clearly your characters must be something else.

ZOMBIES! SO TOTALLY AWESOME AND ORIGINAL!

[Misuki Marishima]

Jiraku

IsaLuna

Disreguard this excellent pet peeve list by bjewelled.

Top Ten pet peeves (for Fanfic and Writing in general)

10 is kinda off. Said should be applied LIBERALLY. Or CONSERVATIVELY, depending on your political affiliation, because whatever you believe is automatically right. It's not "shouted," "roared," or "screeched" (or "ejaculated." Haha, "ejaculated." ) unless you use the same word like, 20000 times. It's "said" or "said loudly" every time if that rule isn't followed.

{I wanna read the liiiiink! D: I can't! IE won't display it!}

Also, remember there is only one mindset for the whole story. Adventure, angst, humor, etc. The tone can never change.

[Aldorel]

Jiraku

This person is deranged. A Sasuke with blue hair and a red shirt is totally original.

((Possible debate topic: even with prominently decent fan fics around, are any fan characters or fan fics "creative" if according to the link, fan fics are only "half creative" and use only "half of your imagination" because one already has the setting and rules of the world to work with?))

Karma Explosion

((@Jiraku: I think the writer of that article is right. They're just stealing another person's characters and setting. I have no problem with people who write fanfic just to do writing practice, but the people who write only fanfic are, in my opinion, lazy, and more often than not, just self-inserting themselves as their favorite character's hawt love interest.))

((I disagree. Working within an existing world framework to weave a new and engaging story is definitely creative. Being internally consistent and believable is one of the biggest challenges in world-creating, and many writers fail at it. Shouldn't we appreciate people who are able to be consistent with what another artist has already created, and still add something meaningful to the story or characters?

Why, I found a wonderful Labyrinth fanfic here on Gaia that adds a whole new dimension to Jareth's character, smoothly uses several of the Labyrinth's features, and adds new obstacles that make sense in terms of the world constructed by the movie. I dare you to argue that the author was being lazy or less creative than someone writing non-fanfic.))

The Article

Look, Kids. Youre insulting not only the original writer of the series (as if to say "hey your story wasn't good enough, I'm gonna make it better for you by adding my two-cents" ) but Artists like me who actually write their own stories and come up with their own characters. Leave well enough alone, and come up with your own godamned ideas! You are not being original NOR are you being creative by concocting Inuyasha's irresitable new love interest.

((See, I would've thought that fanfic was a high complement to the creators. It's like saying "I found this meaningful enough and relevant enough to me that I felt the need to be a part of it." Yeah, fan-hacks suck, and honestly I would probably feel violated if I someday published a book and the Sues and Shippers descended. But only 90% of everything is crud, and even if the rest isn't worth dying for, it's at least worth reading.

There is the potential for as much laziness and general crud in "original" fiction as in fanfic, and as much potential for real creativity in fanfic as in "original" fiction.))

[Misuki Marishima]

Also, remember that the MST 3K Mantra is always the true moral of your story too, along with 'save the environment'.

Sadness=Angst and brooding. Characters like to wear their emotions out on their sleeves, especially if they're wangsty tweens. Never once does a character think they're holding everyone back when they go on an angst fest and leave the other minor characters (and ultimately, the love interest) to motivate them.

{MAJOR Inversion: Hector of Fire Emblem. The guy's brother dies, and he still acts like he's alive, enough to say that he has to get stronger in order to be a better knight to him. =D}