The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2292 ]
I add new things.	14.9%	[ 1951 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.6%	[ 8852 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13095 ]

[Misuki Marishima]

And whenever a party member is injured, what would normally take months to heal, heals in 3 days.

[-Resurrected Writer-]

Three days? No one has the time for that! Three seconds or GTFO. Spells are always handy for this.

[Karma Explosion]

That's a great moment for someone to discover their awesome healer powers.

[LeitaKree]

The tears of the injured's TRU WUB work wonders as well.

[Half Baked SF]

If a dog is involved in your characters' adventure, he must die by the end of the story.

[Madam Facetious]

Said dog must be killed by the evil villain who had also tortured the dog and dissected him while he still lived. EVIL.

[Misuki Marishima]

{^ Did that actually happen before? *sniff*}

Also, whenever a woman is moody, that means she's pregnant. It's nothing to do with the raging horomones that come with being a woman.

Doctors are mad scientists, or they're charities. Nothing in between.

A band must be emo. No exceptions.

[Esoteric Order of Dagon]

The best way to describe your character's appearance is to have them look in a mirror and appraise themselves. This is the coolest way to describe your character's awesome fashion styles.

[Half Baked SF]

Madam Facetious

Said dog must be killed by the evil villain who had also tortured the dog and dissected him while he still lived. EVIL.

Actually, dogs are allowed to get sick and die, or become seriously injured in an accident, as long as it makes your MC angst about losing his best friend.

[Zacki Zari]

((Ah~! I love this thread~! ))
No, no. The best way to have a canine companion die is from so horrible disease~!
That way your MC can angst about it later~!
Old Yeller FTW.

[Zacki Zari]

((Crap. I posted that after right after IB. I shall go mope now.))

[Half Baked SF]

Zacki Zari

((Crap. I posted that after right after IB. I shall go mope now.))

((Well, you know what they say about great minds biggrin ))

The above laws do not apply to cats. Cats are immortal and invincible. After a nuclear holocaust, cats will be seen running around munching on cockroaches.

[Esoteric Order of Dagon]

A song about angst-in-writing by moi:

This character is smexy
Because he's depressed
His hair is gorgeous
Because he's distressed
He cuts himself every night
And that makes me want to touch my pus-

See him in a romance setting
Let him bite his girl
Oh, that would be so fitting
To make him pissed all the time
It makes me so hot when I write
About all the times they fu-

Can you feel the temperature rise
When he looks at you with his piercing eyes
A feeling between your thighs
It's hard to resist
I mustn't desist
When he cries like this!
Those tears make me so ho-

Totally gorgeous
Totally HAWT!1
Because he whines!

[Half Baked SF]

If a character ever goes through a change in attitude/worldview, it's always for the better. Nobody should become more negative than they already are!

Any character who does not change for the better dies. Some reformed characters may die as well, especially if the villain is one of them.

[Madam Facetious]

Misuki Marishima

{^ Did that actually happen before? *sniff*}

I've only heard of that with humans... and Pooh Bear.

IB Hopeless

Madam Facetious

Said dog must be killed by the evil villain who had also tortured the dog and dissected him while he still lived. EVIL.

Actually, dogs are allowed to get sick and die, or become seriously injured in an accident, as long as it makes your MC angst about losing his best friend.

Nonononononoo. The MC has to get revenge for his bestest buddy, otherwise it's BORING.

((This makes me think:

"What are you reading?"
"Woes of my Lost Pal Lucky."
"Why is the MC torturing that man?"
"Read further."
Marcus reached for his scalpel. "This is for Lucky."
"WTF?!"
"Read. Further."
Frdtfilkjullvenm knew his time was up. He knew he shouldn't have tortured, dissected, kicked, shot, stabbed, drowned, castrated, pulled apart, dissected again, broke the neck of, broke all four legs and chopped them off and then finally killed Lucky. But he did and now he's dead.
"DUDE! WHY?!"
"I have no idea. Meyer's Thesaurus, I have no idea!!" wink )